A Civil Discourse

[Papa Bear]

(06-30-2012 12:30 PM)Darrell Wrote:  There have been a lot of energetic discussions here recently on a wide variety of topics from immigration issues to healthcare to LGBT equality and so on. For the most part we have a pretty well-educated and vocal community who are not afraid to vigorously defend their ideas and that's great. But even here in the company of friends, I've noticed something in microcosm speaks to our larger political discourse: we tend to take disagreement as personal rejection and respond with personal attacks.

It's not just the Politics and Current Events forum. There are notable exceptions, but SFL posters as a group have become nastier. That's why I don't come around here much any more.

[Darrell]

Quote: SFL posters as a group have become nastier.

I think we've just become more familiar with each other and you know what familiarity breeds...

[Bob M]

(07-02-2012 04:56 PM)Darrell Wrote:  

Quote: SFL posters as a group have become nastier.

I think we've just become more familiar with each other and you know what familiarity breeds...

Well, no one was familiar with me and I was demonized immediately.

[Zadig]

(07-02-2012 05:54 PM)Bob M Wrote:  Well, no one was familiar with me and I was demonized immediately.

Wonder why?

[elfdream]

I obviously don't know what is going on inside people's heads but one of the many after effects of cult fundyism is go into the attack defensive mode when challenged or called a name or when a point of view/deeply held belief is made fun of or dismised. Some of honestly think thats just the way we are and cannot change.

I believe the majority of us were programned to react that way. I can speak from experience. Its hard to bite your tongue and let the inflammatory remarks go but with practise we can reach that point where we barely even notice the jabs anymore.

Then again you are going to have to want to shake it off. Some just love to poke at people but we pretty much learn to ignore them too.

[captain_solo]

(06-30-2012 08:00 PM)bean Wrote:  Can we all just agree on the following?
1. Dogs rock. Especially yellow labs.
2. Marijuana laws are stupid.
3. The Yankees are the evil empire.
4. Talk radio is okay, but Talk of the Nation is the best.
5. The Coen brothers movies are kinda weird. And that Fargo movie, boy, they didn't get our accent right...At. all...there..
6. Apple is great if you can afford it.
7. Hotmail is SO 1999. Gmail is where it's at.

http://www.alternet.org/culture/156077/f...age=entire

1. Dogs are meh - except black pugs and golden retrievers
2. Marijuana laws are as stupid as Marijuana use
3. Agreed
4. or Bluegrass Junction on SiriusXM...
5. But they won me over with the True Grit remake - the book came to life in their version
6. I prefer to roll my own...see also #2
7. Gmail rocks - almost as much as SFL

We can have civil discussion of anything, see.

I usually respond to vicious attacks with humor and sarcasm, its fun, theraputic, and provides comic relief to others who read the hate. Of course the hater will pick one element of the sarcasm and re-hammer their point again while ignoring the tongue in cheek redirection, providing even further hilarity for those who have learned to not take themselves and their opinions seriously, OTOH I am an opinionated basterd.

[Persnickety Polecat]

(07-03-2012 03:04 PM)captain_solo Wrote:  

(06-30-2012 08:00 PM)bean Wrote:  Can we all just agree on the following?
1. Dogs rock. Especially yellow labs.
2. Marijuana laws are stupid.
3. The Yankees are the evil empire.
4. Talk radio is okay, but Talk of the Nation is the best.
5. The Coen brothers movies are kinda weird. And that Fargo movie, boy, they didn't get our accent right...At. all...there..
6. Apple is great if you can afford it.
7. Hotmail is SO 1999. Gmail is where it's at.

http://www.alternet.org/culture/156077/f...age=entire

1. Dogs are meh - except black pugs and golden retrievers
2. Marijuana laws are as stupid as Marijuana use
3. Agreed
4. or Bluegrass Junction on SiriusXM...
5. But they won me over with the True Grit remake - the book came to life in their version
6. I prefer to roll my own...see also #2
7. Gmail rocks - almost as much as SFL

We can have civil discussion of anything, see.

I usually respond to vicious attacks with humor and sarcasm, its fun, theraputic, and provides comic relief to others who read the hate. Of course the hater will pick one element of the sarcasm and re-hammer their point again while ignoring the tongue in cheek redirection, providing even further hilarity for those who have learned to not take themselves and their opinions seriously, OTOH I am an opinionated basterd.

I can tolerate the things as long as they aren't crapping in my yard or damaging my grass with big burnt spots. I hate bad owners, I guess. But it pretty much all amounts to the same thing ...

[usernametaken]

(07-03-2012 06:03 AM)elfdream Wrote:  I obviously don't know what is going on inside people's heads but one of the many after effects of cult fundyism is go into the attack defensive mode when challenged or called a name or when a point of view/deeply held belief is made fun of or dismised. Some of honestly think thats just the way we are and cannot change.

I believe the majority of us were programned to react that way. I can speak from experience. Its hard to bite your tongue and let the inflammatory remarks go but with practise we can reach that point where we barely even notice the jabs anymore.

Then again you are going to have to want to shake it off. Some just love to poke at people but we pretty much learn to ignore them too.

One of the hardest things for me to shake is the assumption that everone is wrongl but me. I alone have the sole truth. While I am still very confident in what I believe, I still want to get angrily defensive if I hear an opposing view. I am getting better at hearing out what others have to say, but I have a long way to go.

[elfdream]

(07-07-2012 12:10 AM)usernametaken Wrote:  

(07-03-2012 06:03 AM)elfdream Wrote:  I obviously don't know what is going on inside people's heads but one of the many after effects of cult fundyism is go into the attack defensive mode when challenged or called a name or when a point of view/deeply held belief is made fun of or dismised. Some of honestly think thats just the way we are and cannot change.

I believe the majority of us were programned to react that way. I can speak from experience. Its hard to bite your tongue and let the inflammatory remarks go but with practise we can reach that point where we barely even notice the jabs anymore.

Then again you are going to have to want to shake it off. Some just love to poke at people but we pretty much learn to ignore them too.

One of the hardest things for me to shake is the assumption that everone is wrongl but me. I alone have the sole truth. While I am still very confident in what I believe, I still want to get angrily defensive if I hear an opposing view. I am getting better at hearing out what others have to say, but I have a long way to go.

You are on your way to recovery. It takes time and and a lot of patience...with yourself.

[Bob M]

(07-07-2012 12:10 AM)usernametaken Wrote:  

(07-03-2012 06:03 AM)elfdream Wrote:  I obviously don't know what is going on inside people's heads but one of the many after effects of cult fundyism is go into the attack defensive mode when challenged or called a name or when a point of view/deeply held belief is made fun of or dismised. Some of honestly think thats just the way we are and cannot change.

I believe the majority of us were programned to react that way. I can speak from experience. Its hard to bite your tongue and let the inflammatory remarks go but with practise we can reach that point where we barely even notice the jabs anymore.

Then again you are going to have to want to shake it off. Some just love to poke at people but we pretty much learn to ignore them too.

One of the hardest things for me to shake is the assumption that everone is wrongl but me. I alone have the sole truth. While I am still very confident in what I believe, I still want to get angrily defensive if I hear an opposing view. I am getting better at hearing out what others have to say, but I have a long way to go.

That is a process that God is still working on in me. I pray regularly that he will drain the bathtub full of anger from my heart.