Church Switch

[supernova8610]

This thread is for those of you who are in the process of switching from an IFB church to another denom (or to no church at all), for those who have already switched churches, and for those who are thinking about it but have not yet done so.

As for me… I grew up going to church. The first church I remember was a Baptist church (not IFB), but when I was 6, my family moved to another town. We started going to a non-denominational church. I was there until my last year of high school when, at the invitation of a friend, I began going to my current (and soon to be ex-) IFB church. I really liked it. The people were warm and friendly and I felt accepted. But I didn’t know much about the church at that time.

I never completely agreed with everything they said... I wore pants and read my trusty NIV. I went to movie theaters and listened to non-IFB-approved music. That's probably one of the reasons they never really made an effort to include me in things. Sure, when I played their game they paid me attention. But when I went any other way, I was ignored (in the sense that they were nice and polite to me, but not overtly friendly. This didn't go for everyone, but it went for most people.

The time came for me to decided which college I wanted to go to. I briefly considered one of the IFB colleges my church supports, but in the end decided on the community college for a couple years. They were fine with that. But when the time came for me to transfer to a four year university, I felt like I was being pressured into attending one of my church's "approved" colleges. I nearly bowed into it, too... thank goodness my parents wouldn't let me go to an IFB college. I prayed about it, too, and to make a long story short, ended up at a Christian liberal arts college in SoCal (Biola University).

I can't say how glad I am that I went there. It helped me realized just how shallow some of the theology at my IFB church can be, and that instead of preaching to us, the pastor more often preached AT us. Biola really opened my eyes to what was going on in the IFB church; I grew more in Christ during my 2 1/2 years at Biola than I ever had before.

Unfortunately, the people at my IFB church put me on a kind of back-burner. They really paid attention to those who chose to attend one of their colleges. But not me (not that I care, truth be told). I even heard one person at my church say that Biola isn't really a Christian university, which made me mad (imo, that person was only speaking out of ignorance).

Yes, there are good people at my IFB church who I do trust. But I can count them all on one hand. Anyway, my dad started telling me of another church here in town (non-denom as far as I know) that was geared more toward people my age, so I recently decided to give it a go. Verdict? LOVE LOVE LOVE it. Solid theology. They preach what the Bible says. They go by God's standards, not man's standards. They don't have any hang-ups about using just ONE Bible version. It's just an all around AMAZING church and I absolutely LOVE it.

As of now, I'm attending both churches. I'll go to my new church sometimes and other times go to my IFB church; I've attended it for about 6 years now so it'll be hard leaving it completely. I just hope the people I've come to love there don't cut me off or anything once they find out I've been attending another church instead of theirs.

[Lizzy F.]

I went to an IFB church when I was small with my parents. We moved frequently, so we quit going to church. I started going again when I was in my third year of college.

They love bombed me. I was accepted, loved and encouraged, but I dealt with a lot of crap because it was a secular state school and they didn't give my any support or practical suggestions. I was repeatedly encouraged to transfer to BJU and when I wouldn't my problems were ignored.

When I didn't become an official member (I wanted to understand theology better before I committed to their beliefs) they withdrew. They became completely disconnected from my needs, instead using me to ask about my sibling (who had gone to BJU).

It was always obvious that I didn't completely agree with everything they said because I wore my sneakers to church. I have horrible joints (thanks to heredity) and weird feet, so dress shoes are absolute agony. Those women looked down on me and completely ignored the fact that I limp.

I made the decision to leave before my Sr. Music recital. I didn't want the even to be marred by memories of them being there if they were just going to dump me later and I wanted to see if they cared enough to come to my event even despite me leaving the church.

None of them came and I haven't seen any of them since.

I haven't found another church yet because it's a REALLY small town and somehow the pastor and his wife seem very well connected. Gossip is really bad here and I don't want anything to do with them again.

[Jenni]

I went to an IFB church before college, during college at BJU, then after college when I moved to teach at a Fundy Christian school. I never really did agree with all of the goofy rules (women not wearing pants, church checking to see if you're really tithing, the music pastor being the only one who can listen to CCM to find "redeemable" songs, etc. etc.), but I went along with them because I thought it was important to submit to my authority. Then I realized my authority was wrong and that I could leave if I wanted to. So I did. My choice to leave caused those in leadership to attempt to dig up more dirt on me, which only intensified my desire to leave.

I'm so glad I left. It's been weird to church search with a list of what's really important instead of things like "do they use KJV" and "do they sing songs from the Majesty hymnal." I realized that until now I haven't really been able to choose my own church - at BJ I had to go to a church on "the approved list," and when I taught I was required to go to that school's church.

[Perry]

I am still thinking about switching churches. Having been at my IFB church since I was 11 (I am now 18), it would be really hard for me to leave. The church has several key beliefs I find hard to believe in, such as King James-onlyism. But I simply wouldn't know where to go once I left. Plus, 95% of my friends are in the church, and I spend just about every day there as a Christian school student, so it would be hard for me to leave before graduation. I don't want to leave Christianity, but I hate thinking of everything Christian-oriented in the fundy way. I have never had a bad IFB experience, I just don't believe everything they believe. It's like I want to leave because of certain doctrines, but I don't want to leave because of friends and similar things. It's really hard. I personally don't consider myself IFB, but I feel like I am faking who I am in front of them. And it's hindering my desire to walk with Christ. I could NEVER tell my pastor about my opinions regarding KJVO, he would probably blister me. I just don't know what to do about it but pray.

[Soli Deo Gloria]

I grew up fundy, but now I'm in a non-fundy Gospel centered Independent Baptist (think Acts 2 lite/relaxed 9 Marks) church (they are rare, but do exist). Theology is very strong, music is good, and they don't care about what version you use so it's a toss up between them and a couple A29 churches. Because of distance we're thinking of switching to an Acts 29 church though..

[chris1000bc]

(01-05-2011 12:47 AM)Soli Deo Gloria Wrote:  I grew up fundy, but now I'm in a non-fundy Gospel centered Independent Baptist (think Acts 2 lite/relaxed 9 Marks) church (they are rare, but do exist). Theology is very strong, music is good, and they don't care about what version you use so it's a toss up between them and a couple A29 churches. Because of distance we're thinking of switching to an Acts 29 church though..

Wow, I am jealous of all of the options you have. Most churches around here are very fundy. The closest church I would be excited about going to is a sovereign grace church over an hour away.

[pastord]

I left my IFB church when I was 21 because I wanted to be around people my own age who loved Jesus, and I couldn't find any at my church. I started with the phone book. I lived in Phoenix at the time so there were plenty of very specific denominational categories. I started with calling the churches in the IFB category about college/career groups. None of them had one (or answered the phone call) so I branched out into (GASP) other kinds of baptist churches! I ended up going to a Conservative Baptist Church that had a college ministry where I met my wife, met my mentor, felt God call me into ministry, and started Bible college all within a few years. I ended up moving from Phoenix with my college group pastor to plant a church in Spokane, Washington and I am now pastoring that church.

[Darrell]

Quote: I wanted to be around people my own age who loved Jesus, and I couldn't find any at my church

I know that feeling.

[captain_solo]

Fortunately I have found a church that while it is definitely leaning fundy, it has many "redeemable" moments to quote the original post. The biggest one is the people, amazing how many genuine and transparent folks there are here who love Jesus. Its what gives me hope about the continued recession of fundy traits. There are a couple big ones that are still occupying my prayer time, but I am hanging in there. I did not grow up in the wild fringe of fundys, basically in the moderately conservative center of the movement. (think Independent and slightly to the right of the GARBC, even fellowshipping with them on occasion) Plus I was a PK, so I never really had an independent look at the movement, and my dad wasn't crazy. He might have defended the crazies right to do what they were doing on occasion but he shook his head at much of that stuff. He had this crazy idea that the Bible should determine what we do and what we believe, so when I brought crazy stuff home from camp or school or wherever and asked him about it, I got a clear interpretation of the scriptures involved (along with usually quite a few more) and he shot straight. I could ask him about anything, still do on a regular basis and we can disagree easily and conversationally. This is why I say I wasn't truly brought up as a fundy, even though I waded into it a few times, my upbringing had given me a nose for that kind of thing, as well as the wisdom to wear rubber boots.

I would leave my church in a heartbeat if I had to, there are a few things I won't tolerate, but for now I have found a group of people who sharpen me, I am growing there, there is very little craziness. I wouldn't stay in many of the churches many of you came from, and I am glad to see that you have in many cases found a new home. I live in an area with so many choices I am blessed. I can avoid crazy on one side and still attend what feels somewhat familiar.

[steve95054]

Having been raised in an IFB (HAC/Fairhaven camp) church on the East Coast, I followed my pastor's sons to a major HAC-camp Bible College on the West Coast (if you know much about those circles, you probably don't have to think very hard to figure out which college).

Immediately after that, through a series of unusual circumstances, I wound up at the OP's IFB church, as the pianist, while working a job to pay the bills (which I'm very happy with, btw [the job, not the bills LOL]).

Thankfully, because it was a volunteer position, and I was the only one willing (and able) to fill it (for most of the time I was there, anyway), I had quite a bit of leverage. Not so much in the "changing things" department, but in the "I'm not doing that" department. That and I think the pastor had bigger fish to fry (he is still, as far as I understand it, massively overworked ... he's a hard worker, but there's only so much one guy can do, yaknowwutImean?).

(BTW: to OP: my apologies if I ever treated you as a second-class citizen. It was not my intent...)

Anyway, around Spring of 2009, I realized I was going to be leaving. Because of my responsibilities, I didn't want to just not show up one day (that would have been the height of bad taste). At that point I didn't have a particular "expiration date", but I knew it was coming eventually, and sooner rather than later.

Now, I had already been attending a Bible Study put on by another church (closer to home), and so I asked the leadership there for a copy of their Constitution and Bylaws. After reviewing those, and having several cordial (and frank) discussions with them about some points of disagreement (the biggest of which was that members were required to be Dispensationalist), I came to the conclusion that that church was not going to be my new home.

So around September of 2009, I began looking into other churches in the area. Given the massive amount of doctrinal and practical disagreement I was having with the IFB movement, I knew I needed to look outside the IFB circles, and even outside Baptist circles (although I didn't exclude them at first).

So I investigated several other Protestant denominations, up to and including the Lutherans.

However, I also thought to myself, "Well, if you're burning the whole thing down and starting over, you may as well look at everyone, not just the Protestants." At the time, to me, that was code for the Roman Catholic Church.

So I attended a Vespers (Saturday night) service at our local Catholic Church (remember: I was still the pianist at the IFB church, so I couldn't go anywhere on Sundays).

To me it seemed like more of the same. The Spirit was not there in any sensible way.

At this point, I remembered reading a very positive report by an evangelical Pastor regarding his experience in an Orthodox Church. I had never heard of the Orthodox Church before, but after doing some initial Googling, I perceived that they claimed to be as ancient as the RCC. In fact, they claimed that the RCC came out of them when it went into the heresy of papism! This seemed interesting.

So I Googled "Orthodox Fairfield" (Fairfield, CA being my city of residence). I got several synagogues in Fairfield, Connecticut. Hm.

Try 2: "Orthodox Church, Fairfield, CA" Ah, much better. Looks like St. Timothy's has a Vespers service, too! I'll try that.

So I did. And I found myself returning every week. I had a TON of questions, of course; but they answered every one of them. Even the ones that I didn't immediately agree with the answer to, I had to admit that they did have an answer, and when I was being honest with myself, I knew I couldn't refute the answers they had given.

Not only that, but this was the first time in my life I had experienced worship -- the worship of the Father in Spirit and in Truth, to be precise. God was in them, of a truth! And it kept me coming back.

Towards the end of October 2009, I gave my pastor the notice that I would no longer be attending that church beginning Jan. 1, 2010, which gave him two months to find a replacement for me.

On Jan. 3, 2010, I attended my first Divine Liturgy in the Orthodox Church. (The Vespers service is a short service preparing for Sunday. The Liturgy is a much bigger service.) And again the next week.

The third week, however, I remembered that I had intended to go actually visit the Sunday AM services of the several churches I had investigated previously. So I went right up the road to a Reformed Christian Church (which at the time was closest to my theology, btw).

But it was more of the same (that I had gotten at the IFB church), and while the people were friendly, and the pastor nice, I sensed no power there. Forms, sure. Power, no.

So about 20 minutes into it, I looked down at my watch, did some quick mental calculations, and thought to myself "If I hurry, I can make it [back to St. Timothy's] in time for the Gospel reading." So I did. And I haven't looked back since.

I was entered into the Catechumenate around March 2010, and received into the Church on Dec. 24, 2010, to the glory of God.

Does the OC have a long list of rules? To be sure. (Over 2000 years, you tend to get quite a list worked up.)

But what astounds me every time I think about it is the complete lack of legalism involved. I can't even explain it in text -- you'll just have to trust me on this one.

I still have a lot to learn, but by the grace of God may I "hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto us at the revelation of Jesus Christ".

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.