Friday Challenge: Frighten a Fundy

In the spirit of the season, today’s challenge is to pick a Halloween costume that is specifically designed to be as frightening to fundamentalists as possible. Extra points will be awarded if you actually provide a photo, drawing, or MS Paint sketch of the costume in question.

(I’m personally coming as an in-context exegesis of I Thessalonians 5:22. Still haven’t exactly worked out the details of the costume design, though.)

173 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Frighten a Fundy”

    1. What is up with posts not showing up randomly. I did my first post and it didn’t show up and Admiral911’s wasn’t there when I tried the second time (which did finally show up). 🙁

        1. It’s a competition thing. I hope to be first some day and once you’ve been first once that should be good enough to hold you forever. And I think I read something about winning a butt cushion. 😉

    1. Wait, let me modify that one.

      Liberal Gay Democrat Woman Pastor passing out packets of the ‘gay virus’ and pocket NIVs and maybe WWJD bracelets. Bonus points for being a certain ethnicity

    1. Not to nitpick, but in the fundy lexicon “angry” and “Presbyterian” are synonymous. According to fundies all Calvinists are angry and since all Presbyterian’s are Calvinists you’ve actually are being redundant. 😉

      But it’s still a great costume idea and they would be frightened.

  1. A woman in pants? Or I could just wear a kilt – hmmmm that’s an idea, the local formal dress hire does kilts and I do have rather nice calves, though I say so myself.

    1. I actually did that (the PTL scandals were the major news story that year). Found the tackiest big-shouldered, polyester formal nightmare on the Goodwill rack, a big blonde wig, Mary Kay klone makeup and just to give it the final special touch; splashed a little cold water on my face so my mascara’d run. Got quite a few laughs.

  2. I guess since my education was at BJU I will go as Mrs. Billy Graham. My husband can be Billy who was a “very scary evangelical” buwahhahahaha 😈

    Or, I could just be “any ol non-fundamental Greenvillian”, aka “the world” that usually was enough to scare/repulse BJU folks. [sigh]

    1. My husband, a 6’4″ 280# firefighter, has just declared he’s going to a showing of the RHPS tonight dressed as Frank N. Furter. That should scare the Besneezus out of anyone, fundie or not. Granted, it’s not exactly Halloween, but still … *shudders* I’m petrified. 😯

  3. You could dress up as someone who was merciful, compassionate,and non judgmental, that would be awesome! However most fundies would not be able to see you because of that beam in their eye

  4. Sarah Palin with a butch haircut, flannel shirt and Birkenstocks 😎
    OR
    Glenn Beck wearing a dress
    OR
    Rick Perry in gay leather àla the Village People.
    This is too easy.

  5. You really want to do this, you need a uniform shirt and slacks the same color as the actors wore in the “Thief In the Night” movies. Then take a marker and make the 666 on your forehead. Those that don’t believe in exorcisms will faint dead away. 😈

  6. I was thinking of dressing up either as The Message Bible or Lady Gaga. (She was raised Catholic) Either one would get the same result of the Fundies having a stroke.

  7. Scaring Fundies is so easy it’s hardly even fun.
    They spend all their time scaring themselves and each other.

    But, here are a few ideas:
    http://www.ncccusa.org/gifs/nrsv.jpg

    http://www.madgirlslovesongs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/lady-gaga.jpg
    http://zunaxx.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Lady-Gaga-Hot-photo-Gallery-1.jpg
    (I’d be a middle-aged man wearing this, of course.)

    Masybe a shirt that says this:
    http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/media/S-BringBackGasOralSx.gif
    With this face:
    http://weaselzippers.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/bill-clinton-vegan.jpg
    Or, if I had a second person along:
    http://www.topnews.in/usa/files/Bill%20Clinton,%20Hillary%20Clinton.jpg

    Speaking of things that are too easy:
    http://www.wingtv.net/images/obamaFRONTFRONTFRONT.jpg
    (Putting the words “Obama as devil” into Google images got more than 7,700,000 results.)

  8. You mean something more specific than a person just having fun on Halloween? Because that seems to scare Fundies pretty good already.

    I dressed up as St. Francis of Assisi a few years ago, stigmata and all. Johann Tetzel might scare the one or two historically literate Fundies that exist.

    But for now I’d go with 1) any Pope, 2) Lady Gaga, as someone already mentioned (I’ve heard one Fundy assert that her musical goal is “to make the whole world gay”), or 3) the devil. The red costume with a pitchfork might be trite, but it makes Fundies livid–they’ve never heard that Martin Luther bit about how “the best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to the texts of Scripture, is to jeer and flount him, for he cannot bear scorn.”

        1. Thanks for the warning! Would the rest of the pictures frighten even a politically moderate, pro-life, evangelical feminist? 😯

        2. 😯 Wow, ummm, yeah, that’s all I’ve got to say, please pass the brain and eye bleach ASAP.

    1. That would be very funny. Purely Biblical, and offensive to the sensibilities of almost every American fundy (and other uptight Americans, for that matter).

  9. How about if I dressed up as James White, the Reformed theologian and author that wrote the book that utterly demolished the Fundies’ favorite doctrine of KJV-Onlyism, “The King James Only Controversy”?

  10. Two boys in white long sleeve shirts with name tags that begin “Elder”. Black book in left hand. “Hello, we have a message for you from God. But first let me ask do you believe with all your heart and soul that God loves you?…”

    “Read the book and and as you read, pray over it.”

  11. I’m already planning to go as an autumn dryad. It’s a bonus frightener because:

    It’s pagan (a tree spirit or goddess)
    It recognizes a polytheistic religion that ALSO celebrated rhetoric and reason (ancient Greek)
    It’s been Christianized via C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia (wolves in sheep’s clothing!)
    I’ll have mostly bare arms and shoulders
    I’ll be wearing make-up
    It has a figure-flattering bodice
    It encourages eco-consciousness by honoring nature
    It’s being adapted from a costume that vaguely resembles a long-skirted She-Ra

    Look out, fundies! I’ll post pictures afterward in the forum.

  12. How about a Druid?

    From Pete Seeger’s Old Time Religion:
    We will revel with the Druids
    Drink intoxicating fluids
    Running naked through the woods
    And it’s good enough for me

    (Good golly Wilber, I don’t even look at my own nekked body. God might strike me dead!)

  13. I’ve actually always wanted to be Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin’s guitarist) for halloween. I guess I could go around playing stairway to heaven BACKWARDS on my guitar to scare them (how? i have no clue) I hope you all understand the significance of that.

  14. Can someone help me with my anti-christ costume? I think that will go good with Eric as Jesus coming back post trib. Lets do it. lol 😆 😆

  15. I think I would go as a Harry Potter character. Either Lucius Malfoy or Severus Snape. Yeah. I think that would do it. . . :mrgreen: Even better would be to plant people in the crowd around me who would pretend to be writhing in pain when I use the Cruciatis curse on them. 😀 😀 :mrgreen:

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