Domestic Violence discussion (split from On being pro-life)

[Elijah Craig]

Quote:If the statement that most abuse in adult heterosexual intimate partners is perpetrated by males is utterly offensive because it's untrue and it's just that no men tell anyone about abuse by female adult partners, how do you all know so many men in that situation? Enough to determine that the number of abused women is equal to, or even less than, the number of abused men? (Especially when you refuse to read the research on domestic violence?) Funny, out of all the domestic violence among partners in my extended family, none of it was perpetrated by women in het intimate relationships. None. And some of those women are still being abused, today. I care about this personally. A lot.

I don't really care for this game. You don't know a thing about me, what I've researched, what I've experienced, or how many men and women I know who were abused. Your personal experiences, while a significant part of your life, are not the determinant of what is normative in society any more than my personal experiences are.

I am saying that the idea that spouse abuse is almost exclusively a male thing is bullshit. Is greater than 50% male-initiated? Maybe. Is abuse by males more likely to produce serious physical harm? Probably. Is female-on-male spouse abuse "very rare"? Absolutely not. It's one of those popular myths that is every bit as valid as the idea that women are naive or easily deceived.

I suggest you lose the sexism and realize that all categories of people, on balance, are equally depraved, equally capable of violence, equally capable of being an abuser, and equally prone to being a victim.