Bullying in Christian School

[Jenn]

I was bullied in Christian school. I was an easy target. I wish I had been stronger or more witty so I could deflect insults, but I was small and weak and cried easily.

In 5th grade the mean girls would not let me sit at their lunch table. I went home and cried to my mom and she called the teacher and the teacher made the kids let me sit with them the next day. I learned quickly that it is best to keep your mouth shut and never tell parents or teachers what is going on.

The thing is, you'd think being a victim should make one more compassionate towards other victims, but that was not the case. There were kids that were more picked on than me, especially in high school. The goal is to not be the victim, so you point out that another person is worse than you... leave me alone, that more yucky person is the one you should go after.

I feel really bad about it now. I know that many of those kids that were the most bullied came from very troubled homes. I can only imagine what it's like to go from home to school and back with no refuge from abuse.

The kid world is like the wild animal world. Self preservation. Survival of the fittest. If somebody hurts you, you don't get a lawyer. You don't get to file for sexual harassment. Verbal abuse. Physical abuse. You just have to take it.

[Faith]

Wow, I was just writing about that at the same time as you!
http://www.stufffundieslike.com/forum/sh...06#pid7906

I was bullied and I was a bully. Like you said "The goal is to not be the victim, so you point out that another person is worse than you... leave me alone, that more yucky person is the one you should go after."

I was smart, funny, and good with words so I made a formidable bully. I was an absolute bastard to several people and made their lives hell. All to try to shift the focus away from me. I think that's the time of my life I have the biggest regrets about.

[Jenn]

Yeah, I wrote that right before I read your reply.

Not what I expected. I guess you knew how to take care of yourself as a boy.

[Faith]

In the same way a fox in a trap lashes out at the trapper. The things I did never helped me, they only hurt others.

[hac84]

I was a teacher in a Christian school. We had a BIG problem with bullying and I set out to do something about it. I ran into a brick wall. The bullies told me they were working on the orders of the pastor. "These kids are sissies and preacher wants us to toughen them up." (The kids were in no way effeminate, they were just more quiet, introverted and a little less coordinated.) I even checked with the pastor, and yes, he did have the bullies "toughen up" kids. Of course, if you had been to one of the services, the pastor was quite a bully himself.

[supernova8610]

(02-11-2011 10:44 AM)hac84 Wrote:  I was a teacher in a Christian school. We had a BIG problem with bullying and I set out to do something about it. I ran into a brick wall. The bullies told me they were working on the orders of the pastor. "These kids are sissies and preacher wants us to toughen them up." (The kids were in no way effeminate, they were just more quiet, introverted and a little less coordinated.) I even checked with the pastor, and yes, he did have the bullies "toughen up" kids. Of course, if you had been to one of the services, the pastor was quite a bully himself.

What a horrible pastor!

[pastor's wife]

(02-11-2011 10:44 AM)hac84 Wrote:  I was a teacher in a Christian school. We had a BIG problem with bullying and I set out to do something about it. I ran into a brick wall. The bullies told me they were working on the orders of the pastor. "These kids are sissies and preacher wants us to toughen them up." (The kids were in no way effeminate, they were just more quiet, introverted and a little less coordinated.) I even checked with the pastor, and yes, he did have the bullies "toughen up" kids. Of course, if you had been to one of the services, the pastor was quite a bully himself.

The longer I'm thinking about your post the madder I'm getting. Where, oh, where, where, where does this so-called "pastor" find any justification for this in Scripture? This is beyond ridiculous; it is evil. It is ungodly and cruel. "Love is patient, love is kind. . . It does not dishonor others."

As a nerdy bookworm myself, I could tell the difference between someone who truly cared for me and wanted to help me with my makeup so I'd look my best for a special event vs. someone who would just say mean things hoping to "motivate" me to change. Blech.

What a haven for Satan a school/church like that is.

[Just Curious]

(02-11-2011 12:43 PM)pastors wife Wrote:  What a haven for Satan a school/church like that is.

Probably goes there to kick back and relax on weekends.

[LMcC]

(02-11-2011 10:44 AM)hac84 Wrote:  I was a teacher in a Christian school. We had a BIG problem with bullying and I set out to do something about it. I ran into a brick wall. The bullies told me they were working on the orders of the pastor. "These kids are sissies and preacher wants us to toughen them up." (The kids were in no way effeminate, they were just more quiet, introverted and a little less coordinated.) I even checked with the pastor, and yes, he did have the bullies "toughen up" kids. Of course, if you had been to one of the services, the pastor was quite a bully himself.

Wow, that's pure evil.

I was definitely bullied. Being a year younger than everyone else in my grade and quite a few in the grade behind me had definite disadvantages. If I came home in tears only twice a week, that was a good week. I lived under constant threats and insults. After gym, there was the threat to throw me out of the locker room before I could get properly dressed (and this was actually done to someone else). I almost never heard my first name pronounced properly except my my close friends. I got it from students and staff alike. There was nowhere to turn. The only way things got easier was as each class ahead of me graduated, and my senior year when I was allowed to show up just long enough to do my work and leave. I have PTSD as a result.

And I was stupid enough to think, back when I was not-quite-nine and starting to this Christian school "these people will love me because they love Jesus". No, I wasn't stupid. I was lied to by people who claimed to have God on their side.

In any event, I now hate Christian schools and wish they could all be closed, or at least forced to be properly accredited and the students have access to helpline numbers. It alarms people who now have their kids in Christian schools, but tough. The truth hurts.

[Scorpio]

(02-11-2011 11:38 AM)supernova8610 Wrote:  What a horrible pastor!

What a horrible man