“Good Neighbors” A Fundamentalist Parable

A man on his way from Atlanta to Greenville was robbed and severely beaten at a rest area. The thieves even stole his clothes and left him for dead lying on the sidewalk and drove off in his car.

As it happened, a fundamentalist pastor happened by that way and saw the man but he thought there was a good chance the man was dead anyway and the pastor was on his way to go soulwinning so he really couldn’t spare the time. Instead, he carefully stepped around the guy making sure not to get his wingtip shoes bloody and hurried away — muttering about how ifย  conservatives were in charge of the government this sort of crime wouldn’t happen nearly so much.

A few moments later, a fundamentalist deacon passed by the same way but he observed that the man was immodestly clad and wondered how it might affect a Baptist deacon’s testimony if someone saw him near the wounded man and assumed it was the appearance of evil. So he too carefully stepped around the wounded man, hiking up his khaki pant legs to avoid the gore and went on his way.

But then along came an atheist, lesbian Democrat who taught Women’s Studies at the local community college and drove a Prius. And she saw the man and took pity on his plight. She called him an ambulance and sat with the wounded man and held his bruised hand until the paramedics came. Then she followed him to the hospital and handed them her Visa card and said “Whatever he owes on his bills you can charge it to me. And if he needs anything here is my cell phone number just give me a call.”

Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?

Go and do likewise.

490 thoughts on ““Good Neighbors” A Fundamentalist Parable”

      1. That was my attempt to avoid saying “First!” and yet still be first!

    1. Well because I preach every week for a sold out preacher of the Gospel of Jesus Christ I will not right an allegory with a very poor and distastful attempt at humor and accusation but I will tell you a true story.

      Recently a friend of mine, Independant Fundamental Baptist Pastor, was driving home from making visits at one of the hospitals in the Orlando, FL area. He was traveling on the toll road around the city when he saw what appeared to be a lady stopped on the side of the road with her car disabled. Being a good southern gentleman he stopped to see if he could help her in anyway, either mechanically (because that is what he did before God called him into ministry) or let her use his phone to call for help (family, tow truck, etc.) if she had not already done so. The area was a remote part of the highway with no houses around but definetly not without traffic. It was around 3pm which is just before the heavy rush to get out of Orlando’s business district takes place. As he was speaking to the lady he suddenly felt someting in his back. When he turned to look it was a large man with a knife and pressing it into the lower part of his back. The man then said, “if you do what I say you will get to see your family tonight and if you don’t I will feed you to the alligators in that pond (motioning to a near by body of water).” He then said, “Give me your wallet.” So he gave him his wallet. He then said, “Give me your phone.” So he gave him his phone. He then told the lady to check his pockets for cash. So, they took what he had in his jacket and pants pockets. He then walked him over to his car and told him to hand him the keys from the ignition. So, he handed him his keys. The man then took the keys and threw them down the side of interstate into the bushes and tall grass. He told my friend to get into the car and to not move until they had left and then he lifted his shirt and showed him a gun. My Preacher friend got into his car and sat down and closed the door. The moment the door closed he locked it and watched as the man and woman dropped the hood on their car,climbed into the car, smiled and waved good-bye and drove away. For the next several minutes he sat there in stunned silence with the images of what had just happened flashing through his mind. He thought about his wife and five children. He thought about all that could have happened and then began to thank God that he did not become the “The Good Samaritan That Became The Victim.” He later told me that the amazing thing was the hundreds of cars that passed by and no one thought to stop and help. The people that had to see him walking with his hands in the air in the middle of the afternoon and a man with a large knife stuck in his back but no one stopped to help or even call the police. Nope Darrell, not one Catholic, SBC, Reform-Pres, Methodist, Agnostic, Atheist, Mormon, JW, Homosexual, Liberal, Conservative, Pentacostol, Holiness, Charasmatic, Seventh Day, Lutheran, Buddhist, Hindu and not even a friendly Muslim stopped to help him that day. The only thing that Preacher had on his side that day was the Grace of God. When I aked him what he would do in the future if he saw a woman in distress he said, “I would stop again but the next time I will be more ovservant and less gulible.” Wow, almost died but he would do it again to show the love of God to a stranger on the side of the road. When’s the last time you changed a tire Darrell. I saw your video you shot at BJ. I don’t think you even know how to change a flat, windshieled wipers, headlight, tail-light or any other maintenance but your are the self proclaimed “Good Samaritan of Christianity.”
      I wonder, in your quest for perfection, how often you take the time to really, I mean really help someone in need. We live a culture of takers but then again that is a result of sin. The heart of man is desperately wicked. You seem to have it all figured out. Why don’t you start a church? Why don’t you start a rescue mission? Why don’t you start a children’s home? Why don’t you start a Bible College? Why don’t you do someithing other than look at the Mote in the believers eye while missing the beam in your own eye? Ive learned that when people get involved in ministry and stop being critical of those that are their criticisim goes down 100% because they suddenly realize all the pressure, pain and heartache that comes with being in ministry. The only thing that sustains you are the occasional victories along the way and then you just keep singing that old hymn of the faith, “Keep on the firing line!” lol

      You do realize you are going to give an account for this website one day. I hope you are ready for that! However, I am sure that Jesus sits in Heaven next to His Father and say, “Go Darrell, sow that discord. That a boy Darrell give the bitter a place to vent and spew their venom. You the man Darrell, you are keeping people from getting right with me and with man. Go Darrell, Go Darrell, Go Darrell.” Oh, I can hear the Lord chanting that now. This has been a mote and beam moment for Darrell. ๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ™

      1. You sound as offended as the priests and levites who heard the original version must have been.

      2. Correct spelling, punctuation, and paragraph separation help a little bit when making your point…

        1. Typing while on the move can be a bit challenging but I did catch the mispells after I hit send. I do beg your forgiveness. Paragraphs are left to the writers discretion at this point I just wanted to create some variation and not a long epistle. But thanks for your kind rebuke.

        2. You mean you typed that whole thing on your phone?
          My, My, Grandmother, what big thumbs you have! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

      3. Moteandbeam, if you had not so completely demonstrated that you have absolutely NO concept of the person of God and his heart I might be inclined to try to respond to your tirade. Reading that I could just see you storming up and down the isles and frothing at the mouth…Impressive!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        1. Well lets see I preached last night and seven souls came to Jesus. Maybe if you came you would too. ๐Ÿ˜€

        2. How destitute must you be to read what I wrote and arrive at your concusion. I’m giving the other side of Darrells poor humor and that there are bad apples in every barrel.

        3. “Well lets see I preached last night and seven souls came to Jesus.”

          To you be the glory? or to God be the glory?

          and

          Did they come to Jesus because your sermon was awesome, or because God drew them to him? (see John 6:44).

        4. “Well lets see I preached last night and seven souls came to Jesus. Maybe if you came you would too.”
          See? Poe’s Law. This hack CANNOT be legit. If this isn’t parody, I don’t know what is.

        5. “I preached last night and seven souls came to Jesus” Came to Jesus? Ya sure? Tell me how they are doin’ in 10… no 3 years…Months maybe? As a matter of fact where are the people you claim to have led to Jesus over the last 6 months, excluding the last two months?

        6. No dear friend they did not come to Jesus because of me. They came to Jesus because they realized through the convicting ability of the Holy Spirit of God that if they died they were going to spend eternity in a Devils hell. Where they will be next week, next month or next year I can not say. As a matter of fact the Bible says that when Peter preached at Pentacost in Acts 2 that 3000 were saved that day. I wonder how many of them fell back into sin? I wonder how many of them struggled with commitment to the church? Jesus told his disciples to win them, baptize them, and to teach them but they have to make themselves available to Him.

        7. This is for Mark.

          You should really learn what a parody is before you write.

          Paul said this though, “Beware lest any man spoil you through phylosophy or vain deceit…” Col. 2:8

          Be careful that you don’t use words that are to big and quote dead guys that know better now.

          Have a great day in the Lord! ๐Ÿ˜Ž

        8. MaB, If you are not at least 65 years old you certainly have “the old evangelist” schtic down.

        9. I’m willing to be MoaB runs a multi-level marketing business on the side.
          “As a matter of fact the Bible says that when Peter preached at Pentacost in Acts 2 that 3000 were saved that day. I wonder how many of them fell back into sin?”
          You’ve got the sales attitude down, sir.

        10. @ Mote and Beam

          “They came to Jesus because they realized through the convicting ability of the Holy Spirit of God that if they died they were going to spend eternity in a Devils hell.”

          And that is the saddest thing of all. Salvation through fear. What Gospel are we offering if we need to resort to manipulating through fear? It’s the saddest thing in the world to me that we have lost our faith in the power of God’s love and grace.

      4. Only Poe’s Law could have brought something like this into existence.

        1. Ok, I humbly admit I have not come accross “Poe’s Law”. Splain it to me Marky…

        2. Poe’s law, named after its author Nathan Poe, is an Internet adage reflecting the fact that without a clear indication of the author’s intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and the satirical parody of extremism. (via wikipedia)

        3. Officially, Poe’s Law states: “Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.”
          Basically, by all appearances this SHOULD be a parody, but we can’t tell. An example: “Some conservatives consider noted homophobe Fred Phelps to be so over-the-top that they argue he’s a ‘deep cover liberal’ trying to discredit more mainstream homophobes.”
          This leads to Poe’s Corollary: “It is impossible for an act of Fundamentalism to be made that SOMEONE won’t mistake for a parody.”
          And finally, Poe’s Paradox: “In any fundamentalist group, a paradox exists where any new person (or idea) sufficiently fundamentalist to be accepted by the group is likely to be so ridiculous that they risk being rejected as a parodist (or parody).”

      5. Ya know when you get tired of breating the air in there, george will be more than willing to help you extract yourself.

        1. Perhaps a Plastiotomy? An operation where in a plastic window is placed in the lower abdomen so that one suffering from cronic cranious rectmous can see where they are going.

      6. @MoteandBeam, I can’t believe that Darrell posts a story Jesus told only setting it in today’s world and naming today’s religious leaders instead of a scribe and a Levite, and THIS is the post you choose to attack and criticize him for?

      7. 1. What on earth did you see in that video that enables you to comment on Darrell’s mechanic ability?

        2. Darrel HAS started a rescue mission: it’s right here, and it’s a rescue mission for those of us that have been beat up, abused, and robbed by the IFB movement.

        3. Nowhere in the Bible does it say the Good Samaritan was concerned for his own safety; he was concerned for his neighbor. Jesus Christ came to DIE for us, not to save himself. Obviously, both you and your preacher friend have missed the point.

        1. I’ve never understood why fundamentalists challenge anyone who criticizes the status quo by saying, “What ministry have YOU started?” as if anyone who hasn’t started their own church or mission or ministry is disqualified from having an opinion.

          The Bible is very clear that God has given us all different gifts and abilities and that we are NOT to all be doing the same thing. Anyone saying, “You didn’t start your own ministry so you can’t talk!” appears to me to be coming close to violating 1 Cor. 12.

        2. That was the best part of that whole nonsensical rant. I’m surprised he didn’t say something about the size of Darrell’s enormous head. Anyway, his story was complete crap. Kind of like that story that the evangelists like to tell about the random phone calls that they receive while staying at hotel rooms. It is always some woman on the other end of the line (probably RobM or Mark Thomas’s sister) who propositions them for sex and keeps calling until the evangelist gets down on his knees and prays for God to save him from the temptation.

          Still, the shots at Darrell’s inability to change a tire made me laugh. That, and all of those horrendous spelling errors.

        3. Best insight ever into the work of Darrell. But you know he will called to account for helping the broken and bruised and wounded.

        4. @Jonathan.

          Really? Their sisters? I had some respect for you. I felt like: Hey. This guy’s a little misguided, he seems moderately willing to listen and have a discussion, all from his view of course, but still. Ad hominem attacks are poor arguments, but seriously? Their sisters?! YOU ARE ONE SICK BASTARD! YOU MAKE ME WANT TO VOMIT!

        5. @Jonathan–that was so inappropriate. You owe an apology. It’s heinous that you would say that in the first place, and it’s doubly heinous that you probably thought it was funny. This is not the first time that I’ve seen a fundy man resort to crude, sexual remarks.

          @Darrell–I know Jonathan’s ignorance has kept us all entertained for quite some time, but that misogynistic, offensive remark should get him banned.

        6. @Michelle M: Does the word unicorn mean anything to you? (If it doesn’t, pretend I didn’t ask.)

          I’ll be the first to come out and say: “Don’t ban Jonathan.” That’s not because I don’t agree with anything you said, Michelle. I think Jonathan’s still a long way from John Keater status.

          If anything, ban this Moat and Beam clown. That is, if he’s actually legit and not a parody like I keep insisting he is.

      8. Wow, you’re good!! I can’t tell if you’re serious or making fun of extremists. ๐Ÿ˜†

        So who are you? Don? Shoes? …?

      9. Lesson I learned from your story: Don’t pull over to help someone unless you’re armed. My HF, a police officer who is ALWAYS armed, would have made the jackwagon eat dirt AND THEN arrested him. Something he has done before on someone who pulled crap on him.

        Oh and BTW, I’ve lived in Florida and its much like NYC. People mind their business because they don’t want to get killed.

      10. Mote & Beam wrote, “Why donโ€™t you start a childrenโ€™s home?”

        Because many IFB children’s homes (Roloff Homes, Hephzibah house, etc.) are nothing less than sick fundy abusive camps where children are taught that God thinks very little of them.

        These places should be shut down.

        http://www.hephzibahhouse.com/Hephzibah_House/Home.html

      11. Thanks bro! Needed that laugh!

        I don’t think there was a single accusation that you made that was applicable to this circumstance, and I don’t think there was a single accusation made against you PERIOD. Calm down and just enjoy life a little, huh?

      12. Wow…my post called it exactly. I just wasn’t expecting to actually see it in print.
        Can I call it or what?

      13. A lengthy tale with a non sequitur conclusion, followed by an attack that has no ground. Your sermonette illustration was fine, a story of a man mugged while trying to assist is certainly another Samaritan tale, but I think you completely failed to understand Darrell’s point, and the resulting unjustified (by the text) attacks on Darrell make it sound like you just couldn’t get past using IFB officials in the place of the priest and the Levite in the original parable. Darrell recast it to remind us that this parable remains just as relevant and cogent today as in 30 AD; changing the people enacting the Three Roles is a time-honored tradition. Your attacks, on the other hand, are a common fallacy, in the exact same vein as those who were being called out by Christ in the original story; you take your disagreement with the existence of the website and Darrell’s work on it to conclude that he won’t lift a finger to help people, and hold him to a synthetic standard you whomped up yourself as an illustration. That’s pure ad hominem, and totally unjustified. Furthermore, that little helping of “punk kid” (saying FROM HIS APPEARANCE that he probably can’t fix cars) was the last straw. I guess you think that Darrell doesn’t participate in ministry, and that he ought to get started. Or is that really a concealed boast about your own ministries?
        Of course if a person stops being critcal he will be 100% less critical. Far be it from me to deny that the ministry of the Gospel can be a cause for pain, but if you’re relying on YOUR victories to sustain you, you’ve forgotten that’s just more filthy rags compared to the inexhaustible grace of Christ; the victory is His, not ours.
        Finally, remember that Darrell can’t keep people from being saved by giving folks a forum, no matter what its purpose or tone. Man’s reconciliation is the work of the cross, and I defy a person to prevent it. Stop preaching that Pelagianism.

  1. Hey…..you’re trying to make a point here aren’t you!!!!!

    This will not be well received. It will be called…
    sarcasm.
    satire.
    Ridicule
    disrespect for the MOG.

    and the point will totally be missed.

    1. The Beaten Man got what he deserved; beat and robbed. What is missing in the story is that he had left the land of gid and went down, I said HE WENT DOWN brothers and sisters, to Atlanta. What good ever came from leaving the good land and going down to Egypt? Egypt is the place of pharaoh and sin; a picture of the world, brothers and sisters. So this wicked man was out of gidโ€™s will, sinning in Egypt and HE GOT WHAT HE DESER-R-R-RVED, bless gid. Hay-men?!? There he was, wearing his jewelry, flaunting his sin, and GID SHOWED HIM THEREโ€™S ONLY PLEASURE IN SIN FOR A SEASON, hay-men. His beatings show gidโ€™s justice is swift and righteous. This manโ€™s sin was punished, hay-men, and thatโ€™s what it takes for one little child to see you canโ€™t get away with sin, I HOPE 1000 MORE GET BEATEN!! Hay-men. Every head bowed, every eye closed.

      1. Shoes – you forgot to mention that the only other time going down to anywhere in Georgia is talked about in our wicked world is when the Devil! Hisself went down to Georgia.

        1. Looking for a soul to steal. He was in a bind and had to find….heck, I forgot the rest.
          But I don’t think Charlie Daniels was wrong.

  2. You captured the irony: many conservative Christians are so busy being “religious”, which to them is witnessing and preserving their testimony (avoiding doing anything others might dislike), that they have no time for the grubby, one-on-one effort of loving others. In other words, they have no time or interest in actually obeying Jesus.

    1. they like to say “Christ” alot, but not Jesus. Its always “Christ” and “Savior”

      1. @Maybe Gray

        I asked my fundy friend why he does that and he said he didn’t know. I think they just parrot what they hear. Maybe they don’t want to be associated with us Jesus freaks.

      2. Jesus is the name, Christ is the title (or his occupation, if you will). I’ve always called him “Jesus,” but if you say “Christ,” I know who you mean.

      3. I remember Bob Jr. saying he didn’t like preachers who said Jesus all the time, but don’t remember his reasoning.

      4. If you’re lucky, sometimes you get “In the nay-yum of JAY-zuz!” and if you’re really lucky they can wring four or five syllables out of it. ๐Ÿ™„

  3. I just visited my ExFundie’s website. Pics of the church and the inside there were chairs facing the pulpit. I counted little more than 50….about the same numer of people when I left over 20 years ago. They took pride in their small numbers, means they were so righteous that the average “Christian” couldn’t handle it. Also read the ‘Pastor’s page’ chock full of red herrings on the American political scene and of course, nothing much at all about Jesus or God’s love. Nothing at all really. Also, lots of talk about the “hippies….” Still? Still obsessed with your HS classmates who got more and had more? Still working out those insecurities every week in front of that pulpit and audience of 50? Wow.

    1. I also visited my ex-church’s website a few years back. It seems they’ve grown a bit, but their focus mainly was on their school (which I attended) and how the teacher/student ratio was 1:8. From K-12, they still only have about 80 students, which was the same as when I attended 15+ years ago. Also noted was the fact that the majority of the MOG’s kids were now employed with the church (asst. pastor, youth group leader, music leader, etc.) Sad, really. I grew up with those kids and had truly hoped they would escape the bunker. ๐Ÿ™

      1. Yeah all the deacon’s kids went to BJU and into various IFB schools for employment. I came from a broken home and was thought of as one of the bad kids (straight A student but in *gasp* public schools, didn’t count) and was treated poorly by these kids and their parents. Now I know I was the lucky one.

      2. Could this be a church about an hour outside of St. Louis? Sounds like the one I went to as a kid…It was like the pastor set up the church to be the host for all his kids to live off of as parasites.

    2. I don’t judge sucess by size. 50 faithful people can do a lot. But if their interests are more in partisan politics than in following Jesus, then that’s also where their efforts will go.

  4. Of course, the good news is that you don’t have to be an atheist, lesbian whatever to stop and help the injured and besieged (though I take your point). You can be a barista, a Buddhist, a John Bircher, etc. What you have to be, is a human being who knows your own frailty and recognizes the value of the lives you meet every day. When the day comes that you realize that God Himself so valued those same lives that He made (and yours) and came down among us to bandage us up and suffer with us, you’ll become a Christian. Anyway, I did.

    1. Excellent point Bassenco, excellent point.

      The same one Jesus was making I believe.

  5. PS: I realize that most people here are Christians. I didn’t mean to sound pompous. But I labored under a lot of delusions until I became a Christian (a real one).

  6. Darrell, as a former pastor of mine used to say: “Aw look, you done stopped preachin’ and started steppin’ on toes!”

    Of course, this same pastor would have helped the guy, so I had a lot of respect for him.

    1. Yep. The first IFB pastor I had was a kind and loving individual, the kind who would have stopped and helped our badly injured man. I might not have left the IFB if all IFB pastors were like him. Unfortunately, after he retired, his replacement was a first class jerk, and upon finding out that most IFB pastors were this way, I decided to GTFO.

      1. I truly believe my old IFB pastor would have stopped and helped as much as he could.
        However, we would hear about for the next 2 years during sermons about how much he went out of his way to help and how little we do by not being in the church everytime the doors are open.

        1. Scorpio, I also think that my first IFB pastor, Dan Parr, and our assistant pastor, Bob Crawford, would have stopped and helped. But the IFB was different back then. Dan Parr has died. Bob Crawford has retired from the ministry. And now we have the Chuck Phelpses, Brian Fullers, Jack Schaaps, etc.

      2. Have you actually spoken to most IFB pastor to make this assertion? I mean, that would be a lot of pastors and you would probably have to make it your full-time occupation. Did you travel and spend time with them or are your allegations based on simple hearsay from the individuals on this site?

        1. I know for a fact that my first IFB pastor would have stopped and helped him. He was such a humble, kind-hearted man, and I still miss him to this day. Unfortunately, my second IFB pastor – not so sure he would’ve stopped, and that is a very sad thing.

        2. I trust the sincerity of other visitors to this site infinitely more than I trust yours.

        3. We all know there are exceptions. But the story is dealing with the spirit of IFB pastors who have “arrived.”

          You seem to have fun splitting hairs. ๐Ÿ™„

        4. As a man who surrendered to preach, and in my 30’s, I saw more preachers than normal. I also heard stories about even more. One thing it taught me was that the various camps will act quite differently.

          The camp my first church is in is full of preacher that would stop and wait for the ambulance, and go no further. But don’t tell them you use a NIV or they will shun you.

          Most of the other camps have leaders who wouldn’t stop.

        5. @Josh, your ignorance is frightening. There were many sincere individuals who claimed all sorts of things that later proved to be false. Just because there is a groupthink mentality doesn’t mean that they are correct. I would suggest that you actually come in contact with “most” IFB pastors before you make the allegations.

      3. Okay, I wasn’t going to comment but Josh your comment proves the real problem with this and all other websites like it. Dude, how can you run down a former Pastor and then use the abbreviation that you used for leaving. The problem isn’t the Pastor the problem is you. What a mote and beam moment for all of us to reflect on. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        1. You evidently read a different word into that acronym than I did. ๐Ÿ™„

          Anyway, my feelings about leaving that ok-church-turned-cult are not invalidated by your perception of the supposed inappropriateness of my feelings about it. You’ve not proven anything, other than your own trollishness!

        2. Honestly, though, complaining about a curse word? Who does that?! Oh right, fundy…

        3. Mark – The comment you linked, if it is sincere and I see no reason to belive that it is not, confirms every reason why I left fundyland.

        4. MaB, that’s a whole lot of proof to ride on a paragraph. Do I understand that using foul language (assumed from the acronym, I conclude) is the beam to a pastor’s being a jerk (the mote)? This only follows if pastors are above common standards of behavior not only for us, but also for God. I may not like the way people put things, but that’s usually a mote problem.

  7. Wow, this one strike very close to home me! BTDTBTTS*! ๐Ÿ™

    I was out of town 250 miles from home when I was struck down with something life-threatening and ended up hospitalized for 34 days. I spent long lonely days sitting in a hospital bed, bored out of my skull and worried because one of the possibilities for my illness was that I could die. Hubby could only come in on weekends. I never received flowers from my church, almost no phone calls, and only 2 cards during the entire stay. I found out after the fact that the MOG and his wife (the wife had been a very close friend) had driven TWICE within ten minutes of my hospital and not made the effort to come see me. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ My mother called and begged the MOG’s wife (my “good” friend) to please at least call me so she did ONE time in 34 days. Needless to say I was very disappointed by their treatment. Meanwhile, hubby has to stay home alone because he could NOT have any time off work and try to keep it together at home 250 miles away, along with not missing a single Wednesday or MANDATORY Thursday evening soul winning service. NOT ONE TIME did anyone offer to make a meal for him or give him money to go out, offer to help clean the house or do chores to lighten his load, or offer any other assistance! ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

    When it was all over and I was finally able to return home, nearly six weeks after this ordeal began, my husband insisted on going back to this church. I really didn’t want to after the way they treated me but I complied. You would not believe all the people who came up to me and said they were glad I was back home and that they had been praying for me! ๐Ÿ™„ Or course, they all had lots of excuses as to why they never called, wrote, or anything and most of the excuses had something to do with ministries at church or SOUL WINNING! One lady actually said to me, I would have called or written but I was working fervently with a family who is thisclose to getting saved. UGH! ๐Ÿ‘ฟ ๐Ÿ™„ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

    It took a few years, but hubby finally saw the light and we left the chuch. Thank God we no longer go there!!!

    *been there done that, bought the t-shirt ๐Ÿ˜‰

    1. I’m so sorry that you went through that, but I guess in round-about ways those kinds of situations help us to see the truth about people. I’ve been going through a pretty major life crisis (my husband abandoning me for my sister’s best friend, to be specific) and I’ve had tons of people tell me they are “praying for me.” That’s nice, and I appreciate it, but I have needed actual HELP! I know I’m not perfect at this, but when someone expresses a genuine need to me, I try to meet the need if there is any way I can, in ADDITION to praying. I think lots of people use the “I’m praying for you” thing as a cop-out to look Christian-y but not really do anything for people.

      1. Innocent, The problem is that people do not know what to do. You are, or are soon to be, divorced. Most fundies have no idea what to do with that. They know that you are innocent. They know that, If you could you would do almost anything to fix this and have a happy marriage. But there is that “D” word and “D” is unforgivable. Never mind that it is the last thing you wanted to be and Paul said to let the unbeliever go because we are called to peace. My heart it with you and I pray that God will give you comfort and protect you from “Christians”. (((((huggs))))

      2. A quote I have always liked… “To get your prayers answered, you must first get off your knees.”

        Some people need to learn that part

    2. I also had a very similar incident as you describe. I worked at the church (as did my husband) and when I went to the hospital to have my second baby, she was kept a little longer than usual so I insisted on staying as long as she stayed. Not ONE person from the church came to visit, or helped my husband with meals while I was gone (and he couldn’t visit because of his horrible work/church schedule) He was trying to juggle caring for a 2 year old with fulfilling all his fundy duties and I was trying to hold it all together as I faced the possible loss of a baby alone. (wouldn’t want to be a bad testimony in the face of tragedy, right?) Sad sad sad that they can use the word “Christian” at all.

    3. Thank God for my parents’ church.
      Last year, my Mom was injured in a fall and spent several weeks in the hospital and a rehab center. People from the church (United Methodist, if it matters) visited Mom every day and looked for any way they could help. They brought Dad food and called several times a day to check on him. They did all this without any sermons, and mostly without telling anyone else what they were doing, except to keep the church updated on how Mom and Dad were doing. Since I live 500 miles away and couldn’t spend all my time with Mom and Dad, it was a great relief to know that they were in this community of caring.

      Of course, when they are well, my parents also do the same kinds of things for many other people, almost every day.

    4. 9 Years ago i was shot in the groin by would-be carjackers. I knocked on death’s door – the bullet severed the right iliac artery, damaged both iliac veins, and damaged some nerves.

      My Pasotr at the time was good in visiting. But off all my friends, colleagues and Christian acquiantances, there was only one fellow who visited twice. The only other two non-family members other the pastor who came more than once (and I was there 13 days) were my atheist/agnostic manager, and my Muslim colleague.

    5. Dear Friend,

      My heart broke as I read your story because as I have seen for over 20 years of ministry you found someone to blame your husbands short comings on, your Pastor. The Local Church is a volunteer organization of people that freely give their time to be used of God. There is no mandatory service unless of course you were/are Momons. Why did your husband need vacation or sick days to leave work. Bill Clinton gave you the “Family Medical Leave Act” for this very reason. All he had to do was go in and explain to his boss that he was taking it and his boss would have been bound by law to hold his job in order for him to take care of you. The problem wasn’t your Pastor, the problem was your husband. Now, if you and your family was that commited to your church and the friendship that you claim you had with the Pastor’s wife I find it very hard to believe that no one from the church ever did anything for you and your family. Granted you were 250 miles away and it seems a bit odd that your Pastor and his wife were within 10 minutes of you several times in a 34 day period, that astounds me. Most Pastors, real Pastors, usually seldom if ever go more than 20 or 30 miles from home most days unless they have some unusual situation that causes them to drive this type of distance on either personal or church business. Any Pastor that had a church member that far away, in that bad of a condition, that was a faithful/un-faithful member would have gone by to check on them. You see, I know your type, because my own mother is just like you. She has left several churches because OF stupid accusations just like this. I’ve heard everything from, the Pastors wife didn’t speak to me, the Pastors children aren’t very nice, the Pastors children aren’t very social, the Pastors wife dresses to fancy, the Pastor always looks at me when he mentions sin, they think they are better than us. Oh, I could go on and on but I find very little merits in your story. If you happen to pick up your Bible some time, read Acts 6 when the Apostles appointed the first Deacons. You will read that it was the job of the Deacons to wait tables not the preachers. This doesn’t dismiss the Pastor from visiting but where was the rest of the church for someone so faithful as you and your husband? As someone that preaches hundreds of times each year to couples and families let me recommend something: Get things right with you and the husband and stopping blaming your Pastor because your blaming the wrong man while making excuses for the one that should be. Just another Mote and Beam moment for everyone to see.

        1. Through all the nonsense, he finds a way to get a dig in against Bill Clinton.

          SFL – Blaming anything they can on a Democrat.

        2. I wish. You’d think someone calling themselves moteandbeam and acting like that would have a strong sense of irony, but I think is just a legit a-hole.

        3. SFL- putting all the weird misguided nonsense in one big long pharagraph with poor punctuation and no white space and lots of run on sentences and RANDOMM capitalized words and baming women for everything.

        1. Thanks Buzz! It is funny when someone is right that all people can do is pick apart the silly things like a misspelled word. However, God has a sense of humor: Shoes writes,”RANDOMM capitalized words and baming women for everything.” That’s great! I think it is Random and blaming there Shoes. Thanks for the help.

          I lover Mote and Beam moments like this. :mrgreen:

        2. @MoaB: Dude, you’re making less sense every time you say something. I’d just stop.

        3. Dear Mote and Beam, help me understand!
          “I think it is Random and blaming there Shoes. Thanks for the help.

          I lover Mote and Beam moments like this”

          Dude has to be the neutral bandit all over. Who can it be now?

      1. My God man, are you serious!? Did you even read a word that was written? It was the fact that the PASTOR didn’t make the effort to help her OR her husband. Whatever happened to being the shepherd and bishop? Oh wait, you don’t believe in that verse, since it would require you to be an Anglican.

        You have chosen an apt name, since the Mote and Beam are in your OWN eye. Congratulations on getting one thing right.

      2. MaB,
        If you are serious and you truly pastor a church, I pray that I will never set foot in it! Where is your compassion?

      3. Why are you here? I mean, really. I’ve read your comments and you have accused people of not being Christian and threw a lot of accusations at Darrell, all the while sugar-coating your self-righteousness in words like, “dear friend”, which is an utter slap in the face.

        If you knew, truly knew, ANY of the people on here, you would find out that some of them are a hurting people.

        And, no, they are not to blame.

        So, Moteandbeam, please leave. Your presence here isn’t helping anyone.

        Not one.

        1. Why is he here? Good question. I say it’s so that his dripping self-righteousness becomes yet another reminder why the rest of us did the right thing getting out of the IFB. Can his swelled head still git through a door? ๐Ÿ™„

      4. I am sure we would just love to see things the way you do, but we just can’t get our heads that far up our a$$e$.

        FTR, my husband was in the hospital for over a week once and we never got so much as a phone call from our church. The response was not much better when my mother died.

        Faithful, active members…and nothing.

        I prefer my church now, where if I so much as mention a headache, I get a flood of “Is there anything we can do for you?”

      5. Umglaublich. You managed to read a story of corporate failure to minister and decide that the pastor was being singled out, and with only a small amount of information managed to fix the blame on the husband. Citing FMLA leaves out the fact that not all employees are eligible, and you are not paid for the time taken off. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ Well played.
        It irrelevant the the Church is an “all-volunteer” organization; the Bible makes it clear that we are to care for one another, and her main beef here is that they could have cared for her husband while she was stuck in the hospital. Granted the pastor and his wife were 250 miles away normally, but they were close and didn’t come to see her. And the wife, a friend, only called once. The congregation neglected the couple, and she felt it keenly. Calling her complaint “stupid” and telling her “I know your type” obviates you calling her “Dear Friend.” It appears you are using her as an inanimate prop in your ongoing defense of poor suffering pastors. Insensitive, unappreciated, and inappropriate for this forum. Go practice your sermonizing on this theme of yours elsewhere, please.

  8. You forgot that the IFB pastor took a look and saw it wasn’t anyone who attended HIS church so he hurried on.

    Then there is the parable of the same pastor who came across one of his big $$ tithers pulling up his pants while standing over a crying child from his congregation…. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

        1. “Here we go again. Nothing substantial to say..”

          Funny, but that is what I thought when I saw your name Jonathan. You did not disappoint.

      1. IFB leadership has a higher than normal percentage of pervert child molesters. ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

        1. Are there statistics to back up this claim? I’m disputing your claim, but it just seems like a lot of the claims on this site are taken as gospel fact without any basis in reality. Yes, it is a sad fact that there are child molestors in the IFB, but there are also child molestors in the Catholic church, child molestors in the Methodist church, child molestors in the Presbyterian church…do I need to go on?

        2. Dude, you have no, absolutely no way of proving your claim. As a matter of fact if there is a number out there for such a thing as that it would not be Independant Baptist it would be Rome. Just another statement without foundation or fact but as I always say, “This is another great Mote and Beam moment for all of us to enjoy.”

        3. Jonathan and Mote and Beam: Can you gloss over the fact that many of these child molesting Baptist “pastors” were the first to point fingers at the Catholics when the sex abuse scandals hit there and talk about how evil the dress-wearing papists were?

          You fundy apologizers make me SICK. It’s people like YOU that enable these bastards! I pity your children, if either of you have any.

      2. Well, let’s see…I believe that I would catagorize it as current events actually. That second one isn’t exactly a parable is it? Seems that we know how the IFB pastor would handle that one since we have a current living example with Chuck Phelps.

        1. Do your homework before you put stuff in print. Phelps is on ABC like a duck on a June bug for not being honest. Phelps has cleared his name. The reporter and the girl lied through their teeth and ABC is about to pay big bucks for it. Read Phelps statement and how they left out the fact that this girl wasn’t raped but was in an affair with the guy. Have you know reasoning skills? Don’t you find it awful convenient that the girl “blacked out” when the guy came over to her house. They were in an affair and now she is getting her moment of fame but God will vindicate those that are being wrongly accused and will punish the guilty.

        2. MaB, I’m within three degrees and I doubt that you have ANY idea of what you are talking about.

        3. @moteandbeam, stop calling it an affair. She was a vulnerable young teenager. He was married and in his 30s. You can discuss other aspects of the case, but calling that situation – where an adult supposedly Christian man seduces an already abused child looking for a father figure – an AFFAIR would be a joke if it weren’t so despicable.

        4. If I had infinite time, I would explain the concept of statutory rape here, but if someone doesn’t get it by now, that explanation would not be likely to help.

        5. Wow, your ignorance is epic.
          A grown man cannot have consentual relations with anyone under the age of consent. Now Willis has openly admitted that the child Tina was forced to give up for adoption is his. DNA is a legally recognized forensics tool so he can’t deny the child is his.
          As for Chuckie I’m sure he will do “Whate-v-e-r” it takes to save his name, reputation and ministry. After all he is a man-of-gawd is he not? His reputation and his ministry are what is most important. He didn’t want to see justice done he saved his ministry, and a big tithers to boot.
          Yep ol Chuckie fits our modified parable pretty well. Only he covered up the attack, blamed the victim and sheltered the attacker. If he was sooo pure in all of this and if he had a real heart for Christ he would have taken Tina to the hospital, followed up daily with the police and saw that justice was done… instead of arranging for a place to hide the victim.
          How’s that grab you for a Mote and Beam moment there dead-eye?

  9. That is a great update on that story. Some of the responses detail exactly what I’ve observed. When you are enslaved to a religious addiction, that is truly all that matters just the same as any other addiction.
    ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  10. I was driving along the Coventry road (A45) in the UK when I spotted a man up ahead lying on the ground beneath a bridge. I pulled over and it turned out the man on the ground was a lad of 17 who’d tried to end his life by jumping from the bridge. He had broken legs but his most urgent problem was getting out of danger and getting more help. It was a busy road. Lots of people drove around us and carried on their way. I would say more than a few had those special little fishy symbols in the back of their car, and some of them even slowed their ManOGawd cars down to get a better look. Cowards all.

  11. Darrell has been reading Clarence Jordan’s “Cotton Patch Gospel!” Well done!

    (Anybody who hasn’t read it, please do.)

    1. I second that motion. The Cotton Patch Gospel is well worth reading. Clarence Jordan translated it from the original Greek, by the way.

    1. Because I spent most of my time doing “church Stuff” I thought I had done my part. Such a Pharasee I was……

      1. I know what you mean. Like the Veggie Tales song, I was, “Busy, busy, dreadfully busy, much, much too busy for you.” All my activities were directed toward church programs or at least church people and not toward the needy in my community. I’m so grateful God showed me my error and am praying for His guidance as I seek to change YEARS of habit for a more Christlike approach.

  12. There is something called the “Bystander Effect” where human nature is to assume that “someone” will do something. Because of this, people have actually walked by as women were being raped in public because they all thought someone else should do something. People drive past car wrecks because they assume “someone” probably already called 911. Now that I’m aware of this, I make an effort to NOT fall into that trap. I have witnessed an accident before where a car of elderly people went down into a ravine. Lots of other cars were passing and witnessed it, but kept going. I couldn’t get to the car, so I just called 911. No one else called. They all assumed someone else would. As Christians, I think it’s our responsibility to be aware of this and try to be the “someone” who does something to help people!

  13. While I am assuming that the point of this story is to show that all IFB pastors and deacons are too caught up in being religious to help others, I think that there is a misunderstanding from the original story. I’ve learned that one of the things that preachers love to do is attack the priest and the Levite for not stopping to help the wounded man. Yes, they were wrong for not doing it, but there were extenuating circumstances. Luke says that the man lying in the road appeared to be dead. If a Levite or priest came in contact with a dead body, they were ceremonially unclean and would not have been able to carry out their jobs. Also, the road that the man was found on was incredibly dangerous. Groups of bandits would hide and wait for travelers to come along. Had they stopped, they would have been putting their lives in danger. I’m not saying it was the right thing to do, but those factors need to be considered. We also don’t know what they did after passing by. The story doesn’t tell us if they went to the next town and reported it so that a medical team could go back.

    Darrell’s story is specifically designed to make the pastor and deacon look bad. This was not the case with Jesus’ story. He was not intending to make the priest and Levite look bad, only to show the irony of having the Samaritan stop and help.

    1. the point of this story is to show that all IFB pastors and deacons are too caught up in being religious to help others

      “Are you a ruler in Israel and still you don’t understand these things?”

      You really don’t get it, do you.

      1. Well, according to you, I don’t. Please explain what it is that I’m missing.

        1. Never thought I would actually see some defend the people Jesus was rebuking for being unloving. ๐Ÿ™„ You do realize these are some of the same people who Jesus called “White-Washed Tombs??”

        2. You are wrong. When Jesus was calling people “white washed tombs”, he was speaking to the teachers of the law and the Pharisess. He was not talking to the Levites or the priests (Matthew 23:27).

        3. Jonathan, Boy I cannot believe believe this. I was almost starting to enjoy your drivel but you REALLY don’t get that parable do you? The question was “Who is this man’s neighbor?” By implication the answer was “Certainly NOT the priest and the Levite, The epitomy of what the religeon is supposed to be!” ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        4. What you are not getting, Jonathon, is that NO ONE in the crowd or Jesus himself thought that the priest or the Levite acted as a loving neighbor to the injured man. Only the despised Samaritan showed compassion and fulfilled what Hillel and Gamaliel themselves called the core of the Law – loving your neighbor as yourself. No appeals to lesser obligations or dangers held water with the listeners, and yet you defend them in their disobedience.

      2. WoWWWWWWWWW……I am almsot starting to beleive Jonathan is satire.

        Can anyone really be this dense? Apparently yes–the Pharisees.

        Then and NOW (see: Jonathan)

      1. So using actual fact and an understanding of the Levitical laws would make Jesus weep? I realize that you have a certain matrix that you choose to read the Scripture through and I have mine, but that’s not an interpretation. It’s what the Bible says. So please explain how this would have made Jesus weep.

        1. Your facts about priests and Levites are not necessarily wrong, but the interpretation that Jesus didn’t mean to imply any criticism of them is insupportable, I think. They were more concerned with maintaining their ritual purity (or, as Baptists might say, “preserving their testimony” and “avoiding the appearance of evil”) than with helping a suffering fellow-human. That’s exactly what Jesus was preaching against. That, and the fact that the person who DID act like the victim’s neighbor was someone the victim would have considered an unclean, blaspheming sinner (that’s what the Jews thought of Samaritans).
          Who do you think was closer to the kigndom of heaven, the Levite, the priest, or the Samaritan?

        2. There’s no reason, by the way, to think that it was any easier, more respectable, or safer for the Samaritan to stop and help the wounded man than it would have been for the others. Quite the contrary.

        3. DIdn’t Jesus come to, more or less, throw out the law? Jesus broke the “law” all the time. Everyone is our “neighbor,” despite what some law says. We are commanded to love, no matter if it’s convenient or not.

        4. Jesus was asking them to uphold the levitical laws, in fact, the lawyer who initiated the discussion was the one who listed loving his neighbor as what the law commanded.

          They did not follow the essence of the law, they used it as an excuse and a facade to hide their lawlessness behind and this is the type of religious evil that Jesus regularly displayed his anger towards. The irony is only irony if it was inappropriate for the priest and the levite to ignore the plight of the traveler.

        5. @ Big Gary: Indeed. “What are you doing in here, Samaritan-boy? Who’s that man? What did you do to him? What were the two of you doing? Robbing some decent citizen, I bet. We all know what you Samaritans are like. Whoever he is, he must be something bad to be hanging around with the likes of you. To prison with the both of you!”

        1. Call it what you will. You are simply showing your ignorance. You don’t understand the story and so you are making unfounded claims about what I wrote. If you want to call me a fundy, no big deal. I’m not the one who is missing the point.

        2. “Yes, they were wrong for not doing it, but there were extenuating circumstances. Luke says that the man lying in the road appeared to be dead. If a Levite or priest came in contact with a dead body, they were ceremonially unclean and would not have been able to carry out their jobs. Also, the road that the man was found on was incredibly dangerous. Groups of bandits would hide and wait for travelers to come along. Had they stopped, they would have been putting their lives in danger. Iโ€™m not saying it was the right thing to do, but those factors need to be considered. We also donโ€™t know what they did after passing by. The story doesnโ€™t tell us if they went to the next town and reported it so that a medical team could go back.”
          The fact that you can write all this and still straight-facedly call someone else ignorant is so very sad. I almost feel bad for all the times I’ve trolled you, just because you truly are that blind. Almost.

        3. “You are simply showing your ignorance. You donโ€™t understand the story and so you are making unfounded claims about what I wrote.”

          Wow. I can totally see my error. I’ve been wrong all my life. Please tell me exactly what to think and how to interpret Scripture. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Just kidding. I’m not angry, kind of amused though..

    2. @-Jonathan. Your interpretation of this parable is โ€ฆ irony?! That isnโ€™t in the Bible. It was, โ€œWho is your neighbor?โ€
      Quote: โ€œDarrellโ€™s story is specifically designed to make the pastor and deacon look bad. This was not the case with Jesusโ€™ story. He was not intending to make the priest and Levite look bad, only to show the irony of having the Samaritan stop and help.โ€
      Please give the gospel where this was the explanation of the parable. It wasnโ€™t Matthew; not Mark either. Wait, nope not Luke or John. Do you have a New Gospel?

    3. Ok, I’ll take a shot at this. First, I believe the point of Jesus’ story was to point out what we *should* do, so a preacher attacking the priest and Levite are missing the point, it would seem.

      Second, while I have read from Jewish sites that saving a life is a huge priority in Judaism, you are correct that they would be forbidden to help if he was dead (Lev. 21:1-4). However, you seem to be overlooking the phrase “on the other side” and “half-dead”. There is a big difference between “half-dead” and “appears dead”, a difference which could be discerned by a fairly simple visual examination not requiring contact. The priest and Levite made sure to not get close enough to tell.

      Third, they were already on the dangerous road, so their lives were already in danger. Yes, stopping would have made them more vulnerable, but saving a life is rather important.

      Finally, as already mentioned, the point of the story seems to be more focussed on what we are to do, but if He’s praising the Samaritan, how is that not an implied criticism of the other 2?

      I hope I have made sense and have not been too pedantic in making my points. First-time poster, please be nice ๐Ÿ™‚

      1. Good job, Janet. I agree with you about the danger. The Samaritan was in no less danger than the scribe and Levite, but he chose to put himself in a dangerous position to help someone in need, even to help someone who looked down on him and considered himself better than Samaritans.

    4. While I am assuming that the point of this story is to show that all IFB pastors and deacons are too caught up in being religious to help others,

      You sir, are correct.

      I think that there is a misunderstanding from the original story. Iโ€™ve learned that one of the things that preachers love to do is attack the priest and the Levite for not stopping to help the wounded man. Yes, they were wrong for not doing it, but there were extenuating circumstances.

      Really? Extenuating circumstances? Youโ€™ve gotta be kidding me. Iโ€™ve heard some out of context, crazy, and just plain dumb interpretations of Scripture before, but I never really thought that you could screw this one up. Shame on me! Shoulda know it could be done.

      Luke says that the man lying in the road appeared to be dead. If a Levite or priest came in contact with a dead body, they were ceremonially unclean and would not have been able to carry out their jobs. Also, the road that the man was found on was incredibly dangerous. Groups of bandits would hide and wait for travelers to come along. Had they stopped, they would have been putting their lives in danger.

      Luke 14:5 (KJV) โ€“ โ€œAnd answered them, saying, Which of you shall have an ass or an ox fallen into a pit, and will not straightway pull him out on the sabbath day?โ€ Christ has just healed a man on the Sabbath, and is defending himself to the Pharisees. Thereโ€™s a similar verse in Deuteronomy or Leviticus if my memory serves me well. So obviously, itโ€™s more important for the priest or the Levite to worry about ceremonial cleansing then a dying man. Kinda like itโ€™s more important to worry about soulwinning then the spiritual health of your flock, the physical health of said flock, or the discipleship of the same aforementioned flock?

      Iโ€™m not saying it was the right thing to do, but those factors need to be considered. We also donโ€™t know what they did after passing by. The story doesnโ€™t tell us if they went to the next town and reported it so that a medical team could go back.

      Excuse me?! What are you saying then? Also. You seemed to have missed Innocent Lambโ€™s postโ€ฆ. The Bystander Effect is a legitimate occurrence. Thereโ€™s been all kinds of studies about it. And youโ€™re adding to Scripture. Sola Scriptura. Check it out. Itโ€™s an amazing way to live.

      Darrellโ€™s story is specifically designed to make the pastor and deacon look bad.

      Darrellโ€™s story was not required to make them look bad. They already do. The story is based on real life happenings. Maybe not in Darrellโ€™s life, I donโ€™t know him, but itโ€™s been true in mine.

      This was not the case with Jesusโ€™ story. He was not intending to make the priest and Levite look bad, only to show the irony of having the Samaritan stop and help.

      I believe you are extremely incorrect. Jesus shows two bad examples and one good example. He obviously meant to make a point with the Samaritan, but obviously didnโ€™t want us to take away anything from the bad examples? (BS ALERT!!!!!) Wow. Just wow.

      1. I’m sorry. I missed the part where I added to Scripture. Please enlighten me as to where I added to Scripture.

        And, for the record, I never said that I agreed with what the priest and the Levite did. Should they have stopped…absolutely. The point that I’m trying to make is that, rather than getting up on your high horse and acting so self-righteous, you need to take into account the circumstances. It is very easy to say that you would stop and help, but you have never been in that situation. You have never been in a situation where stopping to help would jeopardize your livelihood, isolate you from your family for an extended period of time, and possibly put your life in danger. So before you start pointing fingers, you had better make sure you know what you are talking about.

        Everyone wants to blow me up because you don’t agree with what I said, but no one wants to truly look at the situation.

        1. I think you may have missed my post above, so I’ll repeat a piece here and add a bit. Just because we know what we should do, doesn’t mean we will. I hope I would stop in that situation, but I know from past experience with the “bystander effect” and concerns for my own safety as a female that I probably wouldn’t, to my shame. So I am guilty.

          However, you keep emphasizing the negative effects of touching a dead body for the priest and Levite. I agree, but the guy wasn’t dead. They did not have to touch him to determine this, they simply needed to get close enough to get a good look. Hence the specific addition of “on the other side” in describing their avoidance of the situation altogether.

        2. Further proof that Jonny here just doesn’t get it. Gotta say, J-man, before today, there was probably a handful of folks around here who still had a little respect for you. This post has done more to put your true colors on display than a year’s worth of my best trolling.

          Well done, Darrell. Talk about killing two birds with one stone…

        3. Iโ€™m sorry. I missed the part where I added to Scripture. Please enlighten me as to where I added to Scripture.

          You added to scripture by adding your assumptions as to what the men had done. Read the text. Donโ€™t assume.

          And, for the record, I never said that I agreed with what the priest and the Levite did. Should they have stoppedโ€ฆabsolutely. The point that Iโ€™m trying to make is that, rather than getting up on your high horse and acting so self-righteous, you need to take into account the circumstances. It is very easy to say that you would stop and help, but you have never been in that situation. You have never been in a situation where stopping to help would jeopardize your livelihood, isolate you from your family for an extended period of time, and possibly put your life in danger. So before you start pointing fingers, you had better make sure you know what you are talking about.

          Sir, I am taking into account the circumstances. I brought up the bystander affect. Iโ€™m bringing out the point that the circumstances are irrelevant. What they did was wrong. Why youโ€™re making excuses for them I cannot fathom. Definition of excuse by my high school shop teacher: Skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie. Just like a jelly donut. I just found that humorousโ€ฆ Thought Iโ€™d include it. Anyhow. Showing the love that they should have is exactly the opposite of what they did. Circumstances are no excuse. Would I do the same? I sincerely hope and pray that I would not.

          Everyone wants to blow me up because you donโ€™t agree with what I said, but no one wants to truly look at the situation.

          At this point, however, youโ€™ve diverted all discussion from the actual post. Weโ€™ve got ad hominem attacks on you, youโ€™ve successfully set up a straw man, and the discussion is spiraling downward. The point was that people facing few consequences outside of a loss of time will not visit the sick, disciple the weak, or give to the poor. What they will do is build themselves up with โ€œSoulwinningโ€ when their role as the pastor is to shepherd the flock. Yes, spreading the gospel is part of that, but James 1:27 clearly states โ€œPure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.โ€ Thatโ€™s something all of us could work on.

        4. While it may be true that most of us unfortunately would be guilty of the “bystander effect” I believe (since it is noted in Scripture as I read it) that pastors (read: priests and Levites in this context) are held to a higher standard in God’s eyes. Their actions are very public, as they are public figures and must be ABOVE BLAME to properly be representing God. While we are all “little Christs” and should represent God, even more so with pastors. “Not all of you should become teachers.”

          This is the biggest issue I have with the Phelps case; The he said/she said has become unimportant to me, because that is the law’s place to sort out etc. BUT the fact that Phelps’ representation of Christ has so tarnished the world’s view of our Jesus means that he should no longer be allowed to pastor. The Bible CLEARLY SAYS (and yes, I just looked it up) that the shepherd must be above reproach and blameless. I don’t think either of these things could be said of Phelps. Or the priest and the Levite.

    5. Jonathan,

      I get what you’re saying (I mean that I understand you), but I would second Darrell’s comment that you are missing the point of Jesus’ parable. Are you saying that someone should keep these rules over helping a hurting person? Because that is not what Jesus did. The Pharisees regularly condemned Jesus for breaking the rules–rules they kept with great diligence. They complained when he ate with sinners and publicans, and they threw a fit when he healed people on the Sabbath. They were “doing the right thing” at least in their mind by keeping their religious rules, but what did Jesus tell them?

      Matthew 9:13 “Go and learn what this means, โ€˜I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'”

      A huge part of my leaving fundamentalism has been due to my “learning what this means.”

      If someone refuses to help the broken and hurting because they are trying to please God/do right by obeying a rule, they have missed the point and they have true Christianity backwards. This is very evident by Jesus’ life and his condemnation of those who lived this way.

      Jesus told the pharisees that a man would help even his oxen if they fell in a pit on the Sabbath. These “righteous” leaders wouldn’t help a fellow human being, and in their twisted minds they were honoring God with that?? How despicable and wrong.

      1. The problem is that you are attempting to apply Christian principles to a story that happened before Christianity existed. You can’t expect the priest and Levite to follow a belief system that didn’t exist. If it were you or I in the situation, Christian principles would apply, but to put our understanding of the situation into a context where it doesn’t apply does not make sense.

        1. Saving a life when you have a chance is just a much a duty for Jews as it is for Christians.

        2. Wow. Poor Jesus, then–what an idiot he was to tell that story! Didn’t he know Christianity wasn’t around then?!

          Umm, the whole point of Jesus telling that story and many of the other things he told the Jews and the Pharisees was to introduce Christianity to them! Yes, these concepts were totally foreign to them and it took many of them years to understand it (even some of his disciples!), but that was the whole point to his ministry on earth. There is NO way he did not intend that parable to show them the fallacies of their practices and how his way–of love, mercy, and grace–was infinitely better than theirs.

        3. Oh, no, Jonathan. God has never changed. Lev. 19:18 says to love your neighbor as yourself. Isaiah 1:11- 17 says, “‘The multitude of your sacrificesโ€” what are they to me?โ€ says the Lord.
          โ€œI have more than enough of burnt offerings,
          of rams and the fat of fattened animals;I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.
          … Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me… Stop doing wrong; learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed.”

          Jesus’ listeners KNEW that they should have helped a hurt man on the side of the road. And of course the scribe and the Levite had reasons for not doing so; everyone has reasons for what they choose to do or not do. But their reasons are bogus in the eyes of God. So what if they would have been unclean for a week and not been able to do their temple duty (their job). They should have been willing to deny themselves to help someone in need. They should have been willing to suffer financial loss for another. Their time and their money was not more important than the Samaritan’s; they just thought it was.

        4. “The problem is that you are attempting to apply Christian principles to a story that happened before Christianity existed. You canโ€™t expect the priest and Levite to follow a belief system that didnโ€™t exist.”

          What part of “thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Lev. 19:18) didn’t EXIST? โ“

        5. The story of the Good Samaritan is so universal that we even have secular laws called Good Samaritan laws. Even the Seinfeld show dealt with this. If the “world” can understand what Jesus meant with this parable then certainly you can.

    6. Ok Jonathon, I’ll bite. First of all, the person beaten and lying on the side of the rode wasn’t dead yet!!!!! When Jesus tells this story, do you think that his point is to try to excuse the Priest and Levite because he appeared to be dead but wasn’t or that it was just too dangerous? No….it was to answer the question from a teacher of the law that was trying to justify himself while vividly explaining what it meant to love your neighbor as yourself, while pointing out the racial prejudice that the lawyer had. Yes, it may be interesting that the Priest and Levite could not touch a dead body, but that is not the main point of the text….especially when we realize that the person wasn’t dead yet. As I write about this, I am getting these weird Monty Python images of “Bring out your dead”…..Sorry about that……. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

      1. First off, spell my name correctly. Second, I didn’t say that was the point of the story. I never made that claim. The main point of the story is that we should be willing to pursue others with the same love that the father in the Prodigal son story ran to his son. Regardless of what they look like or how they act, we should chase them down and care for them with that kind of passion and love. That is the point of Jesus’ story. I was simply…forget it, you all are too far gone to understand. At this point, anything I say is going to be attacked.

        1. “First off, spell my name correctly.”
          Not doing yourself any favors with the self-possessed impression today, huh?

        2. @Scorpio, it would appear that you are stalking me. I appreciate the compliment.

        3. “First off, spell my name correctly” <—– that's letter of the law if ever I saw it. I guess that goes in line with your understanding of the post. Just purely making an observation.

        4. I don’t know Joel but I really don’t think he meant to misspell your name. Chill.

          So, since you brought it up, Tell us what you think the Prodigal Son is about? Is it really about the PRODIGAL?? I don’t think so.

        5. Polished, I am the, um I mean my gravatar is the “blow up doll pilot”. Although I prefer to be called an inflatable auto-pilot.

          Both you and Jeff get 2 bags of peanuts. :mrgreen:

        6. Jonathan or John? Is that you John? If not you are true to your namesake. You sound so much like the original John it’s freaky. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        7. Nah–John was never this dense or deragatory.

          Methinks Jonathan is a very young–possible teen or maybe 1st semester bible collge age–son of a preacher or deacon with vry little real world experience if any.

          He lives off the pablum and defends his heroes no matter the cost.

          ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

        8. “He lives off the pablum and defends his heroes no matter the cost.”

          Tee hee hee. Pablum is a fun word.

        9. @ Theo, “Methinks Jonathan is a very youngโ€“possible teen or maybe 1st semester bible collge ageโ€“son of a preacher or deacon with vry little real world experience if any.

          He lives off the pablum and defends his heroes no matter the cost.”

          I had the same thought yesterday.

        10. :mrgreen: Yes it is

          not very often you get to use that word in a sentence–but it certainly fits here

          I miss the old John in comparisson.

    7. Up next from Jonathan: A defense of Lot having sex with his daughters (he had a bad day, okay? The city that he lived in was wiped out, and his wife was turned into salt. I’m sure you think you would have handled it better, huh?).

        1. Don’t forget…Lot was seduced by his daughters after they got him drunk! I’m sure he didn’t know he was drinking alcoholic wine.

        2. And Jonathan called me depraved. I guess I actually am, though, since I laughed at your comment. :mrgreen:

      1. It’s really too bad that your mind is so depraved that you jumped to such an example. Where in my post did I give any hint of such nonsense? The fact that you would come up with such a lewd example shows the condition of your heart.

        1. Jonathan, there is a literary device that you may wish to look up: it’s called hyperbole.

          It’s almost as if you are a parody of yourself. Sort of like William Shatner. Except Shatner is funny when he does it.

        2. Okay, fine. So as not to offend Jonathan’s delicate sensibilities…

          Up next, Jonathan defends David’s decision to have Bathsheba’s husband killed in battle.

          There, is that better?

        3. Careful, man, hyperbole doesn’t jive with a literal interpretation. You gotta go slow for our dispensational friends.

    8. Jonathan, I get what you’re saying. I really do. But think about this for a minute: even if the guy was dead, the Levite and priest, after investigating, could ceremonially cleanse themselves again. But if he was injured and they allowed him to die, there’s no way to recover from that. No way at all. He’d be dead, all so that they could keep themselves ceremonially clean. By contrasting their behavior to that of the Samaritan, Jesus was giving them a good facepalm, wake-up-already kind of moment. Keep in mind that a typical religious leader at that time would often pray, “Thank you, God, for not letting me be born as a dog, a Gentile, or a woman.”

      1. Not to mention that a Jew was and is allowed to break a commandment if the alternative is death for themselves or someone else. Jewish tradition also expects… no, _demands_ proper respect for the dead. Whether the guy was dead or alive, he deserved better treatment than he got from the priest or the Levite.

        The Fundy defenders are turning the parable on its head. The only interpretation I’ve heard of that missed the point even more than this is the one when a pastor started using the parable to talk about bad experiences with Jews. Talk about not only missing the point, but also turning the meaning of the parable completely around. Oh yeah, the man who wrote about this pastor’s anti-Semitism was a Jewish-born Christian.

    9. Jonathan said: “If a Levite or priest came in contact with a dead body, they were ceremonially unclean and would not have been able to carry out their jobs.”

      You make it sound like they would be unclean forever and kicked out of Israel for touching a dead body. Wasn’t the reality that they would be ceremonially unclean for a day? I’m sure that they could have found someone to cover for them for a day, especially if it was for a good reason, such as, you know, saving a guy’s life.

      Do you spout this kind of crap at your congregation, or do you save it just for us?

      1. That’s what I thought at first too, a day of uncleanness. In the interest of accuracy, I looked it up, and the uncleanness is 7 days (Num. 19:11), which, as Jonathan says elsewhere, might be considered a bit of a long time to be away from family.

      2. Oh, yes, sorry, it was also specifically forbidden for priests (Lev. 21:1-4). But as I keep pointing out, they didn’t have to touch him to determine he was alive and not dead, so problem solved.

        1. I’m so glad my Jesus reached out to touch the blind, the lame, the wounded, the woman with the flow of blood. “Unclean! Unclean!” cry the Pharisees and lift their robes away, but Jesus touched them – and He touched me. Now I want to be like Him.

        2. Hindsight is 20/20. We have the ability to look at the big picture as it is written in the Scripture. Everyone here is reading these stories through their 21st century matrices. You’re right…Jesus did touch the unclean and the Pharisees refused. The point that you are missing is that the Pharisees had no idea that Jesus was the fulfillment of the law. It’s easy for us to attack them because we know the whole story and they didn’t. I’m not defending their actions…I’m simply looking at things from their perspective.

          The Pharisees kept the law and made additional laws for a very specific reason: After years of failing to keep God’s laws and ending up in the exile, the Pharisees started to keep all of the laws and making new ones because they had no desire to return to the exile. Their intentions started out purely, but got corrupted, as all good intentions do.

        3. Jonathan, Please respond to Jesus’ own interpetation of the Sameritan parable “Woh was this mans’ neighbor?” OBVIOUSLY condemning the Priest and Levite.

        4. “Iโ€™m simply looking at things from their perspective.”

          You really need to stop indicting yourself. Any reputation you had left here hit rock-bottom a while ago and promptly started digging.

        5. @Mark Thomas, you are amazingly brave from behind your keyboard. Seeing as I doubt we will ever cross paths (and wouldn’t know each other if we did), do you really think I care what you think? What your opinion of me means absolutely nothing. I can’t help it if you have your head so far up your butt that you won’t even consider a different opinion than your own (and I’m sure you think the same of me). However, it would be nice if you would shut your mouth once in a while. I am often called a troll, but you are starting to become the opitome of one.

        6. Nah, I’m not brave. I’m just calling you what you are. Maybe you missed it, but every time you trouble yourself to hop off your horse and talk like everyone else here, I leave you alone or actually converse with you.

        7. @Jonathan said, “The point that you are missing is that the Pharisees had no idea that Jesus was the fulfillment of the law. Itโ€™s easy for us to attack them because we know the whole story and they didnโ€™t. Iโ€™m not defending their actionsโ€ฆIโ€™m simply looking at things from their perspective.”

          John 1:9-11 – “The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.”

          John 3:19-21 – “This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”

          Nicodemus, a Pharisee, came to Christ; most of the Pharisees did not. God did not excuse them or try to explain away why they felt the way they did. They were WRONG; they were full of sin and pride and attempts to justify themselves instead of humbling themselves.

        8. I have to ask again because I don’t remember getting an answer before. You must be really proud of that picture as much as you are flashing it around. That’s your sister, isn’t it? If not your sister, maybe your girlfriend or, to give you the benefit of the doubt, someone you dated in college?

        9. When Jesus sent out his disciples to spread his message, He said in Matt. 10:14-15, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town.” Those who rejected Christ, whatever their reason, are without excuse.

        10. But here’s the thing we know that the priest was not “on Duty” once a priest was concencrated for his duties he did not leave the temple. If he was going to the temple for his time then there would be a cleansing that he would have to go through anyway so why not stop and render assistance? If coming from the temple at the end of his duties then why not stop it wouldn’t matter.
          But the parable doen’t say that he wasn’t breathing, or moaning, or pleading for help… so the dead body theory is just a red herring.

        11. Looking at it from their perspective? Next up Jon’s rendition of “Judas” by Lady Gaga

        12. And then for an encore- Sympathy for the Devil.. I would say by the Stones but GnR’s rendition was better.

        13. Jon (spelling intentional), if the priests, Levites, and pharisees had read the Old Testament, they could not have missed that Christ was the fulfillment of the law. In his first “sermon” He said “This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.” Are you telling me that no one checked to see what He was claiming? Are you saying that no-one bothered to check the accuracy of His statements concerning fulfilled prophecy? In reality, it was willful ignorance: “If we don’t look it up, we can’t know, and if we don’t know, we can’t be held accountable”

        14. Jonathan in all his wisdom says: “The Pharisees kept the law and made additional laws for a very specific reason: After years of failing to keep Godโ€™s laws and ending up in the exile, the Pharisees started to keep all of the laws and making new ones because they had no desire to return to the exile.”

          The Pharisees didn’t exist until after the Maccabean Revolt.

        15. @Joshua, thank you for adding to the conversation in a productive manner. Your tone and comment were very exemplary of the love God wants us to show each other.

        16. @Jonathan: My pleasure. Next time, if you want to make claims about how well you know the historical context of the Pharisees, at least get the chronology right. Try to shoot for the same century, OK?

        17. @Joshua, if you would be so kind, I would love to see some validation of your claims. Do you have an article I can read or a text you can point me to? I ask because there are so many claims on this site that are generally incorrect (mine, as you so graciously pointed out, allegedly fall into that category), that I’m going to be skeptical of your claims until you can offer some actual proof.

        18. I’m not doing your homework for you. Do a Google search for “origin of the Pharisees.”

        19. @ Jonathan and Mark Thomas
          This is a place for those who have been hurt by Fundamentalism to try to heal. It is not a place for childish banter about trollishness and pictures of trolls being girlfriends. I swear I just hear a conversation like that today in my HIGH SCHOOL. Shocker?
          Your bantering is becoming rather frustrating to me because all I want to read is about God’s LOVE and GRACE and how to find it and let Him fill my life with it. Yes, I’ve been hurt as so many of us have, but taking it out on others will help no one.
          Thank you, and with one last comment I post:
          GOD ROCKS.
          The End. <3 <3

    10. The Good Samaritan is a beautiful parable with a pretty straight-forward message. Even little children hear it and understand which of the 3 did the right thing- the thing Jesus wants us to do. We are ALL guilty of behaving like the priest and the levite at one time or another, but that’s not reason to justify it. The correct response would be to RECOGNIZE it and adjust our behavior and heart accordingly.

      1. Yes. There is a curious mixture of anger and shame in my heart – anger at the heart hearts who reject Jesus’ teachings for man made religion, and shame at the hardness of my own heart. One thing about Jesus – he fills us with hope and exposes our idols all at once.

    11. Wow…this is new one on me. I’ve never seen a Levite or Priest apologist take on this parable before. I’m truly amazed…and that doesn’t happen much on the internet these days.

      1. It’s a classic children’s technique. It’s called “I’m gonna be difficult!”

  14. I just lived through this very issue personally within the last month with the death of my mother. I won’t go into details but suffice to say Darrell’s scenario played out

  15. I just lived through this very issue personally within the last month with the death of my mother. I won’t go into details but suffice to say Darrell’s scenario played out TO THE LETTER. Except my good Samaritan was a female United Methodist minister

  16. Bravo Darrell. The sad thing is, that this scenario would most likely go the way you wrote it.

  17. The parable is a profound one for me, because there have been a few times when I was in bad trouble, and the people who helped me were not the ones I would have thought of as “my people” or as natural allies. They were not among what my narrow view of things considered to be the chosen people; they were outsiders who happened to have God’s love in their hearts (whether or not they used the words “God” or “love”).

  18. I have a colleague that I spoke to regarding something similar last week. It took this to get them to see the light.

    She had major complications with a pregnancy. The doctors had told her that she would likely die if she gave birth, and that the baby had very little chance to live. They made the decision to have the baby, and trusted God.

    The baby was born, and although there were complications, the mother was expected to make it. After a 14 day hospital stay, no one from their church came to visit. Her mother fervently called and asked someone to show up and they didn’t. After a couple weeks, she went home without her baby, still thinking the baby didn’t have a chance to live, and no one showed up.

    Finally a deacon came to their house to pray with them, but it was too little too late. The baby ended up making it (and is now a vibrant 4 year old that is completely healthy). They had the good enough sense to get out of the church.

  19. In June 07 I was involved in a bad motorcycle accident and laying in the road with my left leg twisted and broken and mangled in the wreckage of my bike, when this lady came running right into the fray, grabbed my hand and started talking to me, I was about to lose consciousness because of the pain, and I asked the lady if she could get someone to get my leg out of the wreckage, the little lady started barking some orders to some of the men standing around and they quickly got the bike off of me. Anyway I found out later that the “lady” was a stripper, but I know that God used a stripper to help me when I needed it most, and I will never forget that.

    1. What a wonderful illustration of Jesus’ question, “Who was this man’s neighbor?”

    2. “Then the righteous will answer him, โ€˜Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?โ€™ The King will reply, โ€˜Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'” -Matthew 25

      I think there’s a corollary here. The response of the righteous to being let into heaven suggests they weren’t expecting it. Meaning there’ll be a lot of people in heaven who weren’t expecting to be there. People like an unclean Samaritan and an atheist, lesbian Democrat who taught Womenโ€™s Studies at the local community college and drove a Prius … or a stripper who helped a dying man out of twisted wreckage.

      Just sayin’.

      1. No, I’m sorry to disagree with you (especially because you are such a nice guy), but you couldn’t be more wrong. The Bible is very clear that homosexuality is a sin. An individual who is a Christian has a new nature and the old nature is dead. Sin no longer has power over that individual. If I am saved, I will no longer have a desire to sin…I will want to put those things away. I will not want to continue in willful sin. Being in a homosexual relationship is a willful sin, just as looking at porn is a willful sin and having an attitude of rebellion or ingratitude. Continuing to be in willful sin is a very clear indication that repentance never occurred and salvation was never granted.

        No one will be surprised to be in heaven, but a lot of folks will be surprised that they aren’t there.

        1. Jonny, I hope we disagree. I don’t want a religion that needs to make excuses for “extenuating circumstances.” You keep on fightin’ for the faith, man.

        2. I almst hat to say that I agree with you but I do, with the exception that some MAY find it suprising to be in heaven. Also, I dissagree that “If I am saved, I will no longer have a desire to sinโ€ฆI will want to put those things away.” While the desire to put them away is correct to say that the desire goes away denies reality. Even Paul said “Who shall deliver me from this body of death?” And, yes, Thanks be through Christ our Lord but that is a daily walk.

        3. Honestly, tlorz2, the idea doesn’t jive with the “doctrine” I grew up with either. But read Matthew 25:31-46 and tell me what the source for their confusion is. The King’s wording seems pretty clear…

        4. Really? You have no desire to sin? You are never tempted?

          I agree that we are no longer held captive by our sin but we will still have the desire.

          Maybe I’m misunderstanding what you are trying to say…

        5. @ Mark Thomas, My earlier reply was directed at Jonathan but since you asked; I think the confusion expressed is that they helped Jesus, not that they are in heaven. Guess I might have to side with Jon on that one too. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        6. No, you read him right. Jonny continues to be a living example of self-contradiction. How many lustful thoughts you had this week, Jonny-boy? Me, I’ve committed over 9000 sins this year. What’s that mean for me, huh? I’m toast, right?

        7. @tlorz2: Eh, ok. At least you’re not disagreeable about it. Sorry, but that far down in a comment tree, it’s hard to tell who’s replying to whom. It was my original comment, after all.

        8. Is that why Paul says paraphrasing here “the things I should do I don’t and the things I shouldn’t do I do “.

          If we are believers we are redeemed, BUT not yet restored. We will still sin and we will still want to sin. Only when we are restored will we no longer have the desire to sin.

        9. @Mark, it saddens me that you would so gleefully discuss your sin. The amount of sin that you commit should not be a badge of honor or something that you would even joke about. The fact that you commit 9000 lustful thoughts should sicken you and bring you to your knees.

          I know we have our disagreements and, no, I’m not saying that I’m perfect by any stretch of the imagination. However, I will say that your attitude toward your sin should cause you to pause and consider the condition of your heart. I’m not trying to come across as holier-than-thou or anything like that. Sin is a disgusting vile thing and not something that should be taken lightly. When sin becomes something that we can make jokes about, we are too far gone to realize it.

        10. Wow, so IF I’m saved I’ll no longer have any desire to sin, huh? That’s so weird, because I know I’m saved, yet I have the desire to sin every time I think about what my fundy ex husband did to me. The thing is, I just choose NOT to act on it! Funny, I’ve never encountered any of these people walking around who no longer have any desire to sin. Guess I don’t run into many saved folks??? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        11. The fact that you commit 9000 lustful thoughts should sicken you and bring you to your knees.

          How come fundies add a weird sexual subtext to everything? Mark didn’t specify 9k lustful thoughts, just sins. Bring him to his knees? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ OK then… Yeah, yeah, you didn’t mean it like that – heard that one before.

          BTW: Special! Today only! You can have *three* free sins! http://stevebrownetc.com/three-free-sins/

        12. @Naomi, I think you are attempting to parse Jonathan’s words in order to prove your own ridiculous point. If you look at the comments, Mark Thomas asked Jonathan about lustful thoughts, then in the very next statement made reference to his own 9,000 sins. I think the connection is fairly obvious, but given your tone, I guess you would want to crucify Jonathan, especially now that Darrell has banned him and he can’t defend himself. Kind of easy to kick a target when he’s down right? Isn’t that something that Fundies like?

        13. @Mark – Well just let me know if you stop by. The wardens still sit desk at the front doors of the prisons. They still leave the cell doors unlocked though.

        14. “If I am saved, I will no longer have a desire to sinโ€ฆI will want to put those things away.”
          Either you’re wrong about the clear-cut nature of the New Man, or there are a lot fewer truly saved individuals out there tan anyone thought. I don’t think Paul (formerly Saul of Tarsus) makes your cut.
          Or you’re making assumptions about other people’s desires and struggles that you have insufficient data for. Nah….

      2. I heard something long ago that I’ve never forgotten: Everybody is shocked on the other side of the veil. Everybody realizes that they got something drastically wrong. Pick any saint you like and imagine them staring at the reality of Heaven in dismay, until Jesus hands them a tall glass of something strong and says sympathetically, “I know, but it’s okay.”

    3. Great post by Darrell, crazy amount of rants as to it’s meaning, Greg, for me at least, you totally brought it home. Thanks.

  20. It’s kinda funny, because I was thinking about this story (well, the original one) just the other day. It’s just so true to life. So often the religious leaders and the supposedly religious “commoners” are absolutely blind to the real needs around them and their real responsibilities as a Christian.

  21. Much truth here. We need to keep constant guards on our hearts. And yet, even if the one who was so different, the one we don’t think of as the “neigbor,” helps this man and truly does the work of a neighbor, still she needs a Savior. We can and should learn from each other – and especially from the parables of Christ (which is nicely updated here), but we can’t stop at that and say that this woman’s soul is secure because she took the right actions. And in the meantime we must so closely examine our own souls, because if our souls are secure in Christ, we should be hoisting that bloody soul onto our own donkey.

    1. “we canโ€™t stop at that and say that this womanโ€™s soul is secure because she took the right actions. ”

      That’s true. But salvation was not really what the story was intended to demonstrate. It’s not that the woman was saved by helping but rather that she (as someone with whom the average fundamentalist would have no dealings) demonstrated a more Christ-like attitude than those who the fundamentalists would hold up as being “godly.” That’s the irony and that’s the point.

        1. Not quite sure why you asked (not actively seeking specific types of people out for “friendship/soul-winning” isn’t the same as refusing to be their friend when the opportunity presents itself). In the course of normal life, I have picked up a Satanist and 2 gay men that I would consider casual friends, though it’s not nice to pigeonhole. Sorry, none of them drive, so can’t comment on the Prius.

        2. I asked because Darrell is so quick to point out that fundys would refuse contact with the lesbian atheist and I was curious to know how many of atheist lesbians he is friends with. It is easy to point out the failures in others, but harder to actually live out. And, before you ask, I have many such individuals that I count as my friends. Maybe not lesbian atheists, but other folks who might not feel comfortable in a church.

        3. Hey Jonathan, Did you go to LU? I thought I read that some where on here. I only ask cause I did. I understand your points on this but I must say I have many Prius driving lesbian, gay, tree hugging hippy and atheist friends whom I witness to through my life and Gods Word. They all know and respect where I stand even though my atheist friends completely disagree. I’m still working on them. However to Darrell’s point, I was visiting a church and went to Sunday School there. In the class, I witnessed a Christian (Baptist) by his own testimony was talking to a random person in community. He discovered the person was gay and he told them God wanted nothing to do with them…he could even talk to them and walked away. Then during the same class the sunday school teacher, while teaching a lesson in James (about our sharp speech non the less) started making fun of the hippy freaks which I took offense…see some of my closest family and friends are hippy “freaks”

        4. @Darrell, I respect your thoughts. It is sad that so many Christians do not feel the same way you (and I, believe it or not) do. In fact, I have had many unpleasant conversations with other Christians about this very issue. It disgusts me the way that we treat homosexuals one way and individuals who are having sex outside of marriage another.

        5. @Wheels, I’m sorry that you had to experience that. Not sure what that had to do with LU, but, yes, I went to LU for grad school and am currently enrolled at LBTS. Not all fundys or quasi-fundys (as I guess I would be considered) act the way that this site would characterize us.

        6. Jonathan, The question about LU was a separate thought…I know it has nothing to do with this topic. I went there years ago and I heard you did, just wondering…so sorry I asked Sir!

        7. “It disgusts me the way that we treat homosexuals one way and individuals who are having sex outside of marriage another.”

          How about we try loving everyone as we love ourselves instead of treating them differently based on how sinful we think they might be? ๐Ÿ™„

        8. Jonathan–I’ve said it before and now I’ll say it to YOU. I’d rather be in a room with a dozen lesbians (female used because I am one) than a dozen Baptist preachers.

          Why?

          Because you can turn your back on the lesbians without getting a knife in it.

          No jokes about “turning your back” on gays, please. You’ve shown yourself to be childish enough for one day. And for the record, I am a happily married woman.

          I have to wonder how many of these Baptist preachers will hear “Away from me, workers of iniquity, I never knew ye” instead of the “Well done good and faithful servant” they’re expecting when they see Jesus.

        9. โ€œIt disgusts me the way that we treat homosexuals one way and individuals who are having sex outside of marriage another.โ€

          I don’t really think either is necessarily worthy of condemnation.

          But I always get annoyed when I hear someone condemn gay people for not getting married. Until same-sex marriage is permitted, that’s not a fair criticism.
          I know that’s not what you were saying; it just made me think of it.

        10. Whatever the number, more is better.

          But I have a lesbian Christian friend; which is not possible in your world.

        11. Can I count atheists who wear buttons that say, “Don’t assume I’m straight?”

      1. “…Thatโ€™s the irony and thatโ€™s the point.”

        And sadly the irony and point of this post and of SFL in general is completely lost on some people.

      2. Right Darrell, Neither the Biblical parable nor this one is about the one who helped but the ones who didn’t and the condition of THIER hearts.

        1. I actually think the parable is more about the man who was robbed and beaten. Help came from one he considered an enemy of both himself and God, not from those he thought were among the Chosen People.

    2. I really don’t think the original story suggests that the Good Samaritan still “needs a saviour”. That is importing a whole lot of theology into Jesus’ teaching. In the context, Jesus is asked what one has to do to have eternal life. The answer provided from the law is to love God and love neighbour. Jesus says do this and you will live. The Samaritan is an example of someone doing just that. I think the clear implication is that the Samaritan is someone who possesses eternal life. I prefer to let the text stand rather than to place it into a Romans Road box.

      1. That would be nice but there is a whole corporate business structure built on the Romans Road, so it would be hard to compete with the mere words of Jesus.

        1. Too true. Plus, it would make a boring gospel tract with no Romans Road or Four Spiritual Laws.

  22. And I see more typos… yikes… in my comment. Anyway, sorry, but I hope my point is made.

    1. Understood! And it is true: doing kind deeds does not equal believing in Christ. I truly believe the Bible teaches that our faith must be in Christ. But as James tells us, faith without works is dead. So any “Christian” who would use excuses however holy to avoid helping someone in need ought to examine himself to see if he is in the faith, because as you said, we “Christ-followers” should be putting the man’s battered body up on our own donkey.

      1. Nah–John was never this dense and alot more lighthearteded/fun.

        Also isn’t John a Pastor? I thought Jonathan said he was student somehwere.

  23. This reminds me of the 2004 hurricane season. The church we attended at the time had a sign something like this on the doors: this shelter is for church members and regular attenders only. The nearest public shelter is…. Here are directions ….

    1. That’s really messed up. I’m sorry to hear that the church did that. It saddens me to know that there is such nonsense like that in the world.

      1. Thank you, Jonathan, for the compassionate words. Everyone we meet is struggling or has struggled with hurt of some kind or other (including you, I am certain. A compassionate word or two often sparks the beginning of healing for someone.

        1. Despite the fact that I am probably universally hated, especially because my refusal to ridicule and defame fundamentalism, I am not a callous jerk. I do care for the poor. I am concerned with meeting the needs of individuals, just as I am concerned with introducing them to the kingdom of God so that they are given the opportunity to be reconciled to Christ.

        2. J-baby, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad could have said that, and I wouldn’t believe him either.

        3. Jonathan, And here I thought you were callous. :mrgreen:

          We don’t hate you. We hate to be reminded of the abuses that the IFB has perpetrated on us. For years many of us were told how to think, how to believe, who to vote for, what groups of people (including Christians) were on their way to hell, that liberalism was demonic, the rapture was going to happen this year well if not this year within 5 years anyway, how to dress, what music to listen to etc. etc. etc.
          And then some of us found out about grace and not man-made laws, some of us found out that life doesn’t end if one abandons christianity altogether. But we found out one thing….we were free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last!!!! We don’t have to be told how to think or behave anymore.
          SFL is a satirical look at fundyland. Those of us recovering from the abuse can come here and laugh. We can comment and say things that are not necessarily approved by an IFB pastor. Maybe those comments include ridicule. You should keep that in mind when commenting here. We are not here to be witnessed to, judged or otherwise talked to like we were in the IFB. Your comments (a lot of them anyway) drip with the fundyism we are all sick and tired of. We don’t want to hear it anymore. We don’t have to hear it anymore.
          Keep posting all you want, but as long as you sound fundy, your comments will not be allowed to stand. All of us have a functioning radar for fundies (fundar) and we will not sit idly by while someone attempts to pass judgement while coming across as holier-than-thou. We had enough of that in the IFB.

          OK. I’m done now. I need a welch’s grape juice. ๐Ÿ˜†

        4. @Scorpio, that was the most holier-than-thou rant against holier-than-thou attitudes I have ever read. Thank you for making me smile.

        5. Actually, I thought it was pretty transparent. Ah, transparency… can’t say I’ve ever seen that out of you, Jonny-boy.

        6. Jonathan, Scorpio was just trying to explain what we’re doing here and why your comments often raise ire.

        7. AWWW FRIK!! My tongue won’t come out of my blasted cheek! Dang it! Yeah. Still don’t really get that phrase…….. ๐Ÿ˜†

        1. You are a very nasty person, aren’t you? I’m sorry that you can’t handle someone who has a different perspective on things without coming at them with your hatred. I’m sorry that your dad didn’t love you, but none of my comments were directed at you. You are quite brave behind your keyboard, spouting your idiotic nonsense. Thank you for adding to the conversation in a productive and affirming manner. I believe a room full of lesbians is looking for you. Happily married, indeed.

        2. Dude, you ever read this *s* before you post it? You must have some level of humanity that isn’t just white hot rage all the time?

        3. Methinks there might be a personal connection here. Note that I said pretty much the same thing to Jonathan a few comments above (and arguably nastier than what Rose said), and he hasn’t said anything quite this aggressive to me (aside from some odd insult about a sister I don’t have, but I’m pretty sure I provoked that).

          Jonathan, what’s the deal, man? What’s your real beef with Rose?

    2. I’m sorry to hear that any church would do that.
      In 2005, I lived in Dallas, where many thousands of evacuees from Hurricane Katrina were re-located. Most of the churches in the area went into overdrive to try to help the displaced people, and the mayor of Dallas at the time (a Jewish woman, incidentally) went to the temporary shelters every day to see how the city’s guests were getting along, and what the city staff could do to help them. The response was far from perfect– there were plenty of problems– but I didn’t hear of anyone putting up a “Keep Out” sign.

    3. It’s attitudes like this that made me husband decide to become missional. We want to be Jesus’ light in our community and not be a private country club just for our own members.

  24. Part of the beauty of this parable is that we can fill in the “priest” or “Levite” with whatever is the current equivalent, or with whatever speaks the most to us. If Jesus were telling this story today, would He say “TV evangelist”? “Follower of the Dalai Lama”? “Self-help author?” The point is, it could easily be us, any of us. Likewise, the Samaritan: would Jesus say “Muslim”? “homeless man”? “outlaw biker”? Again, it could–and should–be all of us.

  25. Great story Darrell, but I would have added that the soulwinning pastor would have left a tract in the guys pocket then gone off on his merry way.

    1. Ah, but he couldn’t leave a tract. The thieves stole the man’s clothes. No clothes, no pocket.

        1. And the fundy pastor covered his eyes so he wouldn’t see the man’s nakedness and walked right into a topless bar, where he spent several hours “evangelizing”.

        2. @Rose, do you get excited when they walk in because you know they are going to be big tippers and you’ll make a lot of money dancing that night? Or is it disappointing because they don’t tip well? Most fundys I know are terrible tippers, but since I don’t frequent strip clubs (as you implied that you do, but, hey, you hang out in rooms full of lesbians, right?), I wouldn’t know.

        3. Holy frik. Jonathan. You seriously….. Like I’m not gonna lie to you, I would probably say that to a girl that I’m very close friends with, in a joking manner. You don’t know this woman, and you feel free to call her a stripper? My gosh. Refer to the part up a ways where I call you a sick bastard.

        4. Jonathan, I know we screw around here, but man, that might be crossing a line there. Just sayin’.

        5. I don’t think I would feel very good looking myself in the mirror after saying something like that to someone I don’t know…

        6. Whoa, Jonathan! That’s a special level of tacky there. Sad to say, it’s nothing unusual for Fundies to assume the worst of people without cause, then judge them on something completely untrue. You just took it to a level I’ve only seen once. If you were the only representative of Jesus I knew of, I wouldn’t want Him if He were anything like you. Fortunately, that is not the case. Jesus forgives and saves the real strippers, not accuses people who aren’t and condemns. Shame on you!

        7. While I can’t agree with what he said, how is that it’s okay for Rose to accuse the pastor of going to a strip club and it’s not okay for Jonathan to accuse Rose of working at one? Is it that pastors are fair game?

        8. It’s a personal vs. general (and hyperbolic) statement.

          It’s the difference between saying “Americans are fat and lazy and saying YOUR MOM IS FAT AND LAZY.”

          Surely you can appreciate the nuance.

  26. Writing here as an ex-fundy, my fundy church hosted a lot of “fellowship dinners.” Guess who those were for. The church I attend now hosts dinners for the down and out, purchases blankets and slippers for those in nursing homes.

    1. Oh goodness, “fellowship banquets”. That sure took me back! One reason I love the new church my family and I attend is that every week they have groups that go to a homeless shelter to provide and serve food, or have knitting classes with which to make blankets for unwed mothers and their babies. Growing up in IFB, I never saw this side. These kinds of people were met with scorn and disdain. How wonderful it is to share Jesus’ love with them!

        1. You celebrated Volkswagen Beetles?

          (Sorry if this shows up twice; something weird happened mid-posting.)

        2. I wish. Where we live here in Florida, May and September are love bug months. These little critters turn the atmosphere dark as they assiduously work on propagating the species. You literally cannot open your mouth out of doors without catching some. You still might get them up your nose.

          They are not venomous, just ubiquitous in May and September. Oddly enough, the year the mog decided to have the Love Bug Festival was a year of famine as far as the Love Bugs were concerned. It was kind of pathetic – kids were collecting dead bugs off of people’s bumpers. But, they are back in great numbers now – about five years later.

    1. Bob – the original post or the comments?

      And who is trying to be productive?

    1. 193rd? What’s special about that? I mean, 200th I could see. But 193rd? Unless there’s something special about this number that Shoes could fill us in on…?

        1. But the lunacy’s the fun! Who seriously cares about debating this stuff? We’re all here because we agree that fundamentalism’s a croc (except you-know-who, but he’s what makes it fun). Introduce a little anarchy!

          (And one of these days, someone’s actually going to make my day and pick up on these Batman quotes I keep dropping in my comments.)

        2. Mark, I totally picked up the Batman quotes. Yes, I’m one of those heathens that helped propel the Dark Knight to the second highest grossing box office sales in history…

      1. Using Shoeโ€™s Codex of Numeration we can assign SCORPIO a number for each letter of his name (19, 3, 15, 18, 16, 9, 15) Adding up all the whole numbers we get 95 units of Whole Scorpioness. If we add up each individual number, we get 50 units of Individual Scorpioness

        Scorpio is the 8th sign in the astrological calendar and runs from 10/22 to 11/22 in the year 2011. 10 + 22 +11 + 22 = 65 Units of Calenderness. If we multiply 8 times 65, we get 520 Units of Calenderness.

        If we return to our original numbers we must subtract 50 units of Individual Scorpioness from 520 Units of Calenderness. = 470 units of Scorpioness. The next number must be closely looked at before we attempt to determine itโ€™s gift: 95 units of Whole Scorpioness. 9 + 5 = 14. Applying the Doctrine of Flippigation we arrive at 41. 4 โ€“ 1 = 3 units of Whole Scorpioness.

        Adding everything together we get 3 units of Scorpioness + 470 units of Scorpioness. + 193 posts = 666.

        1. Shoes – you have found me out. Who was I to think that I could hide my evilness from your powers. ๐Ÿ˜†

          Mark – No problem. All inflatable pilots are male. It makes it easier to blow us up :mrgreen:

  27. Here’s what John MacArthur had to say about this particular passage of Scripture:

    You want to know something? You know what this man was thinking? He wasn’t thinking anything. How do you know that? Because he didn’t exist. There’s n man here. This is a story. How can you write three pages on what a guy’s thinking who isn’t even in existence. This man didn’t live, this is not anybody, this is a story. I’m reading and all of a sudden I’m saying, “This is ridiculous, trying to assume what a man thinks who doesn’t exist, he had no brain.” This man had no brain, this man was no one. It’s a story. Don’t worry about what his reason was, what his motive was, what his excuse was, what his thinking was, he didn’t have any.

    1. You do realize this contradicts everything you’ve said today, right? You die on the hill of supposed motivation, then you post a quote from an “expert” that apparently renders everything you said null. Did you mean to do that?

      1. Does it matter? Basically this whole argument, from both sides, is pointless.

        By the way, are you having a good time following me today? I’m beginning to be a bit concerned. And, how’s your sister?

        1. Depends. Clearly it matters to you, or you wouldn’t have gone on about for as long as you did.
          As far as I’m concerned, you’re too much. Your strange fanaticism probably allows you to feel entirely justified in spite of what must be severe cognitive dissonance. As I’ve said many times, you make this place fun for me. Some people actually want a discussion, but I can tell you don’t. Your presumptuous nature comes through in every unprovoked ad hominem attack, every self-righteous condemnation, and every attempt you make at “argument” (if what you do can be called that). And that’s why I respond to you the way I do. I give you the opportunities to show us all how seriously you take yourself.
          So fight on, Johnie. Fight on.

        2. What, you think you’re some kind of jedi waving your hand around like that?

          Answer the question.

        3. Does it matter? Basically this whole argument, from both sides, is pointless.

          Bravo! In another short step you will have been at war with Eastasia all along. You are on a slippery slope there Johan. You have abandoned your war with Eurasia, and you are preaching that both sides are wrong… in a moment you will complete your transformation to the darkside and you will be at war with Eastasia and claim you have been arguing the same thing we have been saying all along. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        4. Leave it to a Fundy to put up a fight, only to post something to undo everything he said. I guess since the normal technique of simply deleting posts isn’t available here, and an “I’m just kidding, can’t you take a joke?” look really out of place, this is about as good a way to do it as any. ๐Ÿ™„ Fundies, please, own your words and actions. An “OK, I screwed up” goes much better with others than attempts to nullify.

    2. Jonathan, M.T. is right, but as to Mr. MacArther; He like you are overthinking it. (Another thing Fundies like) True, trying to assertain what a nonexistant man thinks IS a waste of time. But, understanding the point of the parable is not. “Who was this mans’ neighbor?” Not the priest or the Levite, the avowed representatives of God, but the down and dirty Samaritan who had every reason to leave a Jew to die.

    3. No Brain? We talkin’ about the Tin Man here?

      Is this where the origin for the term “no brainer” came from? In other words, this situation was a “no brainer.” i.e., anyone with an iota of compassion would have at least stopped. This is reminiscent of the story years ago in New York where dozens of residents in an apartment complex heard a woman being assaulted and crying for help. None of them responded. We need more Mother Teresas. But she was a Roman Catholic, and everyone knows that Catholics are not going to heaven.

    4. There’s a hole in MacArthur’s argument, but my brain is too frazzled to find it. Arrgh, I hate that feeling.

  28. “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled, [I’m praying for you]” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” (James 2:15-16)

    These verses have convicted and challenged me many times.

  29. This is another of those areas where I feel like my “brand” of fundamentalism has been ok. The people I grew up with in (home) missions definitely reached out in a Christlike way. A few guys in the church along with my dad were volunteer fire-fighters. Our church would budget specifically for helping those in need that were not church members. My dad helped run a town foodbank.

    I love the fundamentalism I grew up with. It was just as a went to BJ and starting being exposed to some of the wackos that I felt like it was a term I wasn’t sure I want stuck on me. Somebody on here a while ago talked about reclaiming the term and someone else replied it can’t be. Some people at BJ want to start a new term like “Biblicist.” But then people ask what that is and you have to say “kind of like a fundamentalist” so that doesn’t help.

    I still call myself a fundamentalist, but it’s annoying to feel like I have to explain the term every time.

    1. That’s awesome that your church was involved in the community. The church I grew up in would have condemned your dad as being “unequally yoked” for helping in the food bank. ๐Ÿ™

      For a long time, my husband and I wanted to be reasonable or balanced or Biblical fundamentalists. We finally gave up on the term, although we still fit it according to its original definition of accepting the fundamentals of the faith.

    2. Your upbringing sounds similar to mine. My Dad (IFB pastor) is a gracious, humble man.

      I don’t call myself a Fundamentalist anymore, even though I am committed to Historical Orthodoxy. I found that there were a lot of Christians taking that stance without the baggage of a name that has come to be associated with the likes of Jack Hyles, Chuck Phelps, Bob Gray, David Cloud and others.

      I might be classified as a Conservative Evangelical now..

      1. right on. I don’t think you would want to drink from this glass of water in front of me if I dropped just a tiny drop of poison in it would you!

        Why anyone would still think the label has any redeeming value is beyond my ability to justify sin, and let me tell you, thats pretty impressive if I must say so myself.

        1. Kind of like the term “Baptist”. When people wear that lable to protest funerals, deny scripture, or promote racism who wants it?

        2. My frustration is that ideally I would like to say I am an independent, fundamentalist, evangelical, latter-day saint, Christian, and probably some other terms too if I stopped to think of some. But all of those terms have some kind of connotation to them. All of them have something that I either sort of disagree with or definitely disagree with.
          I don’t think a church can really get away with not using labels. I think that’s why my favorite label is independent. It allows the group of believers to interpret God’s word as they think it should be, and run their lives and church by that interpretation.

  30. What not that trolls are normally a delight, but this was truly an ugly ugly ugly day for our little gifts….

  31. I don’t know about you, but I found MoteandBeam’s post a little hard to read. Luckily, I do remember a little bit of Troll from my early days of actually caring about the internet. If you will indulge me, I would like to exercise these talents for a second with a brief translation.

    Well because I preach every week for a sold out preacher of the Gospel of Jesus Christ I will not right an allegory with a very poor and distastful attempt at humor and accusation but I will tell you a true story.

    “I am angry at the words I have just read, so I will now follow up with an apocryphal story which you will have no way of verifying. As proof that I’m AB-SO-LUTELY serious about this, let me throw in a reminder that I preach or something.”

    Recently a friend of mine, Independant Fundamental Baptist Pastor, was driving home from making visits at one of the hospitals in the Orlando, FL area.

    “By way of introduction, let me start this story by using the same technique used in the age-old world of urban legends and email forwards in my Juno account: ‘This happened to a friend.'”

    He was traveling on the toll road around the city when he saw what appeared to be a lady stopped on the side of the road with her car disabled. Being a good southern gentleman he stopped to see if he could help her in anyway, either mechanically (because that is what he did before God called him into ministry) or let her use his phone to call for help (family, tow truck, etc.) if she had not already done so. The area was a remote part of the highway with no houses around but definetly not without traffic. It was around 3pm which is just before the heavy rush to get out of Orlandoโ€™s business district takes place. As he was speaking to the lady he suddenly felt someting in his back. When he turned to look it was a large man with a knife and pressing it into the lower part of his back. The man then said, โ€œif you do what I say you will get to see your family tonight and if you donโ€™t I will feed you to the alligators in that pond (motioning to a near by body of water).โ€

    “My ‘friend’ did something kind of like whatever you were talking about above, only nobody was injured, he wasn’t observant, and did not follow safety precautions that any Good Samaritan worth his salt would to insure that both parties came out safely. Oh yeah, and the moral of this story has nothing to do with the broader implications of Darrell’s post. Still…DRAMA!”

    He then said, โ€œGive me your wallet.โ€ So he gave him his wallet. He then said, โ€œGive me your phone.โ€ So he gave him his phone. He then told the lady to check his pockets for cash. So, they took what he had in his jacket and pants pockets. He then walked him over to his car and told him to hand him the keys from the ignition. So, he handed him his keys. The man then took the keys and threw them down the side of interstate into the bushes and tall grass. He told my friend to get into the car and to not move until they had left and then he lifted his shirt and showed him a gun. My Preacher friend got into his car and sat down and closed the door. The moment the door closed he locked it and watched as the man and woman dropped the hood on their car,climbed into the car, smiled and waved good-bye and drove away.

    “Stuff happened in rather amazing, dramatic detail for someone in a life-and-death situation.”

    For the next several minutes he sat there in stunned silence with the images of what had just happened flashing through his mind. He thought about his wife and five children. He thought about all that could have happened and then began to thank God that he did not become the โ€œThe Good Samaritan That Became The Victim.โ€ He later told me that the amazing thing was the hundreds of cars that passed by and no one thought to stop and help. The people that had to see him walking with his hands in the air in the middle of the afternoon and a man with a large knife stuck in his back but no one stopped to help or even call the police. Nope Darrell, not one Catholic, SBC, Reform-Pres, Methodist, Agnostic, Atheist, Mormon, JW, Homosexual, Liberal, Conservative, Pentacostol, Holiness, Charasmatic, Seventh Day, Lutheran, Buddhist, Hindu and not even a friendly Muslim stopped to help him that day.

    “Nobody helped this guy, especially nobody like what you described. No fundies helped, either, but I’m oblivious to your point, so, who cares?”

    The only thing that Preacher had on his side that day was the Grace of God. When I aked him what he would do in the future if he saw a woman in distress he said, โ€œI would stop again but the next time I will be more ovservant and less gulible.โ€ Wow, almost died but he would do it again to show the love of God to a stranger on the side of the road.

    “He learned basic safety rules and hopefully won’t get his dumb butt jumped again. But rather than admit that, we’re going to over-spiritualize the application to make for a good story which Phil Kidd will probably rip off in his next tent revival, only he’ll add more gore.”

    Whenโ€™s the last time you changed a tire Darrell. I saw your video you shot at BJ. I donโ€™t think you even know how to change a flat, windshieled wipers, headlight, tail-light or any other maintenance but your are the self proclaimed โ€œGood Samaritan of Christianity.โ€

    “Here, I’ll make some broad generalizations about Darrell based on his appearance alone and then attribute a title to him that he never actually claimed for himself. Because research is hard, and stuff.”

    I wonder, in your quest for perfection, how often you take the time to really, I mean really help someone in need. We live a culture of takers but then again that is a result of sin. The heart of man is desperately wicked. You seem to have it all figured out. Why donโ€™t you start a church? Why donโ€™t you start a rescue mission? Why donโ€™t you start a childrenโ€™s home? Why donโ€™t you start a Bible College? Why donโ€™t you do someithing other than look at the Mote in the believers eye while missing the beam in your own eye?

    “Excuse me while I interrupt myself and say something totally irrelevant here. BLARGHYARGHFLARGHCTHULU!CTHULU FTAGN! AIIIIIIA! There, I feel better.”

    Ive learned that when people get involved in ministry and stop being critical of those that are their criticisim goes down 100% because they suddenly realize all the pressure, pain and heartache that comes with being in ministry.

    “You don’t understand how people in the ministry feel because you’re not in the ministry! Never mind that you were actually in a third world country for years as part of a ministry…I’m preaching and stuff!”

    The only thing that sustains you are the occasional victories along the way and then you just keep singing that old hymn of the faith, โ€œKeep on the firing line!โ€ lol

    “Yeah, I’m pretty much just winging it at this point. I don’t know what I said here either. Erm…’lol.’ That’s internet-language, right?”

    You do realize you are going to give an account for this website one day. I hope you are ready for that!

    “You do realize that you will have to answer to the Lord someday about this vitriolic, shameless website that I’m spending time writing a vitriolic, shameless flame on, right? It’s cool, though. I’M A PREACHER!”

    However, I am sure that Jesus sits in Heaven next to His Father and say, โ€œGo Darrell, sow that discord. That a boy Darrell give the bitter a place to vent and spew their venom. You the man Darrell, you are keeping people from getting right with me and with man. Go Darrell, Go Darrell, Go Darrell.โ€ Oh, I can hear the Lord chanting that now.

    “I have received special revelation from the Lord! Let me put words in God’s mouth! (It’s okay. I’m being a SARCASTIC PREACHER!)”

    This has been a mote and beam moment for Darrell. ๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ™

    “Every head bowed, and every eye closed. NO ONE looking around…”

    1. I could only read so much of the correction/translation even was still do painful! I can’t bring myself to read the orig post by one of our resident dipsticks…

    2. @ Arch Radish – well done sir. That was really close to what I was thinking.

    3. Bravo Arch Radish. you put into word what i was thinking, wanted to express but didn’t have the stomach to read and reread that mess again.

      Dude is too over the top. it can’t be for real and has to be a spoof. He hit the correct button today!

  32. Ive learned that when people get involved in ministry and stop being critical of those that are their criticisim goes down 100% because they suddenly realize all the pressure, pain and heartache that comes with being in ministry.

    So only the Full-time, ordained, sanctified, self-anointed, self-appointed M-O-g is capable of being in the ministry? Does anyone read Ephesians chaper 4 anymore? God save us from these full-time super-saints who are in the ministry! If they exercised their gifts of ministry the way they are instructed to in scripture then they wouldn’t be so stressed out in the ministry. Get over the god-complex and train others in the ministry like scripture says.
    Dang! this is burr under my saddle! This idea that there is a class/caste system that elevates the pulpiteers to some special overlord status irks me to no end!

    1. I am your overlord, Don. Bow before me for even though I am not a pastor but only married to one, I bear the holy, sanctified stamp of superiority. ๐Ÿ˜€ (The smiley means I’m kidding, in case anyone can’t tell.)

      1. But knowing your ministry I would gladly come along side and help if I lived nearby. I know that you and your husband are ministering according to Biblical example and I know you have read (and Practice) Ephesians 4.
        This ding-dang attitude that I’m in the ministry “so I’m superior to you” crap makes me think of sun bloated road kill. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

        1. I’ll admit when I was a kid I did think pastors and missionaries were extra special, holier, and more important to God. More wisdom and reading 1 Cor. 12 (among other passages) has put that fallacy to rest! It is disgusting when someone who is supposed to be following Christ is full of pride and arrogance instead of considering others more highly than themselves. And we’d be honored to have you in our neck of the woods.

    2. Dear George,

      I hope you were a good neighbor to Don and removed that bur that was hurting him so much. If you don’t than you would be a very bad neighbor especially since you and him are so tight and all. If you havn’t you’ve missed the point of todays post. Be a good neighbor-remove the bur. ๐Ÿ˜€

    1. I’m not sure I get the connection. I read the article, but I don’t understand the point you are trying to make. I agree with some of the points, but not others. Like Billy Graham, I don’t spend time with women other than my wife, but I have no problem with hugs or compliments.

      And, while his comments made me laugh (especially at the violent reaction they caused), I am in no way affiliated with Moat and Beam.

      1. “And, while his comments made me laugh (especially at the violent reaction they caused), I am in no way affiliated with Moat and Beam.”

        I know, I know . . . it’s not a network ๐Ÿ™„

        1. Sorry, I’m not a fundy or an anti-fundy. I don’t get the reference. I’m obviously out of the loop.

        2. Sorry you don’t realise it, but you are DEFINATELY a fundy… or at least you do a great job of seeming like one. ๐Ÿ˜•

  33. I think it quite odd that a person who is a “sold out preacher of Jesus Christ” would accuse someone of not knowing Jesus, when that wasn’t even the point one was trying to make.

    I know Darrell doesn’t need my help in backing him up or anything, and he probably doesn’t even care what you wrote anyway, but how do you know that he isn’t doing anything to help someone in need. Imo, he is. He is shedding light on the IFB cult. I’d have to say that 9 out of 10 times, Darrell hits the nail on the head when he speaks out the IFB. He has definitely helped me learn to cope with the stupidity of the man-centered IFB religion.

    How do you know that he hasn’t started a church, Bible college, or rescue mission? You’re speaking out of turn. If you’re a preacher of Jesus Christ, why don’t you know anything about grace, compassion and Christian liberty? I would HATE to be at your church. By your writing, you’re just some stuck-up, wanna-be preacher who thinks he’s better than everyone else. I hate to even call you a preacher.

    I definitely know you’re a preacher b/c you can’t spell and your grammatical structure is atrocious. I bet you went to a closed “Christian” school and barely graduated and the only option you had was to go to a Bible college.

    How do you know for sure that Jesus sits in Heaven next to His Father and say, โ€œGo Darrell, sow that discord. That a boy Darrell give the bitter a place to vent and spew their venom. You the man Darrell, you are keeping people from getting right with me and with man. Go Darrell, Go Darrell, Go Darrell.โ€ That’s like saying that I’m sure that Jesus is saying, “Thanks Darrell for shedding some light on the stupidity of religion, and helping people understand the grace of ME!” It’s absolutely ludicrous. You can’t know the mind of God or Jesus; to say so would be insane. I believe I remember something about ‘my ways are higher than your ways, my thoughts higher than your thoughts…’ something like that.

    I think it interesting after tlorz2 calls you out on, “you have absolutely NO concept of the person of God and his heart I might be inclined to try to respond to your tirade,” you quickly resort to saying that YOU preached and 7 souls came to Jesus. Man-centered ‘Christianity’ all over that one. Pride, arrogance…. the list goes on.

    You’re a sad, sad excuse for a human being.

  34. A few things:

    1) I don’t think Jonathan is a troll. Trolls are just disagreeing for disagreeing’s sake, and he does not seem to fit that. He’s thought about this stuff. Granted, not come to the same conclusions as most of us, but he’s not just flaming, which is what trolls do, right?

    2) Is this Jonathan the same as John? This is really getting confusing.

    3) Darrell, the parable was thought-provoking. Thank you. While I don’t know if comparing a person’s nationality to a person’s choices (driving a Prius, being a Democrat, or what-have-you) is necessarily accurate, I understand the point. The Jews felt about Samaritans as many of us have thought/still do think about those who do not agree with us.

    Anyhoo, intense discussion here. lol. Imma have to go back over all those comments again to get everything…

    1. Carrying on or maintaining an argument for arguments sake, without flaming (by repeating previous points, as if they hadn’t been addressed, or using fallacies intentionally) is also a form of trolling. Not saying that’s what’s happening here, but there are more ways to toll than just flaming people outright.

    2. 1.) Debateable. He seems to be trolling for an argumeent, but then you are right int hat he does discuss and not just flame.

      2.) No not John. I think we finally got that one figured out.

      3.) I think it is one of Darrells best posts evah!

  35. Some time ago I was involved in a serious accident. Since my return to “church” no-one has asked how I am doing (almost a year later I still feel the effects). The other day a woman I don’t know came up to me, told me she remembered me from the emergency room that day, and that she’s prayed for me every day since then. I liken her to the fact the Samaritan was willing to pay for any additional needs the man may have. This woman has invested her time and prayers for me without even knowing my name, and I still have no clue who she is.

    1. That’s neat she was praying for you all that time! It’s sad that so many times we at church are so busy with our church programs that we forget to live out the “one another” commands of Scripture.

  36. Today was fun. Can’t wait to see what Darrell has cooked up for tomorrow. Maybe we can get Mark Thomas to flash that picture of his sister around some more.

    1. And you’re a ja****s. :mrgreen: Love you in Christ brother Janothin. Whoops did I type that out loud?

      1. Wow, way to show Christ’s love. You just made Him proud. Thank you for validating every point I’ve ever made about the folks who frequent this site.

      1. I don’t know, GmotBob, after that comment to Rose…

        I mean, I mess around with the guy because he makes it fun, but that… that was just pure vitriol.

        Jonathan, you sound like you’re starting to come unglued. I told you once that I want you to stay around because you’re fun to screw with, but bro, you might think about taking a break. Cool off and stuff. I don’t think Rose really said anything that inflammatory to you directly (certainly not worse than anything I’ve said to you), but the things you said to her just now… I’d just be careful, man.

        1. Hate to say it, but I think the Fundies are getting even nastier with time. In the 14-ish years I’ve been out, their attacks seem nastier now than ever before. I’m used to the “Jezebel” garbage, the “you hate God” stuff, and other low-ball insults. The stuff involving accusations of sexual misconduct, criminal activity, and other over-the-top stuff is happening more and more. And these Fundamentalists are supposed to be the most holy of Christians? I think not, for they speak no truth, and they sure don’t say anything in love. I wouldn’t want whatever they’re selling. Thank God Scripture is a witness against them.

        2. I think they’ve passed the point of no return where so many sane people have left the anger just builds on itself and there’s no where near enough sanity to pull them back.

  37. So, what have we learned from today’s exercise? Apparently anti-fundys can dish it out, but they can’t take it. Someone can say you make them sick, can accuse of you being an enabler for a child molester, but when the role is reversed and nasty allegations are made against them (I will admit I may have allegedly crossed a line), the anti-fundys respond by calling names (sick bastard, etc.). Just goes to show your true colors. Thanks for your help today, Rose. You played your part marvelously.

    1. What have we learned today? I think we learned that you do not hold a candle to MoteandBeam. Whether the 2 of you are legit, trolls, Poe’s law or whatever, it doesn’t matter. Jonathan, you have your work cut out to keep up with MaB.

      BTW, good morning ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. Oh, but Jonathan, you miss it completely. You as a Fundamentalist are supposed to be the purest and most holy of Christians. You of all people are supposed to live to the highest of standards. No cheap shots for you. You are supposed to be superior. Excuse me while I gag because I can’t keep laying that on anymore. The fact is that you’ve only demonstrated a pattern ridiculously common to Fundamentalists. Instead of holding to the highest standards, you sink low. Instead of speaking the truth in love, you speak completely unsubstantiated in hate. The cheap shot is your weapon of choice. Far from a Christian example, you instead demonstrate a firm belief that the end justifies the means. If that’s a truly Christian example, I see the world acting with much more class and sense.

    3. Jonathan, I believe the accusation of “sick b******” came from a couple of the guys after you attacked Rose. They’re not demonstrating an inability to “take it”; they’re calling you out when you launched a rude and unsubstantiated personal attack against a woman.

      1. I’m not gonna lie, I tend to not use words like sick bastard and pompous ass in any normal conversation, but anyone, absolutely anyone would would call a woman he doesn’t know a stripper, well that’s just wrong. Not that what she said was perfect, but you took it to a totally different level. And talking about people’s sisters? Really? I still can’t fathom that. You don’t know these people. That’s just wrong. I don’t care what they say, if someone calls you a troll, first, if the shoe fits, second, don’t go overboard. If you wanna flame that person, ok. We’ll think you’re ruining the discussion, and being a tool, but whatever. Throwing your mother’s a whore, your sister’s a whore, or you’re a stripper into the mix is just wrong. You must work in some kind of Christian environment, because any where else you would go home with a broken face. And so help me if you had been standing next to me, I would be struggling. I have more respect for Johnny Montana from Scarface right now. At least he wouldn’t blow a car with women and kids. You on the other hand….. Not really sure….

        1. Everyone keeps saying that Jonathan made comments about someone’s sister. I read through the comments (that took forever…what a mess) and I didn’t see it. It appears to me that Mark Thomas keeps trying to get Jonathan to use some picture for his profile and then Jonathan asks if that is a picture of his sister. Seems to me everyone is getting worked up over nothing. Bunch of silly nonsense. I mean, after all, this is just a blog, not real life.

        2. Search for “RobM”. For the record I have no sisters, and was uninvolved at the time I/she got poked at for who knows what reason. No clue what my imagined sisters had to do with anything.

        3. @RobM, I think you need to read it again. Jonathan didn’t say it was your sister on the other end of the line. He said it was you or Mark Thomas’s sister on the line. The sister comment might be over the line (don’t know the relationship between Mark and Jonathan), but him adding you to the equation is pretty funny.

        4. It’s always amusing to be random associated. I still think it was a my or Mark Thomas’s sister, either way, was rather odd, and I didn’t even know I’d been mentioned till today.

        5. Glad someone finds it humorous when strangers call other people’s sisters whores!

        6. “Jonathan didnโ€™t say it was your sister on the other end of the line. He said it was you or Mark Thomasโ€™s sister on the line.”

          So now you’ve got *nuance* figured out, huh?

        7. Oh I see. Maybe it was RobM himself on the line. Because thatโ€™s a much better implication.

          Fail.

        8. PlankEye has yet to answer questions about his/her motives on the forum. Until that time PlankEye is a troll.

        9. PlankEye has joined the ranks of those in TimeOut until such a time as I can ascertain whether it’s Jonathan back in a new username.

          The timing is just too coincidental and the IP address data doesn’t make sense.

        10. @PlankEye

          The whole sister thing has been going on for several comment threads now….

          Personally I think MarkThomas goads him on though lol

        11. I’ve admitted as much.

          And honestly, make your gravatar Trollface? TROLLface! I mean, how much more obvious can I be?

  38. Oh I see. Maybe it was RobM himself on the line. Because that’s a much better implication.

    Fail.

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