47 thoughts on “???”

  1. That was incredibly awesome.

    Almost self parody.

    “They put the ‘fun’ in ‘fundamentalist’.”

  2. Words fail me. Though the choreography was actually not that bad. Granted, it wasn’t “lightsaber kid” level but the gut stomping seemed fairly realistic.

  3. Revenge of the pleated pants?

    Mercy not only triumps over judgment it knee drops, gut stomps & then tosses overboard?

    Pastoral Authority contra mundi?

  4. I didn’t know Keith Richards attended his church. Big Brother Grice must have made an exception for hair length (wigs included) for this skit. Honestly though, this guy’s dietary intake is what worries me…Texas chili dog and baked beans anyone???

  5. The chorous of kids in the back ground “Fight, Fight, Fight!!” Another generation of Fighting Fundys is birthed. And the allusion to pastoral authority I am sure was not lost on the kids from this church. Wonder if he confiscates cell phones??

    I believe Quintus Arrius (from Ben Hur) said it best, “We keep you alive to “serve” THIS ship, so row well…. and live.”

  6. As a fundy preacher, he is used to giving gut kicks to people–so he’s had a lot of practice.

  7. I’d like to see this guy matched up against the Penguins of Madagascar! I don’t think even w/ all his Pastoral Authority he could match Rico!

  8. SFL: Trying to make up for the fact that their parishioners are not allowed to entertain themselves outside Church (although that might be a little long for a title.

  9. The title is obvious. You just borrow the point they were emphasizing: Fundies Like . . . Putting the “Fun” in “Fundamentalist.”

    Otherwise, an appropriate title would simply be “Homemade Vacation Bible Schools.” The point being that fundies can rarely find VBS materials that they can agree with enough to feel comfortable using it in their church (even if prepared by fellow fundies), so they get their creative juices flowing and concoct embarrassing stuff like this.

    That’s how I would’ve handled it if this were my blog.

    Grand Prairie, Texas, huh? He’s my neighbor! He’s on the Dallas side of the D/FW Metroplex, and I’m on the Fort Worth side.

    Finally, here in Texas, overweight Baptist preachers are almost a given. Something about always being invited to dinner by members of the congregation who fill them full of chicken…besides, doesn’t the Bible say to eat what’s placed before you for conscience sake? That’s basically the logic…they put it this way as a joke, but they pretty much mean it.

  10. My post-fundy motto is: Leave ministry to the ministers, and leave entertainment to the entertainers. Stuff like this just shouldn’t happen. If fundies wanna watch a swashbuckling sword fight, they should rent old Errol Flynn movies or something.

  11. @trex: If John Piper did the same thing with the same [non-existent] skill, I know most, if not all, of us would be laughing at him, too.

  12. aaaHAHAHA!! Greatest laugh I’ve had all day!
    And epic LOL @Christopher.
    And I’ll agree…the physical violence was quite gruesome. I’m pretty sure he full-out clotheslined that dude for real.
    David Grice, you have yet to fail to make me laugh.

  13. If you watch the full ten minute video, you get to see him do a Matrix slo-mo imitation.

    Watch as the U.S.S. Christianity goes against the Pirates Pride and Rebellion. Will Carl (the dumb sidekick) be able to subdue his urges to have fun (which land him in the boat Rebellion) or will Captain Pastor Dude kill the pirate Rebellion with much violence?

    Stay tuned folks!

  14. Sad part of this is i actually know the dude…we’re friends on facebook and everything! He taught me in bible college when I was younger…to his credit he’s not as bad as a lot of other fundy preachers I know…the fact that he associates with me is proof of that lol.

  15. to his credit he’s not as bad as a lot of other fundy preachers I know

    If you have youtube of those other pastors please send it to me ASAP.

  16. Um…Stephen Anderson, R.A. Smith, Jack Schapp, that one dude who preached on the doctrine of hair.

    All documented on Youtube.

    Don’t get me wrong I’m not defending this delicious tidbit of fundy hilarity…just clarifing.

  17. I think it was hilarious, no matter who did it. I’m surprised the preacher didn’t need oxygen after that, though.

  18. Wow. The Skipper really shouldn’t beat up the Professor like that. He’s the only one who knows how to make telephones out of jungle vines.

  19. I saw some folks rip keith gomez apart for taking two months off after his wife died and then some of the same folks talk about the wisdom of piper for taking 6 mos off…can you say double standard?

    1. So what does that have to do with this video, other than the fact that you don’t like John Piper? When he does something this entertaining, we’ll laugh at him, too.

  20. Love the sound of little ones in the background yelling “fight, fight, fight”.
    It is what you would expect to hear at a church. Maybe the kids should attend a church business meeting.

  21. Reminds me of a really cheesy series of commercials for a used car dealership in Virginia called Auto Connection.

  22. Oops. That should have contained your quote, “Wait…didn’t he play the ship’s captain on WALL-E?”.

  23. The long-haired dude came in the boat labelled rebellion evidently they forgot to paint a name on the captain’s boat – it should be the HMS Glutton!

  24. Um… that looks like someone actually watched a movie – those must be LIBERAL fundies. They even allowed long hair!

    However I was a bit surprised to see the Skipper fighting with a Cap’n Jack… and winning. I kinda feel for the kid playing Jack – I think he got truly clothes lined & then dumped on his head!

  25. I noticed that the exit music was from Aaron Copland’s piece “Rodeo”. I don’t know if they realize this or not, but Aaron Copland was a Socialist. Whoops………

  26. I believe the currently accepted term for this is “moderate mental retardation”. Although terminology in that field changes readily, so it could have been updated to “Oh Holy God, what fresh Hell is this?” by now.

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