not alone

[Jenn]

I just wanted to say I spent over a decade of my young life feeling so painfully ALONE in my experiences with fundamentalism. Now I realize I am so incredibly not alone, it is actually a bit overwhelming. I want to read every single post and comment, because I relate to it all so much. Then I also want to stop dwelling on the past and move forward with my life in the real world. Sometimes I spend way too much time on here.

[LMcC]

You're certainly not alone, at least not anymore.

I think that many of us who have been out a decade or more (and to be fair, some who have been out for less time) have had to battle that horrible sense of isolation, of not knowing anyone else who can understand where you are and where you've been. The internet has been a lifesaver for me and certainly for others because we finally found out we're not fighting this battle solo anymore.

Granted, the discovery of others in the same boat is simultaneously exciting and discouraging: Exciting because someone else knows what it's like and can relate... and then discouraging because not only is someone else out there who suffered like you did, there are others out there who are still thinking they're out there alone.

[Darrell]

Quote:Sometimes I spend way too much time on here.

I know the feeling.

[Dude]

(01-04-2011 09:45 PM)Darrell Wrote:  

Quote:Sometimes I spend way too much time on here.

I know the feeling.

You live in a room in the back, right?

[Easterlily241]

I'm borderline obsessed with this place, I check it ever day =P And when I'm bored I do the random posts and read all the old comments.....

I agree with the feeling of loneliness. I am introverted and find it very difficult to talk about personal problems or questions, to anyone. So I bottle it all up and think too much about it, then scare people when I go on rants =P

I think if we/I talked more and to more people about fundy troubles, we would find that many feel the same way, and just pretend that everything's ok and peachy. But then you might find that random person that looks at you like you just escaped the loony bin. And I've never found anyone who shared my obsession with 3D puzzles....

[B-Ray]

It was this site that opened my eyes and got me to thinking again.

Im definately Obsessed and spend too much time here, oh well.

[Natalie]

Jenn, I felt the exact same way when I discovered SFL. I read every blog post and couldn't believe I found a group of people who knew my upbringing so well.

[exOBCstudent]

(01-04-2011 04:59 PM)Jenn Wrote:  I just wanted to say I spent over a decade of my young life feeling so painfully ALONE in my experiences with fundamentalism. Now I realize I am so incredibly not alone, it is actually a bit overwhelming. I want to read every single post and comment, because I relate to it all so much. Then I also want to stop dwelling on the past and move forward with my life in the real world. Sometimes I spend way too much time on here.

I feel the same as you in this area. I KNOW I'm totally addicted to this site and the subject of "Fundamentalism". I just can't yet seem to eradicate it from my memory or thinking sometimes. I find that most of the time my interactions with other people is what brings back my fundy habits and mindset. I'm out but still haunted by my Fundy past so it's too much to be ignored right now.

I think what I get most out of meeting up with fellow SFLers is seeing how you each have learned to adjust to some level of "normality" and also what you've done to deal with your past. Hearing your stories also reinforces my resolve to stay forever away from anything remotely resembling the IFB cult mentality....even if it means that I'll never have a church to call my own.

I feel like many of you here are the only friends I have that understand my background and thinking....which mean SO MUCH to me at this stage in my life. I keep coming back for that and will until I'm recovered enough to totally eradicate the effects of fundamentalism in my life.

[pastor's wife]

When I first found this site, I read it voraciously, checking out all the old posts, and finally deciding to start commenting myself.

2010 was the big transition for me. It was awesome to hear people saying things I'd been realizing and discovering but had never really heard anyone say out loud. By now the initial pain and anger and fear I was feeling have faded. I'm still SUPER fired up about music, but for me, some of the frustration-driven need to be validated has abated. I still want to be here on SFL though to help people leaving the IFB to know that they don't have to leave Christianity. Too many times that's what we were taught: disagree with an extreme fundy on standards and he'll often start labeling you as a blasphemer and unbeliever. I want people to hear the loving voice of God's grace in Christ not the rejection and condemnation of those who've replaced the Gospel with legalism.

"I'm not afraid
To take a stand!
Everybody,
Come take my hand.
We'll walk this road together through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm,
Just letting you know that you're not alone.
Holla if you feel like you been down the same road."

[Bob M]

(05-07-2012 08:27 AM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  

(01-04-2011 04:59 PM)Jenn Wrote:  I just wanted to say I spent over a decade of my young life feeling so painfully ALONE in my experiences with fundamentalism. Now I realize I am so incredibly not alone, it is actually a bit overwhelming. I want to read every single post and comment, because I relate to it all so much. Then I also want to stop dwelling on the past and move forward with my life in the real world. Sometimes I spend way too much time on here.

I feel the same as you in this area. I KNOW I'm totally addicted to this site and the subject of "Fundamentalism". I just can't yet seem to eradicate it from my memory or thinking sometimes. I find that most of the time my interactions with other people is what brings back my fundy habits and mindset. I'm out but still haunted by my Fundy past so it's too much to be ignored right now.

I think what I get most out of meeting up with fellow SFLers is seeing how you each have learned to adjust to some level of "normality" and also what you've done to deal with your past. Hearing your stories also reinforces my resolve to stay forever away from anything remotely resembling the IFB cult mentality....even if it means that I'll never have a church to call my own.

I feel like many of you here are the only friends I have that understand my background and thinking....which mean SO MUCH to me at this stage in my life. I keep coming back for that and will until I'm recovered enough to totally eradicate the effects of fundamentalism in my life.

I resound with you. I cannot get then old Fundy-ism out of my thinking. Its like I am haunted by it. Part of that is because my son still goes to the school that is attached to the seminary I graduated from. The school is not radical and the seminary is a left leaning seminary, but still fundamentalist. So, I interact with them during sports and music and other school functions. I have wanted to pull my son, but he has good friends there who do not attend the church. And there are some good balanced teachers there.

But coming here validates my leaving over and over. I know there are some people here who are really bitter and hateful toward anything that even smacks of conservative Christianity, but that doesn't bother me. I am pretty open, and this site is helping me see the muiltifaceted nature of God's family.