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Mrs X · 05-06-2011, 11:11 PM

IMHO, this is manipulation at it's finest. Submit yourselves to them that have the rule over you is biblical. NOT fringe rules just because leaders want to lord over people. This really bothers me.

(02-07-2011 10:44 AM)Jenni Wrote:
(02-07-2011 04:11 AM)Away-From-The-Umbrella Wrote: I so wanted to be able to say when I thought something was wrong without being told it was a sin to disagree with church leadership. Our pastor said that telling ANYONE you disagreed with leadership was a sin.

This is one of the scariest things I've found in Fundyism. The MOG is put on a pedastal and can't ever possibly be wrong, and this "pastoral perfection" spreads to the rest of the pastoral staff so that you dare not disagree with any of them. Any person who thinks s/he is always, always right had better stay away from metal poles during lightning storms.

Mrs X · 05-06-2011, 11:15 PM

Smith,

I NEEDED that synopsis and thank you for taking the time to type it out. I think I've succesfully completed #4 by eye rolling and not worshiping during the same old music that I've heard for the past number of years I've been in.

(02-07-2011 08:48 AM)Smith Wrote: Like SuperNova, I was only part of the Fundamentalist Experience for about 7 years, but that 7 years was critical because it made changes in me that I never would have otherwise agreed or submitted to when clothed and in my right mind.

It took me 20+ to be free and KNOW it. I believe people go through several stages:

1. Stockholm Syndrome: You find yourself sympathizing with your captors (see Patti Hearst)
2. You notice something from your past (like, your family) and it jars your memory enough to plant the seed of "WTF am I doing?"
3. You start to rebel (in my case, it was the Rambo movies).
4. You do something bold that forces you to commit to action. (in my case, it was the classic "bullsh_t" cough during chapel...Jen and I have dicussed it.)

5. Somehow, that previous action emboldens you to drop everything and buy a plane ticket home.

6. You arrive home.

7. At first, you're happy, but lost and confused..you then "remember" to keep your testimony and all that stuff but the more you are in the world, the more disconnected you are.
8. It takes several months of feeling out of place, snarkyness, and an over-all hostility felt towards ANY churchy person before you start feeling comfortable in your own skin.
9. FINALLY, you wake up one morning...still breathing...limbs working properly and not bleeding our of every orifice to realize God doesn't hate you, has not sent out an Angel hit team after you and little by little, he starts working in your life to fulfill Phil 1.6.

Mrs X · 05-06-2011, 11:18 PM

Sometimes I get caught up in what other people are thinking of me (while at church) and I can't worship. During those times I close my eyes and sing to Jesus and then I can truly worship.

Some of the sweetest memories I have are when I am cleaning the home with the music blasting and I drop my mop and lift my hands in worship and praise.

God is awesome!

(04-08-2011 04:47 PM)notdrinkingthekoolaid Wrote: I'm not sure I've gotten to the place of total freedom, but I'm getting there!

There is a young man in our church who I LOVE to watch during worship time. He worships in wild abandon as if he's the only one there. It's never a show or fake, just an outward to expression of an inward belief. I want to be that guy one day.

**JimE** · 05-09-2011, 03:02 PM

Listening to the local rock station at volume 11 in my car with the windows down @20mph over the speed limit on some country road during a full moon with the headlights off.

notdrinkingthekoolaid · 05-09-2011, 04:40 PM

(05-06-2011 11:18 PM)Mrs X Wrote: Sometimes I get caught up in what other people are thinking of me (while at church) and I can't worship. During those times I close my eyes and sing to Jesus and then I can truly worship.

Did you know if you close your eyes, no one else can see you? It also helps to be sitting on the back row. Not that I would know or anything.. Wink

I totally get what you are saying though. Sometimes I truly DO just close my eyes in the middle of a group of people and it makes it easier to truly worship.

Mrs X · 05-09-2011, 07:14 PM

I don't want to sit on the back row cuz that's where all the backsliders sit. Big Grin

(05-09-2011 04:40 PM)notdrinkingthekoolaid Wrote:
(05-06-2011 11:18 PM)Mrs X Wrote: Sometimes I get caught up in what other people are thinking of me (while at church) and I can't worship. During those times I close my eyes and sing to Jesus and then I can truly worship.

Did you know if you close your eyes, no one else can see you? It also helps to be sitting on the back row. Not that I would know or anything..

I totally get what you are saying though. Sometimes I truly DO just close my eyes in the middle of a group of people and it makes it easier to truly worship.

notdrinkingthekoolaid · 05-09-2011, 07:58 PM

(05-09-2011 07:14 PM)Mrs X Wrote: I don't want to sit on the back row cuz that's where all the backsliders sit.

Yeah, and you're point is???? Big Grin

True backsliders wouldn't even be in the building...

Mrs X · 05-09-2011, 10:13 PM

he he he he Big Grin

I've heard that those who sit in the back are losing out and 'backsliders'. I'm still in the building so I can't be a backslider, now, can I?

(05-09-2011 07:58 PM)notdrinkingthekoolaid Wrote:
(05-09-2011 07:14 PM)Mrs X Wrote: I don't want to sit on the back row cuz that's where all the backsliders sit.

Yeah, and you're point is????

True backsliders wouldn't even be in the building...

notdrinkingthekoolaid · 05-10-2011, 04:29 PM

(05-09-2011 10:13 PM)Mrs X Wrote: he he he he

I've heard that those who sit in the back are losing out and 'backsliders'. I'm still in the building so I can't be a backslider, now, can I?

Not that it matters, but in my opinion you're good!

Once I sat up front for about 5 minutes (during communion and final worship song). It was WAY overwhelming. I think our worship pastor is awesome, but that's a little too close for comfort for me. I don't want him or any of the band being so close they could count my freckles! Big Grin

supernova8610 · 05-25-2011, 02:44 AM

(05-10-2011 04:29 PM)notdrinkingthekoolaid Wrote:
(05-09-2011 10:13 PM)Mrs X Wrote: he he he he

I've heard that those who sit in the back are losing out and 'backsliders'. I'm still in the building so I can't be a backslider, now, can I?

Not that it matters, but in my opinion you're good!

Once I sat up front for about 5 minutes (during communion and final worship song). It was WAY overwhelming. I think our worship pastor is awesome, but that's a little too close for comfort for me. I don't want him or any of the band being so close they could count my freckles!

At my exIFB church, I never sat in the front row because I liked texting on my phone... and I didn't want the pastor to be able to see me.