The Obligatory Hating Sata Post

Satan Santa

It’s that time of year when the world falls in love and peace and earth and goodwill toward men reigns supreme. Yet even in this time of merry-making and fruitcake slinging, fundamentalists will find someone to attack: Old St. Nick.

For Santa Clause is THE GREAT IMPOSTER who will lead your children astray not only each December but possibly for eternity. The reasoning goes something like this…

If a parent tells their trusting child that Santa is real and and that he is omniscient (knows if they’ve been naughty or nice), omnipresent (can get around the world in one night), and omnipotent (not sure about this one but just go with it) then when they learn he is not real they’ll lose faith not only in Santa but will be forced to believe that God is a mere fairytale as well. Did you get that? Good.

Not content to leave it there, fundies then decide to heap unto themselves further proofs that Santa is not only imaginary, he is also evil as well. The SANTA = SATAN theme is preached far and wide. Their proof for this connection?

An internet Google search on “Satan Claus” [not Santa Claus – but SATAN Claus] found over 1,700 hits! Obviously, there are many that tie the two together.

We also learn that Old Nick is

“A well-known British name of the Devil. It seems probable that this name is derived from the Dutch Nikken, the devil…”
(Encyclopedia of Occultism and Parapsychology, p.650)

He’s also a saint so we know the Roman Catholics are involved somehow which probably means it’s a global conspiracy. I don’t know about you but that settles it for me. Not only is Santa not real but he is also the devil. One can only imagine what fundies must think of the tooth fairy.

34 thoughts on “The Obligatory Hating Sata Post”

  1. “use threats, hyperbole, and disinformation to terrorize gullible citizens.”

    I can only describe this with a cliche–“the pot that called the kettle black.” Even the “daft taste in clothes” fits. Freud was wrong about nearly everything, but I think this is a good example of projection.

  2. Freud was wrong about nearly everything …

    You mean my uterus doesn’t get loose and wander through my body?

  3. Dont forget Santa is also pro adultery, and is a wife stealer, ensnaring unsuspectin women. “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus last night”.

  4. Yeah, but “Santa looked a lot like Daddy, and Daddy looked a lot like him.” Simple confusion.

    You know, I seem to remember raging over the bad exegesis of “ho ho ho” (jolly laughter) and the “ho, ho” (“check it out!”) in the Zechariah passage already this year. Is this a repeat?

    Also, I love how anyone named Nick is now a suspect devil, following this guy’s flawless logic.

    1. Oh, the one where God says “ho ho” get up and flee from the “north” to Israel? And apparently it’s Satan trying to imitate God and be Santa Claus. Yeah, I know the one.

  5. The truth courtesy of Clement Moore:

    The parents slept in the nude with just a kerchief and cap
    Santa is a dirty old man – covered with ashes and soot
    Santa has one leg – from his head to his “foot” not “feet”
    Laying a finger upside his nose is disgusting – use a tissue, man!
    No Rudolf is mentioned – that’s an addition to the orginl taxt added by the godless communists

  6. I’m not a fundy. Never been one. We don’t do Santa. I do think its confusing for kids to hear about an omniscient guy who gives gifts for being good… and then not translate works=reward/entitlement and assign that to God. The themes are similar enough to confuse children. I was very confused about it as a kid.

  7. I am not a fundy and we do not do Santa either.

    Telling my children that Santa sees everything and using that to manipulate their behavior is

    1. My parents had nothing to do with Santa; if one of the rolls of wrapping paper in a multipack had Santa on it, my mom would throw it out unused. I don’t go to that extreme, but I don’t tell my kids he’s real or they get presents from him. I do have a beautifully illustrated book about St. Nicholas which I enjoy sharing with them.

  8. Do you also believe that Santa = Satan? Because if not, then you still don’t qualify as a real fundy 🙂

  9. I think the Bible Believer’s website would be more accurately portrayed as a great imposter than Santa. Those people really need to get a life. I couldn’t believe the BS about Santa/Satan that they made up. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would be funny.

  10. No. Santa isnt Satan.

    But even though it might make some folks nauseaus….

    Jesus IS the reason for the season.
    or at least.. Im not celebrating a pagan holiday

  11. “The Myth: the teen years are evangelistically productive.
    The Reality: if they’re not saved by age 13, they probably never will be”

    Out of all the blather about Santa I read on their website, that quote is the most disturbing. I guess God’s sovereign will is impeded by teen angst.

    And I always assumed that the whole Santa=Satan because two letters were transposed was a joke. I’m more naive then I thought.

  12. Love the poster, it is sooooo fundy.

    My wife and I decided to always tell the kids the truth from the very begining. We believed that this would improve the child’s ability to determine what is real and what is imaginary. I have no idea if “tell the truth” is rational or if its results are proven to be true. All of my family enjoys Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. We enjoy the traditions of society, Star wars, Disney movies, etc. We are able to do this comfortably because we tell the kids the truth.

    By puting Santa and Satan on the same poster are they implying that Satan is not real or Santa is real?

  13. There’s a big difference between not doing Santa and comparing Santa to Satan. But I spent my childhood believing in Santa, knowing always that Christmas began with Jesus. And I haven’t cracked yet.

  14. Ok. Sad fundy story. A friend of mine decided to post this status on his facebook today:
    “Santa has become a god of America. I’m not falling for it.”
    I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to laugh or cry at that. Or do some other emotional releasal at that sad misguidance…

  15. I don’t think that telling your kids about Santa is bad. BUT, if the story is carried out to it’s fullest extent, it teaches that there is a god-like figure who rewards good behavior and punishes bad behavior. Exactly the opposite of the Bible.

  16. I am not looking forward to my facebook wall in the next few months. I’m making a rule. I am unfriending anyone who posts the same links they posted last year. I mean… what’s the point. It just looks like hatred to unbelievers.

    1. And the IFB claims the Jehovah’s witnesses are a cult, but not them! Uh huh! Tell me another one. The IFB church I grew up in did celebrate Chistmas, however the administrator of the Christian school associated with the church did not celebrate Christmas. This family had 8 children. He was very obstinate. I used to feel sorry for his children because they were forbidden even to take part in their class Christmas party. One year, I had his youngest who was in K-4 in Sunday school. The little girl ate a cookie and punch with the other kids in the class. He began SPANKING her for it, right in the classroom. 😯 I stepped in, he needed to blame me for the snack. It was not a Christmas party, just happened to be a treat for verse memory during the Christmas holiday season! I then told him he could just TRY to spank ME since I had given his 4 year old the snack! He gave me a look as if I had just stepped out of hell itself…..but he did stop spanking his 4 year old! Guess he knew he better not touch me! 👿

      1. I hear stories like that I just want to go all Billy Jack-Bruce Lee-Jackie Chan-Chuck Norris on pea brained idiots like that! grrrrrr! 😈

      2. I’ve seen (although been fortunate it’s been rare), Evangelist/Missionary familyh come through where you could see the abuse and despair on the kids face, and even the true fundies could see it too, and *no one did or said a thing*. Was rare enough no one knew what to do (since of course the abuser or abusers got it together in public enough to not perpetuate a crime in front of witnesses). I could almost stand fundamentalists if they didn’t do the pretend all the problems in the world (and Christianity) are the non fundies, and more importantly if they had the guts to confront actual evil that they know exists, rather than witch hunts for unapproved movies/music, or NIVs.

      3. Wow, and I would have said the same thing you did, Kitty.

        I’ve heard of extremes like that, sadly. Knew of one Dad who saw something he didn’t like on TV and so with his young kids in the room, he took his gun and blasted the TV away.

        I have 3 cousins who grew up that way (thank God, my Dad wasn’t like that – my parents were fundies, but not strict about it), and they all have severe social issues. Two of them are 43 and 36 and still live at home, and one completely left home but still struggles.

  17. I had a Sunday School teacher in JR. High that preached against Christmas Trees. (Based on Jer.10:4.) We still laugh about it. His name was Mr. Winch, but we called him “The Winch who stole Christmas.)

  18. OK, Kris Kringle is … drumroll … Kris Kringle in English AND German. Christus is the word for Christ, and kind is the word for child. WTHeck are they talking about Kris Kringle meaning Christ Child??? They pulled that out of their ear, I guess. Craziness.

  19. I hope no one else has already addressed this, but Satan is supposed to be impervious to fire?? Then what’s the point of the lake of fire? Surely there’s a bit of the Bible I’m missing that says that Satan is immune to fire… 😯

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