Domestic Violence discussion (split from On being pro-life)

[LMcC]

(02-19-2011 10:17 AM)Elijah Craig Wrote:  Allow me to flesh out a brief statement I made last night.

I have noticed something about some men who are patriarchal. And from reliable sources I've learned the background of some fairly prominent proponents of patriarchy. It is that they had mothers who were physically or emotionally abusive. Early in life they formed the notion that women were spiteful, irrational, manipulative, and that survival meant putting women in check. That's normal childhood thinking but they never fully grow out of it. They get into their late teens or early twenties and are presented with a view on women that fits their pre-existing psychology. Theology and everything else is twisted to fit their childhood experience. And so you get theology of "leading a woman" and all of that. Often times these guys are not violent at all, and cannot conceive how their views could be used by a violent man because they cannot see outside the box they are in.

Actually, the theology of men ruling women came immediately after the fall. It's not a recent invention. I have a problem believing an abused man would care if a woman got abused. After all, if he believes women are irrational, etc., she probably deserves the beating in his eyes.

Quote:Much of feminism is the same but from the reverse angle. Men are seen as abusive, sex-obsessed, manipulative, uncaring.

Actually, the people who have promoted that thinking the most have been Fundamentalist leaders, not feminists. Dr. Fremont put a positive spin on it, but he's the one who taught me and the rest of the class that men were sex-obsessed. Jack Schaap is the "slap-yo-grandma" guy, and pastors are well-known for condoning and excusing domestic violence against women in the pulpit and the counseling office. The work women have done in the church and the home has been routinely dismissed as unimportant. All the feminists have done is expose the Fundy/traditionalist views. Heck, I was exposing this crap when I was still in traditionalism and thought all feminists were evil.

Quote:Women are seen as victims. Books and studies that support this worldview are read, other facts are discounted or minimalized. Empowering female victims becomes the primary goal to which all other rights and wrongs must be subordinated.

Women are seen as victims because they have been. Only within the last 150 years-ish have there been any rules against domestic violence and rape.

AFA feminists caring only about their goals to the exclusion of others: Some, yes, but certainly not all. Many early feminists were also involved in abolition, for example. They were not blind to the plight of others. Even now, Christians for Biblical Equality has pointed out when the church's attitudes have been harmful to men.

Quote:I don't have room for either viewpoint in my life. People are evil. There are some differences in the way men and women process the evil that happens to them, and differences in the way their own evil is acted out. But I don't silo off women into one way of thinking and acting, and men into another. Women can be physically abusive and many are. Men can be passive-aggressive. Women can be assertive. Men can be nurturing. I define people by their behaviors and thought patterns, not primarily their gender.

It isn't an us v. them world.

Yet you talk like it is.

If people are evil, let the boys and girls get clobbered by their parents. Let the husband beat and rape his wife. Let the pastors molest kids. The world is going to Hell in a handbasket and taking the church with it, so let's not care.

Bullgipp.

While we're all depraved and cannot save ourselves, we are all also created in the image of God and carry vestiges of that regardless of our spiritual status. We all deserve better than the status quo, male and female alike, and we owe it to ourselves and those around us to keep working toward what is right.