Jessie Ruhl, Pleasant Valley Baptist Church, charged w/ misdemeanor child molestation

[Elijah Craig]

(03-14-2012 04:05 PM)GraceThruFaith Wrote:  She was definitely hot enough to keep his attention

Obviously not because he hired a prostitute.

So back to Senda's question-- do you find sleeping with 14 year olds more understandable if a man's wife is fat and ugly than if a man's wife is smokin' hot?

[WifeofBill]

GraceThruFaith you are part of the problem! You are equating the rape/molestation of a child to an affair. They are NOT the same!

[GraceThruFaith]

(03-15-2012 04:57 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote:  

(03-14-2012 04:05 PM)GraceThruFaith Wrote:  She was definitely hot enough to keep his attention

Obviously not because he hired a prostitute.

So back to Senda's question-- do you find sleeping with 14 year olds more understandable if a man's wife is fat and ugly than if a man's wife is smokin' hot?

More understandable if she were fat and ugly? No
Less understandable if she were smokin' hot? Yes

(03-15-2012 09:34 PM)WifeofBill Wrote:  GraceThruFaith you are part of the problem! You are equating the rape/molestation of a child to an affair. They are NOT the same!

I would be part of the problem if I put the blame on the wife, but I am not. Jessie receives all 100% of the blame. All affairs are immoral. You tell me: why does society place a larger stigma on a man who has a hot wife yet cheats on her than a man who cheats on a average looking wife? Society surely does this, so do not say it doesn't.

[Tiarali]

Society often likes to blame the victim, it's easier than dealing with serious issues. Society is often wrong. Doesn't mean you can get away with it.

And again, we're not discussing an affair, we're discussing the abuse of a minor.

[beensetfree]

I think what we are actually discussing is SIN. We grade it according to what we think the temporal punishment is that the person deserves. GraceThruFaith did say

Quote:Oh well, I hope that Jesse receives justice for his heinous actions.

Obviously, an affair is SIN. And so is sexual abuse of a minor. An affair between consenting adults is appalling. A person's sinful pedophile urges done to a minor child is more abominable in some very tangible sense. But both instances are about sinful people fulfilling sinful desires.

And yes, socially people do tend to be less sympathetic of the victim of an affair if she is homely. And tend to label the man as an idiot of she is attractive. Which was a side point GraceThruFaith made in the original post.

The point I want to make is both of these instances are still egregious sins. And even if temporal "justice" is meted out, I still only know of one eternal solution for dealing with sinners on this side of eternity, it's called the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And for that matter Jesus is a glorious healing balm for the abused. And as Christians we should use both earthly authorities and spiritual Truth and compassion when dealing with abuse.

And the ones who escape temporal punishment whether for an affair or worse or even "lesser" sins, as if in any sense they aren't all damning. And whoever remains under the condemnation of their sin will be left dealing with a Holy, Righteous and perfectly just God for eternity.

[Elijah Craig]

There is no verse in the Bible that says or implies all sins are equally bad. There are verses in the Bible that describe some sins as greater than others. The idea that evey sin is just as bad as any other is a crock.

The problem most of us had with GTF's statement is that it's a complete misunderstanding of human sexuality. Men and women aren't presented with an either/or option when it comes to sex. They can have sex with several people. When they're young they can (and some do) have sex with a few people in a single day. There is no woman or man on earth who is so attractive their spouse or significant other won't ever feel attracted to another person. That's just not how it works. It's normal to feel a physical attraction to anyone who is attractive.

There are cultures where it's normal for a 30 year old man to marry a 14 or 16 year old. There are states in the United States where it's legal for girls to marry as young as 12. The key word there is MARRY. The woman gets something out of the arrangement-- she must be provided for and protected. A 30 year old youth pastor sleeping with a 14 or 16 year old is predatory. He's taking but not giving anything. He's destroying the trust of a young person. That's why it's so reprehensible. The only thing common between that and two thirty year olds having sex outside of marriage is the actual act of sex.

There are a lot of sexual acts that are socially looked down on in our culture. It's not mere fluke, it's for a reason. Presidents sleeping with 20 year old interns is taboo because it's predatory. Sober guys having sex with random very drunk girls is predatory. Pastors having sex with women who are in his office for counseling is predatory. Prostitution and strip clubs are predatory. School teachers having sex with students is predatory.

Healthy human beings don't take advantage of the weak and vulnerable. Most people don't cheat on their spouses, not because they don't find anyone else attractive, but because they love their spouse, or because they love their family, or they fear the consequences, or they have a moral code. Cheating has very little to do with how attractive a person's spouse is. If you think it does and it surprises you then there's something pretty profound about people and about life that is not grasped.

If a man is having sex with a 14 year old, so many other things are broken there that the attractiveness of his spouse shouldn't be anywhere close to the first thought someone has.

[Bill]

(03-16-2012 04:53 PM)GraceThruFaith Wrote:  I would be part of the problem if I put the blame on the wife, but I am not. Jessie receives all 100% of the blame. All affairs are immoral. You tell me: why does society place a larger stigma on a man who has a hot wife yet cheats on her than a man who cheats on a average looking wife? Society surely does this, so do not say it doesn't.

I'm not sure if you are intentionally trying to mirror your avatar with your posting style, or if you are so relationally and morally handicapped that you suffer from rectal-cranial inversion as a side effect.

The title of this thread states Ruhl is charged with child molestation. You repeatedly refer to this as cheating on his wife, or as an affair. Is the issue for you that he is married? Is child molestation ok to you if both parties are single?

Just because his predatory behavior manifests through sexual means does not mean it is sexually based, as an affair or marital infidelity are. It is a predatory behavior on a younger, vulnerable person...on somebody's child.

If you cannot grasp the distinction, please visit the urologist for a vasectomy. You should not father a child if you cannot grasp the difference between the violent, predatory victimization of a child and someone 'just fooling around'. If that is the case then I would suggest that your gene pool needs chlorine.

Your preoccupation with the sexual aspect and objectification of hot wife=sexual fulfillment leads me to postulate that you may not be married in the first place, and are most likely a virgin. I don't state that derisively; it just seems you have NO idea of what you speak (so authoritatively).

[JoeR]

Well spoken, Mr. HusbandOfWifeOfBill.

[Qrayze]

(03-13-2012 07:08 PM)GraceThruFaith Wrote:  

(03-13-2012 03:59 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote:  Yeah, he seems to have a very profound misunderstanding of how human beings actually operate.

It doesn't matter how attractive one's spouse is. The sex drive will always want to mate with someone else. There are a few things that hold a person back-- fear of punishment, moral character, love and concern for one's family.

It's the same basic error that certain of the marriage mandate people use-- that getting married will automatically solve all purity issues. Yes, people want an outlet for their sex drive and a healthy person will be happy with one. An unhealthy person will not be "fixed" by getting married, no matter how attractive the spouse is. I've known preachers with attractive wives to have porn addictions. Her not putting out wasn't the problem. It's that when the human sex drive gets corrupted it always wants something more, something different.

AND, even a single 30 year old man should know better than to send obscene texts to a 14 year old. You can't even use the "moment of weakness" argument there. The guy had issues.

If you don't understand that you don't understand something that's very fundamental about human nature.

And like Tiarali said, if a dude is turned on by an under-developed female body then an adult woman is just SOL. Personally, I find women aged 25-35 to be a lot more attractive. Even granting that there are very pretty 14 year olds... dude... if you chase that there's something wrong with you.

I agree with all of this. Therefore, I can't have a misunderstanding.

it's 'cause a man said it, right?

(03-14-2012 02:27 PM)GraceThruFaith Wrote:  

Quote:Similarly, when we are discussing a man who has committed a sexual offence, his wife's desirability is completely irrelevant to the situation. She had nothing to do with the crime, so leave her out of it.

tiarali, I understand that this type of situation hits home with you, but I disagree with this. There is relevance, whether a lot or a little, but it's there. We are leaving the wife out of it by questioning her husband and why he would cheat on her. It's the husband's fault, not the wife.

I watched Funny People that other day. Leslie Mann's character says to Adam Sandler's character, "How could you cheat on me? I was so hot?" Adam said, "I don't even know what the fuck I was doing. I was just a stupid idiot." And this type of conversation is said by third party bystanders all the time when a spouse cheats on their better half: they're an idiot.

Physical attraction plays a big role in sex. That's why guys swoon over the hot girls: because they want to sleep with them because of their beauty. And that's why society condemns a person when they cheat on their attractive partner. Why are they looking for sex when they can have sex with their partner, especially their attractive partner. The cheater is at fault, not the cheated. The cheated did nothing wrong. Yes, being attractive does not automatically make you better at intercourse, but it makes people (ie your spouse) want to have intercourse with you. And that's why I don't get why Jessie Ruhl would cheat on his wife: because she's attractive and he went to a teen for a desire that his wife would better satisfy. He's an idiot, and I feel so sad for Mrs. Ruhl. She deserves better. Let me repeat: Mrs Ruhl did nothing wrong, it's not her fault, and she deserves better than an idiot.

wow, you're ignorant. you're a freshman at fundy u, aren't you?

[Away-From-The-Umbrella]

I wonder where Jesse Ruhl is hiding out...with whom is he hiding out...

Is he really hoping to evade the arrest warrant?

Would anyone but an IFBx church (who would recognize his father) hire him?