SFL Halloween Edition: Reality Confusion

Today marks Halloween, the only holiday of the year that fundamentalists hold in even lower regard than MLK or National No Pants Day. For on this day when people dress up in cheesy costumes and consume candy there is sure to be evil afoot. Just look at all the witches, and goblins, and monsters, and whatnot! Surely that can’t be biblical! (Although the cheap candy the day after is definitely a blessing. The rain falls on the just and unjust after all)

Halloween serves to highlight the difficulty that many fundamentalists have with distinguishing between fantasy and reality. A man in a devil costume may as well be the actual devil. Never mind that dressing up in a ridiculous caricature of Old Nick really serves to mock the devil rather than show support for him, the very fact that people are willing to acknowledge that darkness exists even in jest is enough to send a lot of fundamentalists into a tizzy.

When your entire religion is built on blurring the lines between the real and the make believe then it’s not surprising that even a facade of evil is enough to scare you silly. Perception is truth. And even pretending something “evil” will infect the unwary. Don a witch costume and you’re only half a step away from…whatever it is that witches do. If you really want to mess with a fundamentalist’s head, go to a “Harvest Party” dressed up as the Witch of Endor as your Bible character. I guarantee they won’t know how to handle it.

Of course they could celebrate Jesusween instead but I think even most fundamentalists will agree that’s a bit of a stretch.

FWOTW: applebybaptistchurch.com

This week’s website is the home of Appleby Baptist Church in Nacogdoches, TX and it hits all the fundy high notes in style. Don’t miss the Christ-honoring sermons with titles like “When He is a whoremonger- When she is a whore” and “400 Years ago and the KJ Bible is still so.” (Still so what we might never know but I’m sure it’s lovely.)

Also don’t miss the standard Church Covenant, blatant copyright violations on their music page, and gospel-filled articles with titles like “Interracial Marriages in Light of the Scriptures” and “Baptist Preachers and N—–r Jokes.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.