Who is an ex-fundy?

[pastor's wife]

Although nearly all of us call ourselves ex-fundies, many of us have also been told that we are NOT ex-fundies but still fundamentalists. Sometimes the term is used because of our beliefs; sometimes it's because of associations we're in or books we enjoy reading; sometimes it's because of an attitude that says, "My way or the highway."

I tend to prefer to use the term "fundamentalist" in the way I grew up understanding it: a person who not only held to the fundamentals of the Christian faith but also to a list of certain behaviors as well as a connection to certain institutions be it BJU, PCC, HAC, Sword of the Lord, etc. Thus, if someone insists that anyone who doesn't think like he does is an idiot, they are not, in my opinion, being a fundamentalist, but rather demonstrating the same narrow-minded, unloving arrogance that bothered us when we saw it in our IFB churches. I might say then, not that they ARE a fundamentalist, but that their behavior shows that they've not changed their attitude just their beliefs.

On the other hand, while I've changed SOME of my beliefs, I still hold unswervingly to a conservative, traditional understanding of Christianity so I've been told that I'm still a fundamentalist even though I try daily to live in grace not self-righteousness, to focus on unity where I can instead of separation, and to be loving instead of judgmental and walk in liberty not extra-Biblical standards.

To me, you're an ex-fundamentalist if you reject the term, have rejected key issues dear to fundamentalists, and in turn, have been rejected by fundamentalists. Thus while IFB fundamentalists may look very similar, ex-fundies are very, very diverse.

[JessB]

Some non-fundy pastors I know like to say they are an "historic fundamentalist". That differentiates them from "fundies". A true Christian fundamentalist believes in the fundamentals of the faith which are not to be confused with the rantings and ravings of egotistical sociopaths.

[Bob M]

Larry Oats wrote his Doctoral Dissertation on Fundamentalism. He basically defined it as Evangelicalism with Separation. Others re-defined it as secondary Separation, becuase everyone practices separation at some level, but only fundy's separate from people who do not separate.

Since leaving, I generally call someone a fundy if they add numerous rules to the Christian life that are not central to the Bible.


Examples.

KJVO
Anti-CCM
No pants on ladies
No beards on men
No mixed bathing
No makeup


You get the picture.

I REJECT FUNDAMENTALISM.

[pastor's wife]

JessB, I agree, but the sad thing is that the fundamentalists of the type we describe on SFL separate from and denigrate plenty of "historic fundamentalists". Thus even people who could truly be considered historically fundamentalist tend to avoid the word because of associations.

Bob M, that's the sort of fundamentalism I reject as well.

BTW, my poll may not be the best worded. I was trying to think of things I've heard said.

[EmilyKing]

I think what defines an ex-fundy is no longer criticizing or looking down on those who think or believe differently than them. I consider many people here still fundy because of their love of arguing and bringing name calling/hormones/raging pms into every discussion. I consider you ex-fundy, even though you're a fairly conservative Christian, because you're very polite in your disagreements and don't go around looking for fights. I have a lot of respect for that.

[EmilyKing]

My original fundy church, before HAC, was a model of how people should act. The pastor was very conservative, but he and his wife were always kind to people, no matter their beliefs. They weren't aggressive like many people I saw once I got to HAC. I consider myself agnostic, but if I was in their area, I'd go out of my way to visit them, because I consider them one of the best families I know.

[exOBCstudent]

I wish I could've chosen both options 4 and 5 for a couple personal reasons.

First, you can't really be an "ex" fundy if you never leave in the first place. If you never openly separate from the cult, members there will constantly be trying to pull you back in and the pressure is too easy unless you draw your line in the sand. That was the only way I was able to literally break free from all the bondage and intimidation they had on my family and I.

Second, I really find it important that a person be WILLING to question every. single. thing. they were taught while in the cult, including the so-called "fundamentals". In order to be SURE you've got the truth you really must put it ALL to the test and study it out for yourself. Once you learn the depth of lies and brainwashing you've been through there really is no other way to keep your remaining sanity other than to fact check everything and trust no one until you figure some things out.

I'm an ex-fundy because I've verbally and literally separated myself from ALL things IFB and even related to it. I now question every teaching I hear from a person standing behind a spiritual position of "authority" and am determined to never let myself be fooled again. My relationship with my Lord will not be easily taken advantage of by any man EVER again if I can help it.

[SomethingFundy]

/fundy lite more than anything is where I fit in and I balance between that or just saying forget all of this.

[exOBCstudent]

(07-10-2012 10:08 AM)SomethingFundy Wrote:  /fundy lite more than anything is where I fit in and I balance between that or just saying forget all of this.

Fundy-lite is the easiest option but it still has kept my in-laws in bondage to the Fundy church and they suffer financially because of it. It may be less concentrate, but it's still a deadly drug.

[Historian]

I answered "other," but I was strongly tempted to choose the one above it. Ultimately I decided on the "other" option because of the definition of "fundy" that I use. I think that's part of the problem with any poll or discussion–ultimately it kind of means different things to different people, depending on their experiences.

I, too, grew up hearing the term "fundamentalist" used in the sense of "someone who believes the fundamental tenants of the Christian faith." (Being outside the "fundy" camp, we never added any kind of behavior ideas to that definition). When I then ended up at a Fundy U and actually met my first fundies, in time the term came to mean in my mind a modern equivalent to "Pharisee." That is, a fundy became to my mind someone who added all kinds of rules and ideas to God's Word, elevated what they created to be equivalent to Scripture, and then tried to force them on others as a test of spirituality. Secondarily, it also came to mean to me someone who took non-essentials or weird interpretations of obscure passages of Scripture and tried to make them essential: so believing in dispensational premillenialism became as essential as the substitutionary atonement; believing that the only proper church government is the "1 pastor as emperor" model was just as important as the virgin birth of Christ.

I was particularly struck by this from PW's original post: "Thus, if someone insists that anyone who doesn't think like he does is an idiot, they are not, in my opinion, being a fundamentalist, but rather demonstrating the same narrow-minded, unloving arrogance that bothered us when we saw it in our IFB churches. I might say then, not that they ARE a fundamentalist, but that their behavior shows that they've not changed their attitude just their beliefs." This is absolutely right, and I'm always a little disturbed by those who are just as arrogant and hateful about fundies who don't agree with them as any fundy is towards those who disagree with him.