Contact With The Past

[Phatchick]

I never really saw the point. I had no issues with anyone in my church, it was the dogma and social expectations that were the problem. On those rare occasions when I run into somebody, We're both always friendly and polite. I don't see most of them because once I left fundyism, I also left the only thing holding our friendships together.

[Jenni]

I try to be friendly and polite to everyone now, knowing that even the Fundies have the freedom/right to be Fundy, just like I have the freedom not to be Fundy anymore. I did delete a lot of my IFB friends from Facebook, but those weren't people I had regular contact with, anyway. If any of my former coworkers, etc., ask to friend me on FB, I accept them, with the exception of a couple of people in authority who do things like that for spying purposes rather than for fellowship.

[Fred]

We were in a "small" town. (2500) I was ready to leave the church but ciouldn't figure out a way to do it without strife. I was a deacon I was ready to go for almost 3 yrs. Then, I believe, God opened up the dream job for me 3000 miles away. I took and praised God for it. I hoped to ease away with no big controvesy over doctrine or deacon leaving etc... I should not have beeen surprised but I was. We had 6 weeks to be at the new job so we were the subject of "every" sermon and given the silent treatment to our face by all the insiders, my friends, and derided behind our backs. My children and wife were devastated. Instead of preping my house to sell I spent my last 2 weeks installing a ventilation system in the church because I "promised" and didn't want to break my promise to pastor, even as he wouldn't speak to me. Loyal to a fault.
Our new church is still Baptist but not fundamental. It is strange to fellowship withother churches and be a part of society again. Children have trust issues as well as I but I know there were lessons to learn here. I have a horrible tendancy to follow, I want to follow a good leader. God has helped me dicern what that is through this. I still miss "some" of them. I think they were hurt that I would leave them and their blind loyalty to the pastor made it impossible to remain friends with them. Others saw the treatment we got. It eventually led to 4 other families leaving which could have been avoided if pastor had done the honorable thing and just remained civil and let us go in peace. The very thing I didn't want to happen happened. I think God had some lessons for several folks there.

(02-11-2011 12:10 PM)pastors wife Wrote:  It would be easier to remain friends with people who go to another church if fundies didn't separate from nearly every other church in the area. If you knew that you might see those folks at a rally or a Christian concert, you'd be able to continue a friendship -- you could sit together or go out to lunch afterwards. But in IFB churches, your whole life revolves around your church with very little interaction with other churches so when someone leaves, it's like they've left your life forever. (At least that's how it's been in my experience.)

Now I love that I have friends in many different churches and I don't have to view them with suspicion anymore. Even my charasmatic friend -- I know she loves Jesus sincerely. I love being free!