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Papa Bear · 08-19-2012, 06:37 PM

Anything made of blue denim was verboten at both Fundy schools I attended. That included denim skirts. One school allowed denim in any color but blue; the other forbade denim in any color. Apparently, either denim is the devil's fabric, or he only likes it in blue. Strangely enough, both schools had an obscure exception on the books for brushed denim. I have no idea why. I had one pair of blue brushed denim jeans. I have no idea where I got them, (or I would have bought a pair for every day of the week) but I stumbled on this loophole, and wore them to school regularly. The kids would always freak out, sure I was flagrantly breaking the dress code. I pointed out the rule, and I was never hassled about them by staff. No one else knew where to find them, either, so I was the only kid allowed to wear jeans to school. Most comfortable pair of pants I ever owned.

**pastor's wife** · 08-19-2012, 07:55 PM

When I went to BJU, there was a required meal on weekdays at 6:00 p.m. (My freshman year was the last year they did this.) Guys had to wear a suit jacket and tie; girls were already in skirts or dresses and hose but could not wear jean skirts or jumpers. I can't remember if we were allowed to wear jean skirts to morning classes or only to PM classes. (There was at the time a slight difference in AM and PM class dress codes, perhaps because we'd be going to chapel four out of five weekdays.)

At my daughter's IFB school, she could wear jean skirts or jean jumpers ANYTIME but could NEVER wear pants. When I switched her to an evangelical Christian school, she could wear khakis (Dockers, etc.) or dress pants with a colored shirt but could NEVER wear jeans, not even a jean skirt, except on Thursdays when students who paid 25 cents could wear jeans! (And when you have permission to wear JEANS, why settle for a jean jumper?)

I really felt like I'd severed final ties with fundamentalism when I got rid of my jean jumpers! lol

ddandb · 08-19-2012, 09:05 PM

Why couldn't the schools just have school rules?
Why did and do they have to perverse the Bible and blame everything on God? And that is just what they are doing, passing the blame on to God.
Rather then say these are simply the school rules of dress and conduct they want to twist scriptures to there ends.
I remember when my son was growing up and wanted to wear his hair long.
I told him no because I just don't like it, you're living at home, so you have to go along with it. I could have passed the buck and twisted some scriptures from the Bible to show how God commands against it, but I really don't think God cares one way or the other.
Today I think some parents and christian educators just don't want to take the heat for their personal decisions. Rather then be honest and say it's a rule and it's how I feel it should be done they want to show something from the Bible that backs them up no mater how convulsed it it is. It's like saying, "Hey, it's not my fault you have to dress or look like this. Don't blame me, blame God."

Historian · (This post was last modified: 08-20-2012 06:44 AM by Historian.)

(08-19-2012 07:55 PM)pastors wife Wrote: When I went to BJU, there was a required meal on weekdays at 6:00 p.m. (My freshman year was the last year they did this.) Guys had to wear a suit jacket and tie; girls were already in skirts or dresses and hose but could not wear jean skirts or jumpers. I can't remember if we were allowed to wear jean skirts to morning classes or only to PM classes. (There was at the time a slight difference in AM and PM class dress codes, perhaps because we'd be going to chapel four out of five weekdays.)

This day/night thing always got to me. In the mornings you had to wear A, but in the evening you could wear B. whether at school or at church. It's just so asinine. It makes no sense, particularly Sunday. If the rational for wearing X on Sunday morning is that you have to honor God with your best why does God not need to be honored with your best on Sunday night? Or did they figure God was kind of tired and wouldn't notice?

**Mominator** · (This post was last modified: 08-20-2012 07:08 AM by Mominator.)

(08-18-2012 06:58 AM)seenthelight Wrote: Anyone who went to a Fundy school (elem/hs/college) has had to follow some rules that just make you want to go "Huh???" because there was no rhyme or reason for the rule.

In my elementary school, we had to stand up whenever another adult walked into the room. If we were in the middle of a timed test or other work or whatever, we had to stop and stand......and remain standing until the person either "dismissed" us to sit or left the room. I never understood this rule b/c the whole thing about school was PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN WORK. Stopping and standing gave many opportunities to look at other people's papers, fidget, etc. I always tried to eaves-drop on what the adults were whispering about!!!

The actual unusual thing about the rule was that it applied to male teachers/principal as well as female teachers/secretaries.

At Maranatha Baptist Bible in WI, I had to get a pass signed to go home which was only an fifteen minutes away and I thought this was so stupid. I was 19 at that time. Now that I look back, I had more freedom when I was 16, than when I went to college. I only lasted two years and then I dropped out.

I was also told that my parents pretty much gave me up to MBBC so that they could be my parent while I was there. That way, they could make sure I didn't backslide, drink and do drugs or get pregnant.

My three kiddos will not step foot in a Fundy U.

amyrose5 · 08-20-2012, 01:17 PM

(08-19-2012 09:05 PM)ddandb Wrote: Why couldn't the schools just have school rules?
Why did and do they have to perverse the Bible and blame everything on God? And that is just what they are doing, passing the blame on to God.
Rather then say these are simply the school rules of dress and conduct they want to twist scriptures to there ends.
I remember when my son was growing up and wanted to wear his hair long.
I told him no because I just don't like it, you're living at home, so you have to go along with it. I could have passed the buck and twisted some scriptures from the Bible to show how God commands against it, but I really don't think God cares one way or the other.
Today I think some parents and christian educators just don't want to take the heat for their personal decisions. Rather then be honest and say it's a rule and it's how I feel it should be done they want to show something from the Bible that backs them up no mater how convulsed it it is. It's like saying, "Hey, it's not my fault you have to dress or look like this. Don't blame me, blame God."

In my experience (six years teaching in an "interdenominational Christian" school --at one point there were about 300 students K-12 from over 20 denominations and over 40 different churches), a lot of the people in the power positions are convinced that all the scripture twisting to justify policies and rules is the right thing to do. In their minds, it is what sets them apart from public or otherwise secular education (a matter of so much pride that it has to cross the line into the level of sin, ftr). They also believe that it is how Christians should live--with everything based on the Bible. They believe that by doing it that way they are building godly character in the students.

The reality is that by the teen years, most kids can see through it. They can see that it is convoluted, illogical and sometimes just plain crazy. And I think it ultimately drives them away from faith. I see that in the lives of many of my former students that have been in touch via Facebook. It drove me away for many years, and I was living in that nightmare as an adult. Not all of them are driven away of course. A small percentage swallows it all without asking questions. They are the ones posting more illogical rules for godly living on Facebook and being subsequently unfriended by their former teacher.

dramaturge · 08-20-2012, 03:36 PM

(08-19-2012 09:05 PM)ddandb Wrote: Why couldn't the schools just have school rules?
Why did and do they have to perverse the Bible and blame everything on God? And that is just what they are doing, passing the blame on to God.
Rather then say these are simply the school rules of dress and conduct they want to twist scriptures to there ends.
I remember when my son was growing up and wanted to wear his hair long.
I told him no because I just don't like it, you're living at home, so you have to go along with it. I could have passed the buck and twisted some scriptures from the Bible to show how God commands against it, but I really don't think God cares one way or the other.
Today I think some parents and christian educators just don't want to take the heat for their personal decisions. Rather then be honest and say it's a rule and it's how I feel it should be done they want to show something from the Bible that backs them up no mater how convulsed it it is. It's like saying, "Hey, it's not my fault you have to dress or look like this. Don't blame me, blame God."

I teach at a non-denominational Christian school. Every so often something randomly fundy pops up (like the random ban on Harry Potter), but otherwise, it's definitely not a fundy environment. It's a uniform school, so that cuts down on a lot of silliness over dress code. Everything else is just "these are the school rules"--no mess, no bother, no trying to defend a rule with some obtuse scriptural reference. It's very nice. I would have a really difficult time dealing with rules that were supposedly "Bible-based." I have no trouble saying, "Hey, that's what we've decided works best for the school. There you go. When you go to a different school, they'll have different rules. That's just the way things work." It's certainly a whole lot more defensible and reasonable when kids (esp. middle schoolers) inevitably question why they have to do a thing--it's because those are the rules of the school, not because there's some blame-shifting, God-guilt-trip. I think both you and amyrose5 hit the nail on the head: it's absolutely a blame shift, and so many fundies do think that is the way they're supposed to be separate. The problem is that they don't really know why the rules are the rules (those random verses don't really make sense even to those most determined to make everything "Bible-based"), so then it becomes a big shift of blame to God--"I'm sorry you don't like it, but that's the way God said we should do it in the Bible. Look at this verse [insert verse every teenager can see through]." Then it all just ends up making teens struggle against the image of God they're handed. It's dumb. It ends up having no practical or spiritual value in their lives, whereas "Hey, this is the way we decided it works best" is actually a dictate they'll need to learn to adhere to for the rest of their lives.

HazelEyed · 08-20-2012, 11:38 PM

(08-18-2012 06:48 PM)tena Wrote: There were two rules that made me crazy at my Fundy U. The first was no ironing on Sunday. It was the only day of the week I actually had time to iron because I didn't work on that day, but for some reason it was very sinful to iron on Sundays. The second crazy rule was no walking by yourself after dark. It was perfectly acceptable to stand on some dark corner for an hour hoping someone would come by, but not okay to just do the 10 minute walk over to where you needed to go. CRAZY! I was great at ditching the security people trying to give me demerits when I was strolling in the dark.

No ironing on Sunday! We had that rule....I forgot all about it until just now! So weird. I never iron anything, so I didn't care, but it always made me shake my head. I suppose it was part of a "don't work on Sunday" thing, but you were actually allowed to work on Sunday at my FU. So... sort of nonsensical.

Papa Bear · 08-21-2012, 07:53 AM

(08-19-2012 09:05 PM)ddandb Wrote: Why couldn't the schools just have school rules?
Why did and do they have to perverse the Bible and blame everything on God? And that is just what they are doing, passing the blame on to God.
Rather then say these are simply the school rules of dress and conduct they want to twist scriptures to there ends.

That's the thing people who've never been in this kind of school don't understand. They're always saying things like, "You know that school has a lot of rules; if you don't like those rules, don't go there," (as if most Fundy kids had a choice where their parents send them to school) or, "It's like the military; they have a lot of rules to teach discipline and teamwork."

It is NOT the same. The military forces recognize that their rules are made for a particular time and place, and serve a particular purpose, and have no objection to people not under their rules doing things differently. An infraction has specific consequences, but an accidental and minor infraction is not seen as a sign of an evil heart or permanent black mark on one's character. The Air Force does not despise the Marine Corps for having its own set of regulations. Fundies act as if their particular rules were brought down the mountain with the Ten Commandments. Anyone who doesn't follow their rules, even other Fundies with equally strict and arbitrary, but arbitrarily different rules is less spiritual, and possibly bound for Hell. Every infraction, however minor and accidental, is regarded as a sign of a deep-seated rebellion, which in Fundy eyes is a combination of blasphemy, treason, and contempt of court, and is cause for a kangaroo court martial.

amyrose5 · 08-21-2012, 10:33 AM

(08-21-2012 07:53 AM)Papa Bear Wrote: Fundies act as if their particular rules were brought down the mountain with the Ten Commandments. Anyone who doesn't follow their rules, even other Fundies with equally strict and arbitrary, but arbitrarily different rules is less spiritual, and possibly bound for Hell. Every infraction, however minor and accidental, is regarded as a sign of a deep-seated rebellion, which in Fundy eyes is a combination of blasphemy, treason, and contempt of court, and is cause for a kangaroo court martial.

Yep...and where I taught we had over twenty denominations represented among the faculty, staff and student body, as well as over forty churches (and, of course, First Baptist had different rules than Second Baptist which had different rules than Fifth Baptist Twice Removed). So the "discussions" (we weren't allowed to call them arguments) over whose rules were most right and godly were never ending. As a teacher, I sat through many a court martial myself for infractions like using the word "evolved" (in reference to how languages change over time) and knowing what specific date Bill Clinton was inaugurated as president (apparently I was the only person there aware of the 20th Amendment which makes all of them get inaugurated on the same day of the same month).