There are a few things I need to say...

[LearningFreedom]

I agree! I have been very hurt by certain things that seem to be a trademark of IFB churches. However, each church I have been in has been a different experience and the sadly ironic thing is that none of these churches would agree with each other. Yes, we have pain, anger, resentment, but we also need to be gracious, forgiving, open-hearted, and allow each individual person, church and preacher the freedom to stand on their own merit and convictions. Not EVERYONE that is associated with IFB is the same, there is a VERY WIDE range of beliefs and practices within the movement itself. And honestly, can't we each take some of the blame on ourselves for allowing others to "lead us around" and "push us into a box", instead of exercising our own free will and Holy Spirit leading and God-given brain?

Thank you Darrell for being balanced and honest, for allowing others the same opportunity and grace to show their colours as you want them to allow you. Thank you for starting this blog where we can vent, question, search, laugh, discuss, counsel, and heal. I find it very refreshing to get many perspectives and experiences of others and have their input in my life of learning, growing and making decisions for myself.

[Jenni]

I agree with what the others have said here. It's easy to forget that everyone has a backstory, and that knowing those backstories, or just remembering that they do in fact exist, can give us more empathy and understanding.

I also try to remember something I learned from the Fundies: hurting people hurt people. There are a lot of recovering people on here who have been hurt, and sometimes I'm given an opportunity to demonstrate grace to them instead of lashing out with more hurtful words.

[Bob M]

This thread is a good reminder. I can say for one that I am glad people outside Fundyland cared enough about me not to just harangue me, but to patiently show me the errors of my ways. I even had one guy who is still kind of in Fundyland (Cedarville) work on me for several years as I was leaving. I asked him numerous times why he didn't leave. He is an educator and he said that once he made his choice, it was too hard to move to evangelicalism. Having been there, I agree.

It is very very hard when you are in ministry of any kind to move out of fundyland. Please have patience with those still in it. They could become one of us one day.