did anyone else have this phase?

[elfdream]

When I was little my family used to travel back to where they grew up where all their cousins and family still lived. I only saw these people once a year and they were pretty much strangers to me and my parents made me hug them. Not only that but they sort of made a production of it. I didn't mind hugging my grandparents and a few cousins with whom I was close but the rest of them...why couldn't I have just gotten off with just saying 'Hi'? One year my brother just rebelled and said "I don't know you well enough to hug you but I will shake your hand!" YES! From then on out we just said...'Hi. How you doing?"

So because of all that I was never really a 'hugger'. When my children were little I told them they didn't have to hug anyone they didn't want to hug. They were grateful.

I have gotten over that a little bit but I don't think I've gotten to the point to where I 'crave' human contact. I think I could live without it just fine.

[Qrayze]

I used to never like being touched either, but my ex was a cuddler, so I got used to it. My daughter is also a cuddle-bug and she wants to hug everyone she meets. It's kind of embarassing out in public when she asks total strangers if she can hug them. When we're home alone, she'll come over and hug me about once every 15 minutes. At school, they taught her to hug herself instead of hugging the other kids. (which kind of makes me a bit sad, but she does need to learn to respect other people's wishes of not wanting to be touched)

[Elijah Craig]

Neither side of my family was given to physical displays of affection. I hug my 85 year old grandma and my young nieces and that's about it. Maybe my dad when he's leaving for Florida for the winter.

I'll cuddle with a girlfriend in private but I don't do PDA at all. It often causes stress in relationships.

[beth]

(03-15-2012 07:36 AM)elfdream Wrote:  When I was little my family used to travel back to where they grew up where all their cousins and family still lived. I only saw these people once a year and they were pretty much strangers to me and my parents made me hug them. Not only that but they sort of made a production of it. I didn't mind hugging my grandparents and a few cousins with whom I was close but the rest of them...why couldn't I have just gotten off with just saying 'Hi'? One year my brother just rebelled and said "I don't know you well enough to hug you but I will shake your hand!" YES! From then on out we just said...'Hi. How you doing?"

So because of all that I was never really a 'hugger'. When my children were little I told them they didn't have to hug anyone they didn't want to hug. They were grateful.

I have gotten over that a little bit but I don't think I've gotten to the point to where I 'crave' human contact. I think I could live without it just fine.

My friend tries to force her child to give me "kisses" when I leave her house. He's 2. I don't care for it, because he's always got a snotty nose, and I don't like kissing on the mouth (unless it's my husband). He doesn't care for it, either. Fortunately, he generally hesitates, so I'm like "It's ok. He doesn't have to." And I'm off the hook. I just don't think it's respectful of the child's personality and boundaries to force them to hug or kiss when they don't want to.

[Tiarali]

My sister in law makes her kids kiss family who visit. It makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather see occasional affection than assume its always robotic manners, anyway.

My mother in law would always kiss me, and I hated it. Haha she hates me now

[Bill]

I think it's a natural reaction to crave what you're deprived of, especially when (1) it's a normal human craving and (2) it's vilified and labeled as a taboo.

Case in point, I grew up with a mother who was a vitamin-chugging health-nut (and I say this as a pretty darn health-conscious guy). Sugar was simply not allowed in our house. Period. As soon as I started having my own money as a teenager, I went overboard, with a good chunk of it going to candy and cookies that I snuck past the parental units. I balanced out over time. I still occasionally struggle to keep it balanced, a couple decades later.

The same is often true of people leaving extremely conservative sub-cultures (Fundys, Amish, Orthodox groups, etc) in the terms of physical affection and sexuality. Many people go buck-wild for a bit, then find their balance.

I think craving a hug is a pretty normal reaction, especially considering how many you most likely needed during your upbringing and indoctrination, compared with how many you most likely received.

[SomethingFundy]

i get hugs and hand holding on thursday wooot

[WifeofBill]

I'm not touchy feely and don't like to hug unless there is good reason to. The only person that I don't mind touching me is Bill, and even then I have my limits

[HazelEyed]

I crave physical touch--and not in a sexual way. I mean, obviously I appreciate that too, but I just need to be in physical contact with other humans. Until I got married, I was STARVED for it (my family is very non-touchy, we don't hug much even with parents and siblings and such), but I didn't realize that until I actually had regular "cuddle time" with another person. I sleep a million times better at night because I have someone to snuggle with.

I think some people just have a need for it.

[SomethingFundy]

I held hands for the first time ever and it was nice