Thanks to John for passing this along.

In the beginning were fundamentalists and they were very good. We know they were very good because they’ve told us so. And their word is God’s own truth.

For when it came to pass that the forces of Baby-baptizers and Bible-changers and Beer-drinkers were threatening to destroy the very Church that Christ himself promised would not fail, then were published a series of writings known as The Fundamentals. And certain of leaders of the congregation who knew a golden opportunity when they saw it, seized upon the chance to use these writings to draw a line between Us and Them. And upon that line they built a Wall of Separation, and in front of the wall they dug the Moat of Standards, and then they forbade any of those within their congregation to get within spitting distance of the wall lest they be tempted to peek around and see the wonders of the world outside.

And there behind that wall the people lived for many years and had many children and even more grandchildren. There they built for themselves good solid fundamentalist churches, and perfect fundamentalist homes for their families, and fundamentalist schools and colleges for their children. They read the right books, and listened to the right music, and watched only the right movies and shows. And if they were not strictly speaking “happy” then at least they were content that they were safe.

Their leaders also were good men, strong and brave who often told them stories of the world outside the Wall of Separation and the horrors that they had seen there. And the leaders warned the people that they should never go outside the wall alone but only in groups of two or three and only such as were strong enough to go on the weekly rescue missions to save dying souls outside. For outside the wall was godlessness and debauchery and music with an unnatural anapestic beat to snare the unwary into the lust of the flesh.

To avoid these evils outside the wall the people also were given many new rules to follow each week depending on what mood their leader was in that day. They were told where they could go and what they could do there and who they could do it with. They were told what to read and what to believe and who to love and to hate. And they were told that true freedom was a thing to be feared most of all.

​And so it came to pass that after many years of isolation from all the evils of the world, that it was discovered that the leaders who so many were trusted were not at all what they had seemed. Many were the stories of their treachery and how that they had used and abused the people for their own gain and exploited the weak and preyed on the helpless. For it seemed that these men were the very monsters that they had always warned the people about and the safety behind the wall was nothing but a sham.

​​​Some of the people refused to believe these stories, of course, choosing rather to claim that the victims were all liars and that the leaders were good, godly men who could never be guilty of such sin. But there were a few souls who with heavy hearts looked at the Wall of Separation and though that it could hardly be worse to live with the evil outside the wall than remain with the evil within it. And so they left. And as they came limping with slow steps out of that guarded realm which had been their home for so many years, a wondrous and unexpected thing occurred: they found beauty and laughter and freedom such has they had never known.

And those who had fled from behind the Wall of Separation and had crossed the Moat of Standards, stood beckoning to those who still lived under the shadow of fear and the oppression of their leaders. “Come and join us!” they called. “It’s so much better out here! There is music and dancing and so many wonderful things!” But those behind the wall turned their backs on the site of this celebration as their leaders screamed even louder warnings not listen to those who were enjoying the milk and honey of the lands beyond the wall. And those behind the wall trembled with fear.

But no matter how loud the men screamed or ordered the people to ignore the things happening outside the wall, the music of that distant celebration would still be sometimes heard. And once in a while in a quiet moment or while pausing from their busy schedules, one or two would wonder if maybe there could be life beyond the supposed safety of their separation and standards. And they tried to imagine what it would be like to live a life that was unafraid.

Recipe for today’s website pick: take a whopping dose of fundyism, mix in some really bad history, sprinkle with American politics, and stir swiftly until you’ve addled the brains of everyone present.

The pages on Apologetics are particularly worth reading.

Thanks to Jeff for passing this one along.

You can view the original website here.

…and since that last post was way too serious for a Monday morning, here’s something a little lighter.

I’m not sure of the original source of this picture. If anybody knows please pass it along and I’ll give them credit

Free from the law, oh happy condition! What a blessedness, what a peace is mine to know that my standing in Christ is not about what I do but about what he has already accomplished. What joy unspeakable it is to know that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.

And yet…

Some days when trials come and life seems nothing more than pointless pain, there is voice that whispers again the familiar lies in my ear and tells me that it is all my own fault that I suffer. “It’s because you didn’t got to church last Sunday. It’s because you didn’t tithe. It’s because you haven’t led single soul to Christ yet this year. That is why you suffer. Because you haven’t done enough. Because you are not good enough. Because you chose to stray from the old paths. That is why you are being judged.”

Even after the earthquake is over and your feet stand on solid ground there remain the spiritual aftershocks which can briefly shake again the foundations of your world. And when they come (as they inevitably will) all we can do is cling to a more sure foundation: that the Lord knoweth who are his and that He has loved them with an everlasting love. He knows what we are. He knows what we’ve done. He loves us anyway.

This present pain is not punishment. But some lessons are not easily unlearned. Some roots of doubt go deep.

A lot of schools do fundraisers. Most of them don’t have the KJV on their candy bars.

Today’s challenge is simply to fill in this blank.

“I used to think _________. I was wrong.”

It’s good for all of us to realize we’ve wrong once in a while. (And might still be sometimes.)

Is this video real or an intentional fake?

Although several people have sent me this horrific rendition, I’m going to call shenanigans on it for several reasons:

1) The singer starts out by talking about Brian Free and the Assurance which is definitely not an IFB group but then transitions right into talking about Gospel Light Baptist Church in Salisbury, NC which is most definitely an IFB church.

2) The applause track after he mentions the church is an obvious fake.

3) We see three heads of audience members but there’s nobody on the stage or in the choir loft. In fact, this guy is sitting on the arm of the pastor’s chair (right next to the phone). Nobody would do that to the pastor’s throne and get away with it in an IFB church. [Edit: Thanks to everyone who pointed out that he's actually on a stool in front of the chair. I concede the point]

4) He’s wearing a polo shirt and sneakers. Sneakers. On the platform. Not likely.

5. He chooses a song best known by Vestal Goodman and then murders it in a way that could only be purposeful. While doing it he runs around the stage and holds the microphone in both hands.

I suspect that some hooligans managed to get into a Baptist church somewhere when nobody else was around and shot this video as a spoof. But I’d love to hear your opinions.