I love you, and that’s why I hate you.
I’m totally separated from the world so I can reach the world.
I’m have a mind that is so chaste and pure that I constantly obsess about sin and impurity
I’m humble and I’m so proud of that fact.
I have total freedom in these chains.
I need only the treasure laid up in heaven for me so give me your tithes and offerings here and now.
I am at peace in Jesus so I fight endlessly with those in Church.
I study to show myself approved through honorary doctorates and fake degrees.
I have the joy of the Lord which is why I’m so angry.
I’m am your servant leader which is what makes you my slave.
I am a fundamentalist who can’t remember the last time I actually cared about, talked about, or preached about the real fundamentals.