78 thoughts on “Story Tapes”

      1. Oh, agreed! That stuff… I wouldn’t buy them simply because that artwork is so bad! I’d be embarrassed to have them in my house, no matter how good the tapes were.

        1. We do; hubby has LOTS of tapes still. And we did when our kids were young enough for this kind of thing. Thank God they’re far too old now!

    1. And how the Bible character seems to be more important. (It’s larger; it’s in the foreground, and the eye is drawn to it first.) 😕

      1. In pictures 1, 2 & 4, it could be a bra, bowtie, or propeller. In picture 3, it’s definitely “the tube top of righteousness”. Sounds like either Miss Holy Bible or whoever writes fundy dress codes has some ‘splainin’ to do!

        1. The tube top of righteousness, the board shorts of truth, and the sideways baseball cap of salvation.

    1. It looks like a propeller to me.
      Which raises many more questions than it answers, but hey, I didn’t draw the thing.

      And by the way, since the book opens the wrong way (on the left, where the spine should be), shouldn’t the double label read “Holy Quran Holy Quran” or “Holy Talmud Holy Talmud”?

      Art students, if drawing a book stumps you, you may want to think about other careers.

  1. Holy Bible–the anthropomorphic book so nice, they put his name on him twice.

    I like the literal interpretation of “fiery darts” in Holy Bible Goes to Battle. Vocabulary fail.

    1. It’s such a cute harmless looking little Bible. Who would throw darts at it?

      Arg. Such confusion.

  2. Are these new or something from the past?

    Agreed. The Bible looks like it’s wearing a Bra.

    1. Because the words “Holy” and “Bible” on top are definately the eyebrows so that makes the lower words….?

        1. A bowtie? Hmmm ok…
          So that would answer my question if its something modern or something from the past. Wait, no. No it wouldn’t. Fundies are in a time machine and can’t get out.

    1. I know, you might have to trade in your eight-track player before you could even listen to what Holy Bible Holy Bible says.

        1. Hey, careful with the Barney stuff. My daughter sang on that show. My heartfelt apologies to all.. 😕

        2. Hey, which one was your daughter? My son watches all the old Barney shows on Netflix. He’s only 17 months old, but he loves them!

  3. I still love audio books. Listen to them non stop, they are fantastic! It all started for me with adventures in Odessey. Ah the good ol’ days.

    1. That’s what I thought it was. Even the creators of Psalty thought twice about making the bible and singing dancing character. Geez.

    2. I remember Salty. The cartoon book was scary to me though…a book that speaks and has feelings….

    3. I had one tape of Psalty when I was a kid. I loved it! Actually, I loved any tape that had music.

      1. we weren’t allowed to have Psalty. . .too liberal. Even Patch the Pirate was pushing it.

        1. To clarify, we were allowed to have Patch, but some of the songs were a little questionable. . .hymns were preferable. 😉

        2. I remember my mom didn’t like some of the patch the pirate songs … the villain songs, in particular. She said they “glorified evil.” Unfortunately, those were my favorite songs on the tapes.

      1. I did too, I thought the production values on the tapes were pretty good. I also remember there was a touring show that came to our church with a guy in a giant Psalty costume. It was actually a pretty good show. The songs were really catchy too.

  4. judging by the colour of Holy’s nose in 2 & 4, he’s either in the advanced stages of alcoholism or has developed a nasty little cocaine &/or meth habit. are those fiery darts or syringes?

  5. Why is the “Mourner” smiling?

    And (need I say it?) where in the Bible is the “Santa Gets Saved” story?

  6. Clicking on the picture brings you such gems as the “Bath Room Budy” & “King James Worship Songs”. Would that be worship of the KJV, or worship of King James himself?

    1. I saw that immediately! I assume it’s worshipping King Jimmy himself. Says nothing about version or God, and is a self link which almost makes even less sense than worshipping KJ.

    2. “Bathroom Budy”…is that a play on words? They couldn’t bring themselves to call it Bathroom Booty?

  7. Clicked the “order here” link and got this message “Thank you for your order. Your order will be mailed promptly.” Not bad considering I didn’t actually order anything, pay anything or give my address.I think this has to be the winner of best website of the year!

  8. Isn’t this just a hyper-fundy version of Psalty? Poorer quality, and less loving?

  9. Square Teletubbie??
    So is the red marker hanging below his waistline carry the same significance as the length of a belt hanging down below the waist?

  10. Hmmm…I just checked out the bathroom ❓ budy ❓ (their misspelling, not mine!) link to see what that was…sounded pretty suspicious to me. Anyway, I got a huge laugh by clicking the link, and then clicking on “travholder” and scrolling to the bottom of. Wouldn’t you be so proud to have those things hanging from the front window of your car? Who needs the bobbing head dogs when you’ve got Park A Brush Jr? 😯 🙄 :mrgreen:

    1. What’s Bath Room Budy (sic) doing on the same page with the singing Holy Bible Holy Bible?

      1. And why does Holy Bible Holy Bible need a toothbrush holder? He/she doesn’t have teeth. Or does he/she?

  11. We all know the people in the Bible were white. And Jesus was white too, and middle class, and a republican.

  12. I’m looking forward to the release of the daughters edition with such lovely songs as “Lot’s Daughters” and “Japheth’s Daughter”. Or the book of Leviticus edition with such classics as “Sell your Daughter into Slavery” and “How to Sacrifice a Cow to the Lord” 😆

  13. I don’t get why so many people say “I covet your prayers.”, when the bible says not to covet. What the heck does “I covet your prayers” even mean?!

  14. I don’t get why so many people say “I covet your prayers.”, when the bible says not to covet. What the heck does “I covet your prayers” even mean?! 😕

  15. Proof that in some fundy circles, creativity is a foreign concept.

    Wonder how much the royalty checks would be considering the character is such a blatant Psalty rip-off.

  16. The “Be” Attitudes cartoonists clearly admire the June Lockhart school of acting.

  17. These tapes were from some time back, though I’m sure they’re still for sale. I know the pastor personally who created the tape series, invented the “Park A Brush”, etc… He’s a good guy, with a heart for God, who’s doing his best to supplement his income with the tapes and various products that he has come up with. His goal is to be as self-sufficient as possible in order to free up the resources of the church he pastors for use in outreach instead of salary (and his salary is minimal as it is). That’s a worthy goal, I think.

    His primary focus is on his church and in training others to share the Gospel, the products he sells are done on the side in his spare time. His heart is solid gold. Sure, when you personally do all the parts of creation and production of a product things are going to look rough (ok, really rough), but of all of the fundies out there that deserve a good laugh, I really don’t think he’s one of them. His passion for Jesus and God’s Word would put many of us to shame. I rest my case.

  18. Random post FTW!

    I remember these tapes from when I was a kid. One of the guys I knew during my time at a fundy ‘college’ was one of the child actors in at least one of the stories (not sure which one). I think some/all of the recording was also done at his father’s sound studio. Small world.

  19. Oh my goodness, I had these tapes when I was really young. I thought they were cool back then lol

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