The Journey of The Ear

[Papa Bear]

Welcome. I have seen requests / demands that a person leaving a church not discuss the matter used all too often as a tool for covering up wrongdoing. The person leaving is usually still processing what happened, how to forgive, and what forgiveness even means in a situation like this, and is often reluctant to discuss the matter anyway, for fear of adding fuel to the fire or being / appearing unforgiving, vengeful, etc. Search the forum for threads with "forgiveness" in the title, and you'll find some different (and I think, healthier) ideas about what forgiveness means.

It was seven years after I left the worst experience of my life before I could even think about any of the people involved without feeling angry. By the time I felt safe talking about what had happened, I couldn't really explain just how bad it was to anyone who hadn't been there. Too many details had faded into the mists of memory. If I tried to discuss it, whether with people who had been there or people who hadn't, they usually suggested I should "just get over it" because "it happened so long ago."

So I wasn't supposed to discuss it while I was still angry, and if I brought it up once I'd let go of the anger, I was "just bitter". In other words, my problems were not really that bad at the time, and even years later, were never really that bad, and I should just shut up.

At various times in your journey, you may or may not need to talk about it. If you don't need to, fine, there's no pressure, but if you do this is a safe place. If someone has done you wrong, you may need to forgive him, but this does not mean you owe him anything, and if he insists he is in the right, you most certainly do not owe him silence.

[Scorpio]

Welcome aboard

[Shoes]

i'll say it again ... wicked username! nomination for USERNAME of the Year. you get my vote. your story sound like many of ours [well, mine i guess. i won't speak about others] welcome and share what you can.

[Papa Bear]

(04-12-2012 09:50 AM)Shoes Wrote:  i'll say it again ... wicked username! nomination for USERNAME of the Year. you get my vote. your story sound like many of ours [well, mine i guess. i won't speak about others] welcome and share what you can.

Yes! That username has all kinds of win. I can't think of a more appropriate username for this forum.

[Malchus' Ear]

Thank you all for your kind words and welcoming spirits. I appreciate your encouragement and in knowing how to address some things. After giving it some thought, and in that vein of helping others who may be going through the same sort of stuff, I've decided to share some parts of my story. If I ramble on too long or my writing style is a little too verbose, just let me know.

Part 1

You know it's time to leave a church when your Sunday school teacher loosely compares you to Satan.

Actually, it's probably beyond the point that you should leave, but it was the ultimate notification for my wife and I that it was time to go.

What would have brought on this kind of castigation? Did I deny the Christian faith? Did I espouse some sort of rank heresy? Did I decide to do something totally publicly shameful? No, instead, I thought that understanding some Greek might shed some light on what we were being tought.

The topic of the day was the spiritual gifts as listed in Romans and 1 Corinthians. The Sunday school teacher was explaining that some of the gifts had ceased in their functioning. When one of his friends started questioning why they abated, there was some confusion about their purpose and function. I chimed in and started explaining what some of the words meant in the original Greek, going in depth on, "miracles," and, "healing."

Then, I was swiftly interrupted. The teacher lifted up his Bible and in a louder voice proclaimed, "If you have the Word of God in the King James Version of the Bible, you have everything you need to understand what God has said." He turned back towards his friend. "And one of the things that Satan loves to do is to make you believe that unless you understand the original languages, you cannot understand the Word of God." He then continued explaining what was drawn up on the whiteboard.

My wife and I leaned in close. "Did he just compare me to the devil?" I asked.

"I think he did," she whispered back, amazed at what just took place.

Then again, this kind of act and screwy teaching didn't surprise us. The prior week's teaching was an explanation of gifts versus talents, all leading to a diatribe about clapping in church. Before then, there were tirades about music, alcohol, and dress attire. Pretty much everyone who had been in our class since its inception about two years earlier had left, and it became more of a, "friends and family," class for the teacher.

A night or two later, I ran into our pastor while doing some errands. We chatted about life in general, and then I told him that I was done with the Sunday school class. I gave him a summary of what had been taking place, and made it clear that I wasn't returning. He listened to everything and told me he would follow up. I told him that I really didn't want to even talk about it, but thought that I should bring it up for the sake of my friends who were still sitting under this kind of teaching.

But, the truth was that by this time that we were already leaving the church and had no plans on coming back.

--
The Ear

[Away-From-The-Umbrella]

(04-13-2012 12:03 AM)Malchus Ear Wrote:  Thank you all for your kind words and welcoming spirits. I appreciate your encouragement and in knowing how to address some things. After giving it some thought, and in that vein of helping others who may be going through the same sort of stuff, I've decided to share some parts of my story. If I ramble on too long or my writing style is a little too verbose, just let me know.

Part 1

You know it's time to leave a church when your Sunday school teacher loosely compares you to Satan.

Actually, it's probably beyond the point that you should leave, but it was the ultimate notification for my wife and I that it was time to go.

What would have brought on this kind of castigation? Did I deny the Christian faith? Did I espouse some sort of rank heresy? Did I decide to do something totally publicly shameful? No, instead, I thought that understanding some Greek might shed some light on what we were being tought.

The topic of the day was the spiritual gifts as listed in Romans and 1 Corinthians. The Sunday school teacher was explaining that some of the gifts had ceased in their functioning. When one of his friends started questioning why they abated, there was some confusion about their purpose and function. I chimed in and started explaining what some of the words meant in the original Greek, going in depth on, "miracles," and, "healing."

Then, I was swiftly interrupted. The teacher lifted up his Bible and in a louder voice proclaimed, "If you have the Word of God in the King James Version of the Bible, you have everything you need to understand what God has said." He turned back towards his friend. "And one of the things that Satan loves to do is to make you believe that unless you understand the original languages, you cannot understand the Word of God." He then continued explaining what was drawn up on the whiteboard.

My wife and I leaned in close. "Did he just compare me to the devil?" I asked.

"I think he did," she whispered back, amazed at what just took place.

Then again, this kind of act and screwy teaching didn't surprise us. The prior week's teaching was an explanation of gifts versus talents, all leading to a diatribe about clapping in church. Before then, there were tirades about music, alcohol, and dress attire. Pretty much everyone who had been in our class since its inception about two years earlier had left, and it became more of a, "friends and family," class for the teacher.

A night or two later, I ran into our pastor while doing some errands. We chatted about life in general, and then I told him that I was done with the Sunday school class. I gave him a summary of what had been taking place, and made it clear that I wasn't returning. He listened to everything and told me he would follow up. I told him that I really didn't want to even talk about it, but thought that I should bring it up for the sake of my friends who were still sitting under this kind of teaching.

But, the truth was that by this time that we were already leaving the church and had no plans on coming back.

--
The Ear

The Sunday School teacher's behavior was a lot like putting one's fingers in their ear and yelling "La-La-La-La-La!" He just could not stand having a different point of view presented to the class.

Can't wait to read part II.

[laurat99]

The religious leaders of the day didn't like it when Jesus challenged them with truth, either. Any researcher on any subject knows you go to the original source, subsequent sources may have (unwittingly) corrupted the original meaning or intent. You did right by leaving that Sunday School class.

[Bob M]

And ME, its good you challenged him. I think it is always a good practice to question the teacher. Every good teacher wants good students who ask real questions. And sometimes it is good not to know the answer. The answer you got is a fearful one. He was afraid that you might know more than him. It was also a proud one. He wanted to be the one with the attention and the one everyone thought knew all the answers. Enough of my judging motives.