What was the worst trouble you got in at church??

[seenthelight]

Our church had these tacky hand-me-down white plastic-ish pews. One Sunday during communion, Kevin (RIP) decided to play with the cup b/c communion, as always lasted waaaay too long. He gently maneuvered the plastic cup this way and that way, forming ovals instead of the circle God had intended for the cup. Well, after a few minutes of all of us watching him (while still singing and confessing all of our sins, of course), the cup cracked. Not a little either. We could hear the juice going drip-drip-drip onto the tacky pews and then onto the floor. Laughter was not an option but it happened anyway! Kevin finally got up, clutching the still-dripping cup, and rushed out the back door. More unfortunate laughter.

My punishment was that for a month I had to sit in a pew in front of where my parents sat. If they sat in row 7, I could only sit in rows 1-6. I couldn't convince my friends to sit up front with me, so I was a lonely church girl for a month.

That was a long time ago, but I still think about it a lot......and laugh!!

[Perry]

I got in trouble for singing karaoke at my friend's birthday party when I was 15. Apparently a parent that was there reported me to the pastor/school principal even though there were other kids from the school singing that didn't get in trouble. I was told when I was called into the pastor's office the next school day that they expected more of me because I was supposed to be the "good kid", and that I needed to get right with God, and how my actions hurt the cause of Christ. I didn't really get in trouble for it, but this situation, along with some other incidents (including one in which my abusive stepmother called the pastor and told him lies about me, leading to another meeting in which I was criticized), really affected me negatively. I still have a hard time telling people about my interests or talking to people because I'm so concerned about being judged or ridiculed for my opinions and preferences, or being rejected. To someone who strived to be the best person he could possibly be only to be criticized for doing one thing wrong, it really hurt. It may be even more serious to me because I have a history of anxiety and depression already. Anyway, that's the only thing I ever really got in trouble for at the church.

[Sophie]

The most trouble I ever got into at church was barely anything. (I was drinking the Kool-Aid so happily and faithfully back then!) While sitting in chapel listening to a guest speaker, my bookmark slid onto the floor and my friend picked it up for me. After the chapel service, we both got called into the principal's office because apparently the guest speaker had seen her handing me my bookmark and told the principal we were "passing notes".

And that's the most trouble I ever got in. I was a super good fundy student who looked down on the girls who wore their polo shirts too tight and talked to boys without a chaperone. XD

[Persnickety Polecat]

I was an energetic kid. I once was running down the aisles of a theater that was being renovated into a church. It wasn't even the actual church yet -- still a theater and still very much in the renovation stage, and I was a little kid. My parents were standing around talking to the pastor. I tripped over a board someone had left laying in the aisle, and I fell tail over teakettle and crashed into what would eventually be the altar. I ended up with a nail stuck in my forehead. Needed stitches. I got beaten pretty good over that one. "What were you THINKING for running in church?!? God gave you what you deserved!"

And then there was the tooth incident, but that was technically church grounds, not church. I was playing outside while my parents were on Saturday soulwinning. They'd told me expressly not to go outside, but whoever was babysitting took ALL the kids outside, so I went with them (like a 9 yo is going to sit in an empty church building alone? Yeah, right). So out we went. We stacked these giant pipes up to make slides on (church still being renovated), and when it was my turn, some doofus kicked the base of the slide, and I got knocked down. Apparently, something hit me in the mouth, or I hit something on the way down. One tooth got knocked out entirely, another got jammed up into the jawbone, and another got chipped. Needless to say, after the emergency room visit, I was in a LOT of trouble for my disobedience and deliberate defiance of my parents' order.

In fact, for more than 20 years, every time I had to have dental work due to that damned lost tooth, I got to hear about how it was God's judgment for being a rebellious child. It's really no wonder I never bought into the sheer idiocy of fundydom. I thought even then that if God was so vengeful and spiteful to knock a kid's tooth out because she didn't know which adult to obey (my parents who told me to stay inside by myself or the church teacher under whose authority they left me), then He was pretty darned stupid to begin with, and I didn't believe that. It was easier to believe the church itself was stupid.

[exOBCstudent]

I was selected just like usual to play the offertory on Sunday morning on the piano. I worked hours and made my own southern style arrangement of "Mansion Over the Hilltop" just the way my IFB piano teacher taught me. When I played it the people seemed to really enjoy it. Apparently that was the problem...they enjoyed it. I was pulled into the pastor's office and lectured about my "worldly" style of music and informed that the pastor doesn't prefer that kind of piano playing anyway. I was then instructed to have my offertories "screened" the Sunday before they were to be played.

If I ever meet that pastor again I should thank him because of that stupidity I decided to walk out of there and NEVER return to Fundamentalism again. That day I clearly saw the double standards going on and that I was "wrong" simply because I grew up in the south, learned from one of the best teachers in my region, and my playing just wasn't his style so it was all wrong.

Thanks dude and if you ever read this I'm so glad you caused me to question the stupidity of that reasoning one last time. I'm MUCH happier now that I can play whatever the hell I want.

/end rant.

[southern northerner]

I would not go to the church's harvest party. I said when people dress up as a bloody beheaded John the Baptist, or zombie-ish as the maniac of Gaderah (sp) that is was nothing more than a Halloween party and wasn't going to take part. I was then "read the riot act" how I was not loyal to my preacher, and I should attend anything that the church does to show respect for the pastor, and support the ministry of Christ. It was a 30 minute sermon on man worship. Then I was made fun of because there were poinsettias on the pulpit. I was asked if I was offended by the plants because it represents the Christmas season and it is not religious, yet still in the church. I have no idea where that garbage came from, or what is was to mean, but whatever floated her boat. I thought I was just using their logic as far as abstaining from all appearances of evil, and bloody costumes were "of the devil". lol. I guess I was drinking the wrong flavor of kool-aid for that subject. By the way, I don't think trick-or-treating is wrong now. I look my little girl out, and she had a great time.

[JeseC]

I asked the youth pastor if wine in the Bible was non-alcoholic, why did Proverbs talk so much about not getting drunk?

[Papa Bear]

Ah, but logic is such a powerful weapon that only the Mog and people he specially designates should be allowed to handle it, and they should only use it under his supervision, doncha know? Once an individual starts thinking for himself or herself, he/she might think unapproved thoughts, and then there's no telling where they'll end up.

BTW, the same goes for humor. Only joke about topics the Mog has joked about, or better yet, only repeat his jokes. When he does it, it's wit and discernment. When you do it, it's scoffing, and you know where that leads.

(08-10-2012 10:58 AM)southern northerner Wrote:  I would not go to the church's harvest party. I said when people dress up as a bloody beheaded John the Baptist, or zombie-ish as the maniac of Gaderah (sp) that is was nothing more than a Halloween party and wasn't going to take part. I was then "read the riot act" how I was not loyal to my preacher, and I should attend anything that the church does to show respect for the pastor, and support the ministry of Christ. It was a 30 minute sermon on man worship. Then I was made fun of because there were poinsettias on the pulpit. I was asked if I was offended by the plants because it represents the Christmas season and it is not religious, yet still in the church. I have no idea where that garbage came from, or what is was to mean, but whatever floated her boat. I thought I was just using their logic as far as abstaining from all appearances of evil, and bloody costumes were "of the devil". lol. I guess I was drinking the wrong flavor of kool-aid for that subject. By the way, I don't think trick-or-treating is wrong now. I look my little girl out, and she had a great time.

[seenthelight]

Perry: It always amazed me when kids in our church/school got in trouble at church/school for things that they did on the weekend or off property of the school not during school hours. Talk about being owned...........

[boymom]

I never got in trouble cause I never got caught.