199 thoughts on “Fundy Facebook Status Of The Week”

    1. Oh no Bro!

      Not me! In fact, I already have my costume picked out and have already been to a haunted corn maize 🙂

      Sunday is the Lord’s Day though, so on that day I will be celebrating the Resurrection and Reformation Sunday!

        1. Lutherans celebrate Reformation Day and they’re not Calvinists. Of course, John is neither…

  1. I wore purple last week and I support the Day of Silence. I’m not sure if that’s celebrating gays but I do hope I’m showing some support.
    I am so glad I’m free of that cowardly life.

      1. Oh yes, because it’s so Christlike and holy to continue bullying people who do something you don’t like to the point of desperation and suicide. 🙄

        1. I think that was a joke by John, but you have to really work to see it, and it could use a lot of work/tweaking.

        2. It’s one thing not to bully, it’s another thing to support. For example, a woman who has had an abortion need not to be ostracized (as the manner of some is to do), but she shouldn’t be praised for it either.

        3. I support putting bullies of all types in their place. Period.

          BTW, did you do that you do not actually have to be gay to be bullied for it? All you need is an accusation, no matter how baseless it may be. I’ve had to deal with it. A rumor got started by someone who didn’t like the fact that I’m *gasp* pro-life, and I started getting all these harassing messages asking if I was really into this and that… uh, no. Turned out my main harasser was as untreated bipolar as it got, but it doesn’t help when dealing with the mess she left behind.

          (BTW, being pro-life does not equal hating gays. One of the most amazing groups out there is Pro-Life Alliance of Gays and Lesbians. Even when I was still a dedicated Fundy, I had to acknowledge that these people had some serious courage to be who they were and risk ostracism from both sides.)

        4. Yes. An acquaintance of mine had an abortion and was very traumatized. Ostracizing her would not have been the right thing to do.

        1. to be fair, it is extremely hard to get jokes across through an online media. and hard to pick up on jokes. it is a really messy form of communication

        2. “Those of us who are endowed with the dangerous gift of humour have need, sometimes, to stop and take the word out of our mouth and look at it, and see whether it is quite to edification.”

          Charles Haddon Spurgeon

        3. I like that quote. I should start putting it into practice.
          One of the best pieces of wisdom I got from a friend was that the best way to save face is to keep the lower half of it shut. I’m working at that one too.

      2. @John: I think wearing purple is a sign that you are against [i]bullying[/i] gay people, not a sign that you are against anyone who[i]disagrees[/i] with the homosexual lifestyle.

  2. How much you wanna bet that person’s church has a Harvest Festival with kids dressing up as Bible characters and getting candy …

      1. “Trunk or treat”?
        Please explain.
        I get that maybe tricks are of the Devil or something, so fundies won’t say “trick,” but why “trunk”?

        1. “Trunk or treat” is one of the phrases used with the Fall Festivals to describe the Christianized alternative to trick-or-treat. Instead of the little church kids going out knocking on the doors of strangers or the unsaved to get their treats, the people at the church drive up, have their candy in the trunks of their cars, and the kids go around to load up. Weird, but that’s how it’s happening.

        2. Because church members open up the trunks of their car(especially easy when it’s a minivan) which many times they’ve decorated, and they have candy stored back there which they hand out to the children who walk by. It’s not much exercise walking around a parking lot, but one I went to last year was really fun. The trunks were decorated in really imaginative ways (one had a “grill” back there with fake flames and he was dressed as the Burger King king. He was giving out those gummy candy hamburgers and hotdogs. Attenders could vote on the best trunk.

        3. Well, that’s just wrong. Grammatically, I mean.
          If the treats are in the trunks, it doesn’t make sense to say, “Trunk OR Treat.” It should be “Trunks OF Treats,” of “Treats In the Trunks.”

    1. So true! I had a friend just last night that was all 😯 that I planned to take my children trick or treating! :gasp: Of course, being holier than me, she is taking her kids to a CHURCH Harvest Fest instead! 🙄 I nearly laughed in her face! 😆

      1. I do them both: take my kids to the closest megachurch’s “Trunk or Treat” a few days before Halloween then trick or treat in the neighborhood. Our family dentist loves me. I’m making up for a childhood of passing out little baggies of candy and a Gospel tract to the wicked little heathen knocking at our door on Halloween while secretly wishing that I could dress up in costume and go door to door.

    1. No, and quite frankly sometimes we don’t want to admit that he bats for our team. There’s gay, and then there’s CRAZYYY! 😀

    2. One time, I found out Richard Simmons was going to be at the Southern Women’s Show. I specifically planned to be there right when he was going on because… hey, the heckling could be a riot, right?


      I wound up coming face-to-face with a genuinely decent and caring person. Not a trace of phony in him. Crazy? Oh, you bet. Completely so. But he’s the real deal. I came in planning to heckle and walked out a fan. Not many people have that effect on me.

      Found out later that he had planned to go into the priesthood at one time. Even now, he behaves with his clients and fans much like one would expect a good minister to do.

      (He put on a hilarious show, too. Definitely worth going that night.)

        1. S’OK. I wouldn’t have believe it if I hadn’t seen him for myself. 🙂

          BTW, he’s also one of the few workout gurus who has a workout video for people with limited mobility. Major props to him for that!

        2. I love Richard Simmons! He is wacky and all but I do think he has done a lot of good for a segment of our society that most people wouldn’t give the time of day to.

      1. I knew the fundies had to be right about something! I figured it would be annual on Halloween, but every 9 months seems very likely too! Lol!

      2. This gives new meaning to “Quiver Full”
        (was in the neighborhood and couldn’t resist a quick comment)

  3. Dressing up like Bible characters works until someone wants to come as Rahab the harlot or Adam and Eve. 😳

  4. Yeah, the family and I celebrate Satan’s b’day every year by sending the kids out to collect candy…It was worse at one time. My first year in Bible College I dressed up as Satan Clause for the kids in the day room…a few of the more “surrendered” men had fits…I thought it was fun.

  5. Cause everyone knows the next step after taking your child trick or treating ti to take them to the gay pride parade.

    1. Yulp every Halloween party I’ve ever been to had a required gay pride parade immediately afterwards. Always just assumed, unannounced too!

    2. Much like the argument that allowing gay marriage will lead to people wanting to marry their pets, the furniture, or, gid forbid, a garden gnome.

  6. If you think this is funny, you should see this guy’s other facebook status updates. This one is just the tip of the iceberg. Here is a little gem he posted about perfume a month or so ago: “…I can’t honestly evaluate cologne/perfume and find anything but a self-glorifying motive for wearing the stuff (nor can you,) but it smells good.” Thus saith the rule book.

    1. Uh … I’m no expert on perfume, but isn’t the reason for wearing perfume that it smells good?

      1. Maybe it’s more glorifying to God to smell bad!

        (Or to be more serious, I guess smelling like nothing at all.)

    2. I think we could argue Biblically that we wear cologne in order to not be like Lazarus after he had been in the tomb 4 days for “Lord, by this time he stinketh.”

    3. Well, it is said that religious ascetics of old never bathed (in order not to glorify the flesh, you see), and thus had about them what was called “the odor of sanctity.”
      I’m not making this up.

      1. I’m sorry, I do not understand your reasoning. Therefore, it is an abomination. I will be praying for you wicked sinners who have gone astray and actually looked into Biblical customs, and put passages in context. I would be renting my garments right now if it wouldn’t cause others to lust after me. I don’t want to be a stumbling block for you to backslide afterall…

        1. I’m sorry, but what exactly is a George? I am sure it is sinful, but you have peaked this “Dr’s”* ears none the less. Give me enough information to make an outline for a sermon too, I don’t want to do too much research. I will throw in some Leviticus and wham-bam-thank you ma’am, I have Sunday sermon #3!

          *honorary, self-appointed

    4. If All Saints’ Day Eve is Satanic
      and if Cologne/perfume is self-aggrandizing,
      Why is this individual on Facebook?

      Isn’t facebook just an outlet for extreme narcissists suffering from severe delusions of grandeur where people actually care what one says in his status?

      1. It is the outlet for one of two types:
        1)The Extreme narcissist (as you pointed out); or
        2)The Extremely nosy who want to keep up with everybody they can

        Either way, it is the right place for a lot of Fundies to go and be unhappy about all the sin that others are in.

        1. True that. I already did some spring cleaning of my “friends” list in anticipation of Christmas and having a wall full of links to “Santa = Satan” stuff. The fact I now don’t have to read them rant about halloween is an added bonus.

    5. I have a fundie FB friend, too. I’d say it was snark worthy- but she’s actually teaching her quiver of children that God is full of wrath and they better search themselves constantly and hate their sin or He will send them to Hell. 😥

  7. The funny thing is that these people have no idea about church history. October 31 is the most important day in church history since Pentecost. If not for Luther nailing his theses to the church door in Wittenburg, this website wouldn’t exist because their would be no fundies.

    My Reformed take on Halloween is simple. Let the kids have their fun. Our neighborhood has chosen to do everything Saturday night, which is fine, but I’m indifferent.

    I do, however have a problem with the adult costume section being three times larger than the children’s section.

    1. If not for Luther nailing his theses to the church door in Wittenburg, this website wouldn’t exist because their would be no fundies.

      Then again, they just might, because according to themselves, people like the Cathars were Fundies, too. And if–in this alternative universe–that was in fact the case, and the Reformation never happened, that means Fundies would be called heretics, and liable to investigation by the Inquisition. Carry this fantasy as far as you like. 😉

  8. To the Facebook Writer, you know, if you’re so quick to assume anyone trick-or-treating is celebrating Satan, I wonder how much longer before most Christians are burning trick-or-treaters at the stake? (Oh, this game is fun! 🙄 )

    1. It’s not so far from assuming that anyone who says “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” hates Jesus and wants to ban Christmas.

  9. I’m glad you posted this, Darrell. I’d forgotten to pick out a Pro-Abortion Day costume.

    Have you done something about the non sequitur? Because Fundies don’t just like them, they love them.

  10. I’ve actually been to gay pride events. And I’d imagine that most Christians are taught to avoid P-Town on the cape.

    Anyway like most things what halloween once was is no longer. People have a fascination in the macabre, that doesn’t make them satan worshipers. Halloween is what you make it. I choose to make it good old fashion fun and an excuse to dress up. No devil worship here.

  11. Every Halloween I post “Happy Birthday, Satan” on my Facebook profile. Sometimes to the best way to deal with absurdity is with more absurdity.
    Is it okay to dress up as Christine O’Donnell for the Harvest Festival?

      1. Need to edit out the 1st amendment to the constitution, and probably start editing the 13th, 14th amendment, and repeal the 19th. 🙂 :mrgreen:

  12. I’ve always wanted to have a bunch of gay men and lesbians go to the BJU Museum and Art Gallery. Since they take government money for the M & G, they can’t deny admission to anybody.

    1. I’ve always thought this would be fun. Up the entertainment value by ooohing and ahhhing over all the gratuitous nudity in many of the paintings. We could make the tour guide very uncomfortable. :mrgreen:

    2. When my sister was in college (at a normal, secular school) her class went to the BJU art gallery. After the tour some of the professors sat outside smoking and using non-BJU approved language for the sheer fun of it and enjoyed the uncomfortable people watching. 😈

      1. Those professors sound so mature. It’s so reassuring to know people of such sound judgment and civility are in charge of educating young people. Using crude language to purposely offend people is highly intolerant. (I’m posting this at risk of sounding like a tut-tutting old fogey. I understand the desire of former students to go back to BJU and hold hands or wear jeans or kiss on the Bridge of Nations — that bridge isn’t there anymore, is it? — but I have no patience for profanty.)

    3. To the best of my knowledge, this has, indeed, happened. They group was welcomed as was any other group, but they could not leave or pass out any of the literature they had brought with them.

  13. Fortunately, I grew up during the 1950s before someone discovered that Halloween was an abomination. This whole thing reminds me of when Dan Quayle attacked Murphy Brown until someone explained to him that Murphy Brown wasn’t real. But the height of hypocrisy is the churches weren’t just satisfied to ruin the traditional Halloween and its door-to-door trick or treating. Now they’ve totally taken it over with their invitation for everyone to come to the church parking lot for “trunk or treat.” Takes all the fun out of it. Me – I’m staying home with the porch light on handing out candy to the apostates.

  14. Wow. Who knew that I was worshipping Satan by buying a couple of bags of candy for any kids that might stop by for trick-or-treat? Guess I’m going to have to eat it myself to save face.

    1. Same here, I’m just an evil, rotten human being because I think kids in cute costumes should get a piece of candy.

        1. What an excellent articel! THank you for posting it.
          Wish someone in fundyland would repritn this–maybe Sword of the Lord
          (It will never happen, but it would be nice if tit did!)

        2. Not sure I agree with the article completely, but I really was interested in this: “What is the means by which the demonic realm is vanquished? In a word: mockery. Satan’s great sin (and our great sin) is pride. Thus, to drive Satan from us we ridicule him . . . Similarly, on All Hallows’ Eve (Hallow-Even – Hallow-E’en – Halloween), the custom arose of mocking the demonic realm by dressing children in costumes. Because the power of Satan has been broken once and for all, our children can mock him by dressing up like ghosts, goblins, and witches. The fact that we can dress our children this way shows our supreme confidence in the utter defeat of Satan by Jesus Christ – we have NO FEAR!”

          I have no fear, and our family does go trick-or-treating, but I’m still not willing to have my kids dress as witches or demons.

        3. Neat article… enjoyed it.

          But he is in error that to defeat Satan we mock him… the Scripture tells us that we are to resist the devil, and he will flee from us, not mock him.

          It is quite true that we do not need to fear the devil, but that doesn’t mean we should have “NO FEAR” – Jesus Christ Himself told us that we should “Fear God”.

        4. Very interesting article and I appreciate the attitude. Even though it is severely lacking any references I think the attitude that symbolisms can mean currently other than what they meant historicly is a good one. Many of his assertions could use some documentation though.
          Hmmm… I have to wonder what attitude God would have toward using an idol to Baal, that once served as a cradle to burn children alive, for a bird bath… sorry just poped into my head.

    1. My (extremely fundy) church celebrates Halloween. I have never understood that: they’re so opposed to “the world,” and yet have parties for the kids and haunted mazes for the teenagers and college students (separate times of course, can’t have the worldly college students messing with the academy robots!). Complete with dressed up Jokers, Freddie Krugers, Jigsaw, etc. A little odd.

        1. When I was at HAC they had a “haunted house” for the youth group. It was a billion years ago, but they were “extremely fundy” even then.

      1. I’m baffled by the hypocrisy! If one is truly separated from the world, one would not even know who Jason, Freddy, and Jigsaw are. I know I never knew any of those cultural references.

  15. Evidently, another thing fundies like is labeling people. Obviously, that makes it easier to share the love of God with them.

  16. I briefly considered dressing up as a Fundy for Halloween, but I don’t want to scare the little kids who come by trick-or-treating.

    1. I want to do this every year. But . . . it’s just too normal around here, and I don’t think I can pull it off.

      They make me tired.

    2. Manhattan on Halloween night will have the most clever costumes. Last year I was on a subway with some college guys dressed up as the character from American Psycho. Complete with suit covered in blood plattered plastic and (fake) chain saw. He even had buisness cards printed on bone card stock and a Huey Lewis CD. Fantastic.

  17. Point by point, shall we?

    “5 days until Halloween. I’ll be honest. It creeps me out”
    Riposte: Is this guy THAT paranoid? Soft?

    “But what’s even scarier is how the enemy has masterminded a way to get Christians to celebrate evil spirits, demons, imps and even the devil himself”
    Riposte: Point of order! MY kids are “celebrating” the sugar high they will be experiencing after an hour and a half of hard work and exercise!

    “How did we come so far?”
    Riposte: Hard work, cultural whoredom and not taking people like you so seriously.

    “But you know, if we’re so quick to celebrate the festivities of evil and darkness…wonder how much longer before most Chrisitans are celebrating Gay-Day and Pro-Abortion Day?”
    Riposte: First, why is collecting candy considered “celebrating festivities of evil and darkness”? Secondly, what makes you assume ‘most Christians’ are REALLY celebrating “evil and darkness”? WHO said it was “evil and darkness”? WHEN, EXACTLY is Gay-Day? (I don’t find it on my Funeral Home Calendar with the bible passages on it), WHEN EXACTLY is Pro-Abortion Day? (ditto for the same reason)

    Just to make YOUR day, when I pass out candy this year, I’m gonna blare out Ozzy Osborn “Zombie Stomp” and other OzzFest Fav’s in YOUR honor in hopes that the kiddies will shape shift into the little demons they usually are ten minutes before Trick-O-Treat starts.

    1. You know how Christians get all upset about giving out presents at Christmas… do Satanists get upset that people give out lollies at Halloween?

  18. Let me take the conversation in a different direction for a moment…
    This is a good illustration of why you shouldn’t post anything on facebook that you don’t want made public. Of course, this person might make these statements in public anyway, and thus not have a problem seeing he statement repeated. But how many of you would be comfortable with what you post on your status being deconstructed on someone else’s blog?

    1. Feel free to deconstruct anything I post in the Internet in any place you see fit.

      If I don’t mean it and am not willing to defend it, I won’t say it.

      1. Thanks Darrell. Wished more people took that position. This wasn’t meant as criticism. It was really was just a reminder. And it doesn’t apply just to blogs. This goes for politics and media as well. It’s why the profiles of public figures are usually so bland.
        Though now that i think of it… I do question the ethical rightness of re-posting someone’s fb status for deconstruction on a blog that takes a hostile position toward that person’s faith system. Not illegal by any means. But is it right? I’m not saying yes or no. Sometimes it’s good just to have the conversation.

        1. It isn’t private correspondence. There’s no implied confidence to be broken. A public message posted on a public website is fair game.

        2. Indeed. Again, not illegal. And I admit there are some variables, such as how private or public this person made their profile, is this person a public or private figure in the community, is the person an adult or a minor…
          But assuming it is a private-figure adult with a profile that can only be seen by approved friends, then I think the question is not so cut and dried.
          And please understand,this is just a conversation, not criticism.
          This private figure does have a reasonable expectation of privacy not afforded to public figures (again, assuming the above variables). But… you didn’t publish that person’s identity, so they are not tied to the comment publicly. Fair use doesn’t apply because there is no copyright, so that’s not an issue. All things considered, I would say it’s on the good side of ethical, but just barely. Again, sometimes it is healthy just to have the conversation.

        3. I think it’s necessary for those of us moving away from some IFB attitudes and positions to look at what we’ve been taught and evaluate it. And using what fundies REALLY say is much more effective than simply imagining what they might say. That way we’re attacking a straw man. This way we’re looking at what many of us used to be or were taught to be and saying, “I’m not that anymore and here’s why.”

        4. @pastorswife
          You make a valid point. But is this the best way to do that? Again, assuming this is an adult private figure with his/her profile set to private.
          It would seem more appropriate to use comments made in public by a public-profile figure such as a pastor or college leader. There is no shortage of those floating around the internet.
          I realize the following may be seen as inflammatory, but it is not meant to be: This strikes me as the kind of thing IFB-types would do. It feels like a Sword of the Lord tactic, and that’s part of what seems so disappointing about it. There is a lot of intelligent dialogue and sharp wit here. And we’re all adults here, intelligent, and I assume college educated, and capable of critical thinking. I think we can do better than ripping off someone’s fb status without giving them a chance even to defend or explain their comment.

        5. Point of order Tony: WHERE is the ethical concern for Mr. Astute Christian’s implied (or infered?)accusation that every Christian who celebrates Halloween is celebrting evil and Satan? Much less the idea that those who do are laying the groundwork to celebrate a mythical “Gay-Day” and “Pro-Abortion Day”? That’s a much greater concern than people on this board just writing him off as an uptight ass. 😛

        6. @tonyt, would it make a difference if their facebook status wasn’t private? (There are still some people out there who allow free access to their wall even if you’re not a friend.) Or if they had 500+ friends, meaning that they weren’t just airing a private opinion to a few close friends but rathing opinining to a rather large audience about the sinfulness of other Christians?

          I would have a problem with this if the person was named! But since it’s anonymous, I really don’t take issue with it, although I don’t mind considering whether it’s ethical or not. It’s been interesting to think about!

        7. @Mike
          First, as to why i would like to take the conversation in a different direction: Two answers come to mind. The first: Why not? The second is a bit more reasoned: Because we are intelligent adults who are open to other ideas, and appreciate mature conversation that challenges our thinking.
          Secondly, you were right the first time: the word you are looking for is “implied.”
          Third, I think the other 100+ comments here address the poster’s thoughts. Again, we’re all reasonable, thinking adults here. We don’t define our ethics or faith based on the IFB. We don’t justify our actions by them either.

    2. I’m reminded of Luke 12:3: “What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs.”

      I guess if an unbeliever wants to mock something I write, I must simply rejoice and pray for them. If fellow believers want to critique, I hope I can hear their point of view and be willing to change if I was in the wrong. And if it’s just a troll being mean-spirited? I guess I just shrug my shoulders and move on. (Well, I guess I should pray for trolls too!)

      1. As one who has suffered Darrell’s double standard personally, I think it is okay to discuss anything someone has put out for public viewing (though mere manners and deceny require a certain decorum and respect) but to break confidenc is just that.

    3. MEH, I have a fan club who have nothing better to do than rip apart whatever they can find from me.

      I throw them a bone from time to time and post something off the wall then giggle madly when I get reports from my friend about what is being said.


  19. I’m already getting geared up for the FB “put Christ back in Christmas” debates. You know, The War On Christmas that doesn’t exist? Happy Holidays INDEED.

  20. Wish there was a link but my inbox was flooded with this email …good to know I’m not the only one being spammed…

    The Five Scariest Things
    You Can Do This Halloween
    The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. (Proverbs 8:13)

    By Doug Phillips

    Our country is in the grip of a fear crisis. The tension because of this fear is almost palpable. There is fear over elections, fear over the economy, and fear over hundreds of other issues ranging from the environment to terrorism.

    The one fear that America is missing is a fear of the Lord. As a people, we no longer fear God. Because we do not fear God, we no longer hate evil (Proverbs 8:13).

    Instead of hating evil, Americans toy with it. We toy with holidays like Halloween that were conceived in evil and that promote the “cute-ification” of evil, whether that evil takes the form of witchcraft, sorcery, ghoulishness, or some other form of malevolent imagery paraded before our children. We laugh at the very things that the Lord describes as “abominations,” and we find ourselves obsessively fascinated by, and attracted to, all things dark.

    Yet we do not fear the Lord.

    Those who “hate evil” are very scary to a secular society that fears man more than God. They are scary because they dare to declare that there are absolute standards by which society must be governed. They are scary because, if they are successful, industries like Hollywood that make billions of dollars by promoting ungodly fear will lose their influence. They are scary because such people will not be swayed by political candidates who use fear as a tool for manipulation.

    With this in mind, I offer you the five “scariest” things you can do this Halloween:

    The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to not make light of evil. Halloween was conceived in evil and has remained a celebration that uses children to promote a fascination with darkness and superstitious fear. Simultaneously, it makes light of things that the Bible describes as evil. Stand against such things, and the world will find you very scary indeed. The fear of the Lord makes men turn from evil (Proverbs 16:6).
    The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to not be fearful. The media wants you to be afraid of everything from overpopulation to global warming. The politicians want you to be afraid of the economy and political instability. God wants you to do what is morally right, trust Him completely, and never be gripped by an ungodly spirit of fear. You can place your trust and hope for this nation in the King of Kings. Jesus said: “And I say unto you my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him” (Luke 12:4-5). Believe this, and you will be light to the world.
    The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to completely skip Halloween and remember Reformation Day. It was 493 years ago that Martin Luther nailed his world-changing 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg church. These theses included rebukes to ungodly fear and superstition. 501 years ago, sometime near October 31, a baby named John Calvin was conceived who would dedicate his life to eradicating an ungodly fear of superstitious beliefs and proclaiming the gospel of grace. His emphasis on reformation, revival, and the sufficiency of Scripture had such far-reaching implications for nations like the United States that he has been described by Christian and secular scholars alike as the true founding father of America. The Reformers did something that was very scary to the world of their day. They stood against all forms of dark superstitions which grip the minds and souls of men. It was their emphasis on the fear of the Lord and the wisdom of Holy Scripture that was used by God to liberate untold numbers of men and women. But to remember the Reformers instead of Halloween is very scary to the world. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10).
    The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to refuse to watch or allow your children to watch any of the toxic Halloween and horror films emerging from Hollywood. America’s fascination with ungodly fear has made horror the most popular and fastest-growing film genre amoung youth. When parents allow their children to toy with this genre, they promote ungodly fear, and they contribute to the fear-factories in Hollywood that prey upon the youth of our culture. Say “no” to Hollywood horror and you will be dangerously scary to the media elite. “Fear ye not me? saith the Lord: will ye not tremble at my presence….?” (Jeremiah 5:22).
    The scariest thing you can do this Halloween is to get on your knees as a mother and father and pray that the Lord will send you many, children who will fear God, not man — children who will especially shun the glorification of witchcraft, the bondage of ungodly fear, and the “cute-ification” of evil that is promoted through holidays like Halloween. Cultures that toy with evil end up being cultures of death. The Christian response is to be a people of life. That means babies. It means fearing God by honoring His command to “be fruitful and multiply.” It means remembering that the Scripture describes children as a “blessing” and a “reward.” Raise children that fear God more than man, and that will be answer enough to our Halloween- and darkness-obsessed culture; for if you trust God over your womb and commit your children to a holy education, you will be very scary to the modern world. “Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord” (Psalm 34:11).

      1. You ever notice that “making light of God” (which is what fundies usually call it when people actually have fun being a Christian) supposedly diminishes God’s power, but making light of Satan apparently increases his?

    1. The more kids these parents have, the more likely that one or more of those kids will someday be celebrating Gay Day. Statistically speaking… 😈

  21. From a relative of mine who is fundy, and who will never read this site: I made a comment on my page about how much I don’t like Office 2010, and she commented that she hadn’t watched it personally, but her pastor had preached against it a couple of weeks ago. I laughed out loud. Her statement was a comment on my status, not a status in itself, but it still fits here. Sort of.

    1. Office 2010?! 🙄 :mrgreen:

      Here is a real winner of a status that was on my homepage tonight spelling errors and all!

      “When You carry the Bible, satin gets a
      headache..when you open it, he collapses..When he sees you reading it, he faints, and when you are about to repost this message, he will try and discourage you… I defeated him I reposter… WILL YOU??????????????????”

      😯 :mrgreen: I’m sure SATIN is trembling in his boots everytime someone posts stuff about him on FB! 😆

      1. I assume SATIN is enraged when you misspell his name intentionally? Sadly, when fundies can’t spell due to poor or nonexistent education, old SATIN, most likely is thrilled. :/ 😈

  22. Halloween’s OK but I’d much rather celebrate Cheap Chocolate Day. Celebrated 3 times a year, November 1, Feburary 15 and the first Monday after Easter. Half price Hershey bars, good stuff!

    1. We celebrated Cheap Chocolate Days growing up in my IFB home. (I wish we had that fun name for them!) My mom didn’t do Easter baskets or Easter bunnies, but she was willing to buy the marked down candy afterward. So I never got a chocolate bunny on Easter morning, but I did always get one to eat a few days later. Same with Halloween – no trick-or-treating, but once that candy corn was marked down 75%, well, then we could enjoy it.

      1. Say it ain’t so: marked down demonic delights. They won’t send you all the way to Hell just 25% of the way!

      2. Isn’t that a little bit like eating meat that had been sacrificed to idols? SIN! THAT CANDY HAD BEEN DEDICATED TO SATAN!!!1

    1. I can’t speak for Pro-abortion day, but we always hand out rainbow Skittles and Starbursts for Gay Day. 😀

      1. ROFL!!! I LOVE THAT! You made me laugh loud enough my daughter came in to see what was so funny. (Of course it was too conmplicated to explain.)

    1. I think there may never have been a better example of brevity being the soul of wit than this post! 😆

  23. I recently found a copy of Jack Hyles’ Sunday School manual. In flipping through the pages of ideas for mass-mailings to increase bus route numbers, I found a flier promoting a -gasp- Halloween event. I guess old Jack was a servant of Old Jack after all….

  24. It’s been three days and I still am confused as to what makes someone a fundy or not.

    Is it the hypocrisy of not allowing your children to trick-or-treat, but then allowing them to attend a Harvest festival that makes someone a fundy?

    1. Here at SFL,

      Read for just a little while and you will see that a fundy is anybody who has higher standards than you do (in just about anything), or who beleives in taking the Bible literally (especially concerning Creation), or comes from the South, or is associated with a Bible collge, who isn’t a fan of rock n roll, beleives in having more than one Chruch service a week, or isn’t calvinist, or doesn’t drink.

      It’s a long list.


      1. I have very high standards, believe in a literal creation, and come from the South. My husband attended Biola. I attended Liberty. I am fan of rock-in-roll, but call it alternative rock. My church has more than one service, but I only go on Sunday (and I am even a pastor’s wife). I am a Calvinist and I drink on occasion when the mood strikes me. I hate Halloween. The holiday makes me sad.

        What I have deduced is the term fundy is both an insult and a compliment that can be used to cover just about any and every thing.

        1. You got it Sister. It’s use and abuse are phenomanal.

          And according to many here–not all all, but many–YOU are a fundy!

        2. If you’re not sure what a fundamentalist is…then you are not a fundamentalist. You’ve got no worries Dawn.

          Fundies know who they are. Their pastors will say statements like: “who is gonna go out and save fundamentalism?” Also, most fundies consider Calvinism heresy and NEVER even walk down the alcohol aisle (To avoid the appearance of evil)

        3. @john says the argumentative, antagonizing, sharp edged fundamentalist who spent all day yesterday defending Frank Garlock.

      2. Not so much, John. The essential characteristic of the “fundies” addressed here is their insistence on holding everyone to their personal, extra-biblical standards. It is not any of the things you mentioned per se; it is the fundamentalists’ (especially fundy leaders’) desire for control over the details of other people’s lives that we object to.

        1. Ah, the emphasis is on extra-biblical standards and holding others to those. I get it. Thanks John.

        2. @Dawn, I believe in the “fundamentals of the faith” (i.e., virgin birth of Christ, His deity, His atoning death on the cross). I am a creationist, I’ve only recently realized that listening to Casting Crowns isn’t a sin, and I don’t drink. And I love SFL!!!

          I am however SO tired of separating from EVERYONE!!! Separatism is the #1 mark of a fundamentalist it seems. Also I’m tired of using the excuse of “we must avoid the social gospel” to keep us from actually helping our community. Hypocritical, legalistic standards, isolation from our community, and some true cold-heartedness on the part of supposedly “mature and godly” believers are personally some things that started driving me out of the fundamentalist camp.

      3. WOW, John, what a way to twist stuff. Sadly, I expect it of you.


        Fundamentalism defined:

        One who has as part of their core beliefs not only the so-called Five Fundamentals, but also an obsession with separation from the world to the point of near-irrelevance. In many cases, the separation issue has become elevated even above doctrinal orthodoxy and has allowed some bizarre doctrines into their churches.

        Most of us are former Independent Fundamental Baptists. A few people are from Pentecostal and a few other groups with similar characteristics.

        What John says about many of us is wrong. While some have left Christianity entirely (and with some of the things we ended up being taught, who can blame them?), many others have remained doctrinally orthodox. Many are even quite conservative and still believe the Five Fundamentals, but have rejected the obsessive separation and the resulting oddities of Fundamentalist culture.

    2. A fundamentalist is anyone who thinks, preaches, and promotes sanctification through works and outward actions as opposed to developing a relationship with Christ and continuing in the faith. It is all about the outward appearance, the things YOU do, and how horrible of a person you are.
      At least that is how I define a fundie.

      1. “as I define it”…or also as Jesus defined it. 😮 Those who promoted sanctification by works and emphasized the outward appearance weren’t called fundies in the Bible, they were called Pharisees.

    3. I’ll always say Fundamentalism is the self-assured confidence in your own correctness and the overwhelming need to bend everyone to your “correct” view point that it drives you (them/a person) to incessant unstoppable urge to compel others to follow them lock step, and any deviation to be called out as not just different but EVIL.

    4. Dawn, just remember that this website is satire. It is not be taken too seriously. Many of the commenters have very deep psychological scars from their time in fundyland. This site helps in the healing process.
      If you take what is said here too seriously, you’ll end up like John.

  25. Obsession with rules (what you wear, what you eat, what you sing, ad infinitum) is certainly part of the Fundy mentality, but I think an equally important part is the constant focus on sin, evil, and punishment instead of on God’s goodness and the love for each other that Christ taught us. To put it in theological language, fundamentalism is stuck on judgment rather than emphasizing justification and sanctification through grace.

    1. “All religion ever made of me
      Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet –
      It never set me free!” (Jason Gray)

  26. I sure am seeing a lot of those devilish emoticons ( 😈 ) on here! Satan must truly be at work amonst you all!!! 😀

  27. Do you realize just how MANY sermon illustrations we are providing John? In a way, we are providing him a service in that he can report back to his congregation (with a sigh, of course)just how many are “falling away” in these last days, etc.

  28. Hey I’m the guy who posted the initial FB post that we’re having…um…fun with. While I can’t say that it’s all been very glorifying to God, I can say that I don’t percieve that any of u r being hateful and all that. So that’s good. But one thing is for sure — we are quite different! However, please consider this: Most of you would be very quick to condemn my “narrow-minded” attitude and what many people would consider to be “extreme” in nature. But, in your responses to my post, have you not positioned yourself in an equally narrow-minded category? I dunno.

    BTW, I later clarified that post in my comments on it. I mentioned that Halloween does not directly relate to “Gay-Day” and “Pro-Abortion-Day” but rather that Christians at one point absolutely abhorred Halloween (and even Christmas, yikes). And now we celebrate it. The point was that what we once stood against, we are now celebrating. So, the following logic is…what next? Anyhow, I’m not going to continue posting (I’ve got to get to bed) on this thread, so questions and things won’t be answered (sorry, friends!). But thanks at least for avoiding name-calling (for the most part I suppose…) and things. You ask me to try to respect differences, so I would ask you to do, well, the same, I guess.


    1. OK, so what holiday/observances was it Jesus/Paul/Peter/New Testament said we should abstain from? I seem to recall Paul saying to eat freely meat offered to Idols. Peter stopped from adhering to standards both by God & Paul, etc.

      The standard is Christ & His work, not pronouncing your separation from whatever it is you perceive to be worldly, and pronouncing condemnation towards whatever it happens to be at the time.

  29. “Most of you would be very quick to condemn my “narrow-minded” attitude and what many people would consider to be “extreme” in nature. But, in your responses to my post, have you not positioned yourself in an equally narrow-minded category?”

    Yes, but they will adamantly refuse to admit what is oh so painfully obvious.

  30. I think I am friends with this person–only I had to block his status updates because I spent too much time in the bathroom throwing up. 😉

  31. I went to a really lousy Halloween party once. Everyone wore the same costume–a ghost with a dunce cap. The bonfire looked like a cross so it must have been a church party. then I figured out wahat it really was—A BJU staff meeting. 😯

  32. LOL. Well, Halloween, of course, is the eve of All Saints Day. When the kids were little, I dressed them as saints (brown felt makes a great Saint Francis costume) and took them trick-or-treating. I think some of the folks here in the NC Bible Belt found my pint-sized Catholic saints more frightening than any ghoul or ghostie.

    That said, I do think our culture has rather overdone Halloween. Some of the home decorations we’ve encountered have been pointlessly uber-scary — not appropriate for little ones. When I was a kid, trick-or-treating was a BLAST…and yes, we dressed up as ghosts and witches (great way to mock the Bad Guys)…but no one on our trick-or-treat route ever tried to scare us half to death.

    As always, IMHO: moderation in all things. Get into the holiday, but don’t go overboard with the scary stuff — leastwise with little kids.

    BTW, one year we trick-or-treated in downtown King, NC, which had been roped off for the purpose. One storefront church gave us tracts (in lieu of candy) informing us that Halloween is the eve of All **Souls** Day. Um, can’t fundamentalists even get their most basic facts straight?

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