Fundamentalists generally rail against the so-called “health and wealth” gospels that promise prosperity to anybody who has enough faith to pretend to be an Old Testament Jew. Instead, the fundamentalists insists that financial prosperity is only for those who have enough faith to tithe like an Old Testament Jew. And you might still get sick — otherwise we would have nothing to talk about during prayer request time on Wednesday Night.
Along with this promise of the windows of heaven opening up a blessing upon modern day tithers there also is a warning that if a person does not tithe that God will make his car break down or his dog die or visit some other calamity upon him of equal or greater value than his tithe. Of course, none of these things ever happen to tithers. Ever.
It’s quite a reality check when hard economic times come and affect both the tither and non-tither alike. It seems the rain really does fall upon the just and the unjust alike. Not that you’ll ever hear that verse used in a tithing sermon.
So bring your tithes into the storehouse and give of the first fruits of your labor. Only don’t try giving actual fruit. We prefer cash in small unmarked bills.