(01-04-2011 07:56 PM)Faith Wrote:
(01-04-2011 01:04 AM)steviusthedevious Wrote: would you mind explaining the transformation from man to woman, specifically how you knew you were a woman, and the emotional/spiritual fallout of being raised as a man? my curiosity is piqued.
I know I'm a woman the same way you know you're a man. It's something you just know.
The fallout of being raised a fundy boy? You want me to condense 20+ hours of therapy into a forum post? Self-loathing, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, negative body image, those are the high spots.
The defining episode of my childhood was when I was 8, my mom caught me sleeping in a dress (yet again) and told me -showed me in the Bible even- that I was an abomination before the Lord. Imagine what that did to my self-image, my relationship with God, and my relationship with my mom.
The situation was this: I had this knowledge that I could not un-know, I could not change it no matter what I tried. But everyone around me and even my own body told me I was wrong, that I was sick and perverted and rebellious and unworthy of love, I was so wrong to that God hated me. Self-loathing seems a mild term to describe what I felt.
I'm healed now. It took nearly thirty years and sadly the death of my mom, along with hours of therapy, hours of prayer by and for me, and a personal encounter with the living God. And somewhere along the line I began living the life God created me to live, as the woman God created me to be.
But you know what? Now I'm stupidly happy, happy for no apparent reason, like a big dumb yellow Lab. I am finally filled with the joy I sang about as a kid but never had. I know the peace that passes all understanding.
One thing I'm confused about, is that you claim that you are really a woman, but you were obviously born physically a boy. Can you find Scripture to prove that sometimes God makes the mistake of putting a woman in a man's body?