A solider doesn’t just pick up any old weapon when going to war, neither does a fundamentalist pick up just any old Bible to fight the good fight. Some important considerations are required.
First of all the Bible must be large. It must be big enough to show that the bearer takes the Scripture seriously enough to risk a hernia when he totes it around. The Bible must be big enough so then when held aloft with one hand, the pages drape over to give thatt classic “This is My King James Bible” look.
The cover must also be leather to allow the holder to get that wonderful “THWACK” sound when he slaps his hand against the cover. This is especially important if preaching. “That’s not what this Bible right here says!!! THWACK! It says that women ought to be silent in the churches, amen? THWACK!”
Lastly, wide margins are a must. This is no sissy Bible. It must have space for notes, outlines, and autographs.
Let lesser Christians come to the battlefield with their pocket sized Bibles with cheap covers and tiny margins. The fundamentalist’s Bible will never be hidden away from view — nor carried without effort.