124 thoughts on “Channeling Billy Sunday”

  1. Whoa! By the time I find out there’s been a new post, there are usually 1239^3 messages!

    But excuse me, I need to go to Walmart. I just remembered my friend drank the last of my beer while watching the super bowl.

        1. nogschense.. shitsnot 5 o… 5 o? bookem danno.. I mean schnot 5, paffoooie go for it. Schome one took a grapfrooot an war it lick, like a hat, I shaw sumone under the kit..kitshc…kittn oh look a kitschy, kitchen talbe, tab-bby, table talkin to the ol tomscat. Ossifer I’m not shas fink as shoo drunk I kam. 😯

    1. It’s an actual video? Well, yes, I don’t think we could watch it if it wasn’t.
      I like the way they did it in old-fashioned, sepia-toned, black and white. Color movies are a sign of liberalism, amen?

    2. I’ve never heard Kidd preach (the people in the audience haven’t either, not by my definition of preaching) but I recognize “The Drinking Room” from a tape my folks had. It was an old tape 20 years ago, when he was younger. He was a lot louder and more abrasive then, if you can believe it. Maybe it was a bad recording (the sound here isn’t much better) but his voice was much higher.

    1. I don’t belive it for one second. Listen to him tell the story, that little boy had quite the vocabulary. Plus, how would he know all the specific details of that family’s life? Himself being just a boy.

    2. What’s not believable about a preacher being able to magically view both inside and outside the bar simultaneously whilst superhumanly remembering the little boy’s multi-paragraph conversation word for word?
      However, the preacher left out a somethign that the boy said that fateful day :
      “Daddy, you need to cease purchasing intoxicating beverages in order to divert said capital towards funding your 401K. It’s never to early to think about your retirement. I would recommend a high yield Roth IRA. Don’t beat me daddy!”
      ( Actual words that the boy spoke. Just ask Reverend Kidd.)
      It seems that the preacher can remember events that never took place. Hallelujah!

    1. Brandon – Exactly! I believe the zero-tolerance fundy preaching against alcohol is one of the “reasons” why the problem of alcoholism is as bad as it is in the U.S. – again the MOG jerking out of context a handful of scriptures (virtually none in this instance) kinda like how when you put a sign up that says “wet paint, don’t touch” you just can’t keep from testing it. I believe the same principle applies to the fundy’s wrong teaching on tithing. I believe if the proper teaching of new testament giving was taught in our churches, instead of the mandatory “tithe,” I believe the churches would never have money problems.

      As new testament christians we are free in Christ, “Whom the Lord sets free is free indeed” and when anyone attempts to force us under a law, we seem to naturally rebel against it.

  2. So how is this…likker(?) he speaks of affecting us again? A quick check of WHO data shows us ranked 34th in liquor consumption behind such slovenly juke-joints as Germany, the U.K., Spain, Switzerland…or roughly the entirety of western Europe plus Australia & New Zealand (2003 chart on Alcohol Consumption). Of course, I’m sure this fine MOG is using another, more Godly metric to measure (and condemn) poor backslidden’ Amurika…

    1. If he had actually witnessed that accident, he would have needed psychiatric counseling. I know an EMT who saw the aftermath of a semi hitting a van of teenagers. The accident haunted him. The semi driver was hospitalized, and not for his physical injuries.

      This sermon is straight out of the Temperance era. It doesn’t even appear to have been updated for a modern audience.

      Who else is channeling, with his falsetto screeches? Michael Jackson?

      1. I couldn’t stomach the whole thing. Whatever the “witnessed the aftermath” thing is, I would guess he drove by a clearly fatal accident, and embellished a bit.

      2. “….he would have needed psychiatric counseling…..”

        Who says he doesn’t need it? :mrgreen:

        But it certainly isn’t from witnessing an accident 1st hand like that. I call BS on that story just like the little boy story. Interesting, according to him not only is he comforting (witnessing to?)a dying teenager, he is also inspecting each of the injuries AND counting the distance that a boot traveled.

        Fictional accident scene:

        Phil Kidd – Step away everyone. I’ll take it from here.
        Bystander – Oh. Are you a trained EMT?
        Phil Kidd – No but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

      3. This sounds awful familiar to a scene that was in the movie “The Apostle” where the fundy preacher, played by Robert Duvall, happens on a terrible accident and goes to one of the injured and is giving them the gospel before they die.

        It’s a pretty good movie, as I recall. Wonder if Kidd saw it?

  3. bahahahahaha, so he actually witnessed the dramatic tale of the drunk daddy, the poor little boy, and the beer joint? and the story of the teenagers flipping their truck? or maybe he’s just as full of crap as every other evangelist. what a joke these people are.

  4. I knew of an independent Baptist church once-ah
    And in it was an old fashioned Baptist preacher-ah
    And this preacher was screwing members of his congregagtion-ah
    And was destroying people’s marriages-ah
    NOW LISTEN HERE!
    I TELL YOU RIGHT NOW-ah!
    It’s these fundamental Baptist preachers that are destroying our homes-ah
    And dragging our country to hell-ah
    YOU LISTEN TO ME!
    Stay out of those churches-ah
    They may look all sexy like on the oustide-ah
    With girls in their jean jumpers-ah
    But inside there are dens of iniquity-ah
    A disgrace to God-ah
    The instrumets of a wicked devil-ah…blah blah blah

    1. Dad, does oneflewoutofthecuckoosnets’s post really mean that all IFB churches are bad?

      Of course not, son. Just because there are some bad pastors and abusers of authority doesn’t mean that they are all bad. That’s just stupid talk.

      But then why does Dr. Kidd say all drinking is bad because some people abuse it?

      You need to get saved, talkin’ like that.

      Again? Ok. Dear Jesus…

    2. Jesus didn’t drink wine, did he dad?

      No son, of course not. Don’t indite our savior by saying things like that.

      He only drank grape juice, right?

      Heymen.

      Dad, the authorized 1611 King james Version is God’s perfect, inspired Word, right?

      That’s right son.

      And every word it translates is absolutely perfect, just as God wanted it, right?

      Preach it, son.

      Then why does it use the word “wine”, when it was really grape juice? That’s kinda confusing.

      That’s the devil talkin’, son. You need to get saved.

      Ok dad. Dear Jesus…

  5. A manipulative, self absorbed gasseous windbag. Scheisskopf! (And to label him as such slanders scheiss in all it’s various forms.) His head has been embedded in there soo long now it is ingrown.

    I want nothing to do with the god this pompous pseudo-religious prostitute pimps.

    Maybe one day I’ll not be so subtle about describing manipulative cult con artists.

  6. Sounded more like he was channeling Matt Foley

    “You’ll have a lotta time for drinking beer, when you’re livin’ in a van, down by the river”

    “You believe having a glass of wine with dinner is A-ok dad, well, la di fricking da!”

    “I’m a motivational speaker” – must be, cause that aint preachin’ if you don’t use the Word!

  7. Correct me if I wrong, but he assumes the boy dying in the wreck was unsaved. Am I understanding this correctly? So once we are saved, we are perfect little, sinless robots? Wonder where those scriptures are to support that idea? The same place, perhaps, that the rest of the non-existent scriptures were to support this 10 minute rant.

  8. Would someone please explain to me why IFBs think that this sort of histrionic, anachronistic preaching is going to actually APPEAL to anyone. Kidd is a caricature not only of himself but of every loudmouthed, loopy evangelist that ever walked a pulpit platform. It’s obvious he’s preaching to the choir (note the frequent Hay-mens!); non-Christians would just feel they’re getting yelled at. Justifiably, I might add.

    1. Go sit in one of his meetings. Watch the people, the kids especially. The manipulation techniques he uses are worthy of clinical analysis. The spirit that fills his meetings is scary, and I mean that in a literal biblical sense. Leave one of his shows and you will have a better perspective of 1930’s Germany and how evil can rise to power through the manipulation and appeal of words and sentiments.

      1. Indeed. Aggrieved is a word to describe National Socialism. The Weimar Republic, the Treaty of Versailles, and, above all, the Jews had caused grievous harm to Germans.

        Now, if you can last 10 minutes, listen to Glenn Beck.

        1. ?? hungh?? I was thinking more on the lines of Joseph Goebbels. And how Kidd uses manipulative propaganda techniques to psychologically prepare the audience to accept his particular aganda.

          (You know, the same thing all politicians have used through out time in order to come to power.)

  9. I didn’t have any beer since Tuesday. This sermon compelled me to buy a six pack of Natty Light. He should have not created this stumbling block for me, a weaker brother an all.

    Reminds me of the last sermon I listened to when I was in NC…all anecdotes, no scripture. Propoganda!

  10. Wow, that’s sumkinda preachin’, amen?
    I’m sort of fascinated by the way his voice shoots up about three octaves on certain key words:
    SAVIOR.

    “Jesus didn’t come to be a drunk, he came to be our ^

    1. I say we play this again during SFL cocktail hour. Everybody take a sip every time he says “likker,” and chug a drink whenever he says “beer joint.”

  11. There are of course, some very good reasons not to drink alcohol, especially if you have a family history (or a personal history) of alcoholism.
    Unfortunately, he doesn’t mention any of the good reasons here. He just tells horror stories instead.

  12. “Dr.” Kidd, please read Colossians:

    Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.

    Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings.

    Of course this is the NIV and just perversion.

  13. Most anything God gives to us for a blessing can be misused/abused and end up causing us grave problems.

    1) alcoholic beverages
    2) sex
    3) drugs
    4) food
    5) wisdom
    6) curiousity

    All of the above, if misused can cause big problems.

    Balance is the key to properly utilizing the good things that God allows in our lives.

    1. Just because some pagans worship the sun doesn’t mean we ought to pluck it out of the sky.

      Psalm 104:14-15 He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man: that he may bring forth food out of the earth; And wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil to make his face to shine, and bread which strengtheneth man’s heart.

      (That’s from the KJV, amen?)

  14. What about the kidsah going to bed without a daddyah who died of a heart attacka because he wouldn’ta step awaya from the buffeta! Why doesn’t Golden Corrala put thata in their commercialsa?! 😕

    1. If there were actually a message there, I’d lament the fact that they didn’t also record the sound in “HD” … but since there’s nothing to hear, I don’t really care that the sound quality sucks. I only listened for a minute, anyway.

  15. Actually, I think this is a great deterrent to drinking. If a hangover is half as bad as listening to a Phil Kidd rant, I don’t think I ever want to get drunk.

  16. Please don’t move me again Natalie to the other side of the church. I need time to acclimate to a pew. Just becasue someone looks at you sideways, here we go again to the other side.
    Good people of SFL, I am begging for your help. The trauma I face of moving is too much to bear. I am still not over the time she took me home. I can’t erase from my memory what I saw.

    😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆

    1. There is nothing worse than a whiney butt cushion. What you need is someone to beat the farts out of you real good. So quit your whining or I’ll talk to HF about putting a woopie cushion in you too.

      Ungrateful little butt pad. 🙄 😆

    2. Okay, to my darling butt cushion (which, seriously, I have no idea who this is, but you’ve just made my whole day and I love you already), you know darn well that you sat and were entertained with what you saw at home. And, you were happy that I stitched up your corner.

      We’ve been together a long time. I think you’re just mad because I moved you away from PW’s butt cushion which we all KNOW you had a crush on.

      1. Oh Natalie, don’t embarass me. I do like PW’s cushion but I was made for one thing only. And that is to protect your tender parts from the hard unforgiving church pew. When you sit on me, you complete me. :mrgreen:

      2. Oh, my! How did I miss this exchange? I have gained a cushion and my cushion gained – and lost – an admirer!

        I now have another item for the SFL store: butt cushions! They could be monogrammed with SFL, allowing the uninitiated to think those are our initials and wondering why they’ve been calling us Betty Mae all these years, but for those who read SFL, they would be our own 21st century fish symbol to identify ourselves with others of like faith and practice. 😎

  17. Ah yes, another one of Mr. Kidd’s highly believable stories. Anyone here ever taken a class on the structure of story? Kidd’s stories fit perfectly into the category of story framework. They are undeveloped, beginnings of an idea. The reason good (fictional) stories are good stories is that they move beyond the framework. Kidd’s stories have all the markings of a fictional story that has failed to be developed. If these stories were real, there would be a noticeable depth to important details. Instead, Kidd’s stories sound like classic urban legends, which thrive because of their lack of detail. The emptiness of the urban legend allows us to psychologically fill in details that aren’t there. Kidd’s stories are nothing more than moral lessons designed to scare the hearer into a behavior. It’s like the killer with the hook for a hand who kills the couple in the car in the woods. The story is meant to scare teens into not parking in the woods together.

    1. You are absolutely correct that Kidd is retailing urban legends here. I was thinking that even before you said it. What I was thinking was that it would be very interesting to try to trace the history of various unconfirmable sermon illustration stories– let’s call them Sermon Legends– in the way that Jan Harold Brunvand and his followers have done with other urban legends.

      Here’s Dr. Brunvand’s web site, by the way:
      http://www.janbrunvand.com/

    1. Oh, please run for President, Phil Kidd! Please, please, PLEASE!

      And don’t worry about running up a campaign debt of a few hundred million dollars. It’s totally worth it. Besides, God will provide.

  18. So…where exactly is this drinking room he screams of? I think I need to go there after listening to this. I’ll try not to let too many flies in when I open the screen door.

    If I was driving a Greyhound bus and saw the bodies of teenagers spontaneously flying across the highway, self-filating in the process, I’d for sure need to go to the drinking room.

    My fav part of this is how it’s been salowng since he heard a babdist preacher DAM alcohol and booowzuh. Is it just me or did he enjoy saying DAM just a little too much?

  19. I don’t understand why he and his dad sat on the front porch and watch a child get abused so severely.
    Messages like this give me “flashbacks” of sermons heard from years ago with stirring, emotional illustrations absent of the Word of God.

  20. “I’ve seen the sexy ladies with their big glasses of whiskey!” – No he hasn’t. For multiple reasons.

    1. Nobody drinks a big glass of whiskey.
    2. Even if they did, a bar doesn’t serve them.
    3. There is nothing sexy about a woman with a Mason jar full of whiskey.

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