Have you heard that there was a rare red heifer born in Israel; the kind needed to sacrifice for the rebuilt Temple? We must be nearing the end times!
Did you know that Proctor and Gamble support the church of Satan and put a Satanic symbol on their products? We must be in the end times!
Are you aware that for a gang initiation guys drive back roads with their headlights off and shoot the first person in an oncoming car to flash their lights? Things are waxing worse and worse. It must be the end times!
Urban legends are a staple of fundamentalist lore. This is especially true of those wild tales that end up being repeated as sermon illustrations. Quasi-scientific anecdotes have an especially long life in this genre. Have you ever heard any of these gems?
- There was once a scientist who finds the “universe’s lost time” in the Bible’s accounts of Joshua and Hezekiah and becomes a Christian.
- The position of the earth is so precise that a few miles closer to the sun and we would all burn, a few miles further away and we would all freeze.
- Scientists dropped microphones into a deep hole and heard screams from the center of the earth.
- The hottest kind of fire burns pitch black.
Who could resist such compelling tales when they come from the mouth of a respected pastor or evangelist? And how could he possibly resist using such stories when they so easily illustrate the point of his sermon? So the urban legend continues, passed down from generation to generation.
However, the claim that sugar is only one molecule away from cocaine is almost certainly the truth. Surely a pastor wouldn’t just make that up, would he? One would certainly hope not…
14 thoughts on “Urban Legends”
*sigh* Stupid. Something fundies don;t have a corner on – or any public speaker for that metter. Or even…haters who disguise themselves as bloggers.
I remember hearing this one: “The position of the earth is so precise that a few miles closer to the sun and we would all burn, a few miles further away and we would all freeze.” then I remember in college learning about elliptical orbits and being confused. How can this be? How could our orbit vary so wildly from one point to the other and the above statement still be true.
I never really got a good answer for that one.
That also fails to account for the fact that it’s real cold at the poles, and real hot at the equator, and everything in between, in between. Earth doesn’t have just one temperature, and people can live within a range of temperatures.
Of course, it all depends on how many miles is “a few”.
i had a ss teacher tell us once that p&g put aborted fetus parts in their products. why would she tell us that!?
Because it’s true.
Just discovered this blog–it’s AMAZING! I remember as a young preacher idolizing Dr. James Kennedy and repeating many of the urban legends he spouted so confidently from his lofty pulpit. If we was so confident about it, he must be right! Especially because he was a “Doctor.” I sadly repeated the one about the earth being so many miles away, blah, blah. Didn’t even think about the nature of the earth’s orbit over the course of a year. Can you do another post on urban legends from the pulpit? Perhaps everyone can share one or two that they have heard repeated. These tall tales do great discredit to the movement that Jesus started.
i was at a bible study, and someone broke out the microphone in the hole “illustration.” People unschooled in the blind faith of a fundy, asked “wouldn’t the mic have melted?” oh yee of little faith!
“However, the claim that sugar is only one molecule away from cocaine is almost certainly the truth.”
Absolutely true. And meaningless. Name any two chemicals. The first is “only one molecule away” from being the second one. That’s because a molecule is the basic unit of a chemical. The smallest thing that can be cocaine, or sugar, or kryptonite, is a molecule. Are Fundy colleges too busy bashing evolution to get around to beginning chemistry?
Chemistry is science. And everyone knows that science is lies from the devil.
Man. I didn’t grow up IFB in the least, but I did hear every single one of these in my Christian school growing up. I feel stupid for ever believing any of it.
Another really pervasive one is the idea that the Columbine shooters went around asking people if they believed in God and shooting them if they said yes.
This one came from a faulty account of the incident where a student named Cassie Bernall was asked the question by the shooters. According to one source, she sadi yes and was killed. Actually, she hesitated and was shot before she had the chance to say anything. Another student was asked the same question and was spared upon saying yes.
A Contemporary Christian band popularized the inaccurate account in a song titled “She Said Yes” later on.
It’s easy to see why fundies like this particular urban legend. It feeds into their persecution complex and gives them an excuse to challenge young people with “Would you die for your faith?” without having to look too far back in time to give a reason.
“•Scientists dropped microphones into a deep hole and heard screams from the center of the earth.”
Yep, my former-fundy CEO still believes that. You can look it up fer yerselves.
Wow. I like reading my old posts. Reminds me of little facts I’ve already repressed.