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**exOBCstudent** · 03-13-2012, 08:54 AM

(03-13-2012 08:51 AM)Elijah Craig Wrote: There are always these stories coming out about high school teachers having affairs with teenage boys. Sometimes the teachers are very good looking (where were they when I was in high school)? Does a smokin' hot 24 year old female school teacher sleep with a 14 year old boy because nobody else will have her?

Often churches will have a single young man as their youth pastor, which can be pretty stupid. A single 22 year old guy straight out of Bible college is vulnerable to aggressive 16-17 year old girls. And that may be the only case where it's explainable by simple sexual attraction.

Lol that's what I was thinking too! I guess I've never really studied the sexual predator dymanic in play here. I know a little about terrorists though. Rolleyes

**Tiarali** · 03-13-2012, 08:56 AM

Even if so, the reality is the adult has a legal responsibility to keep things appropriate. If they want a legitimate relationship, they need to wait till the younger person is 18 before they even start anything. If an adult is faced with temptation, surely they would have some way of getting help, even if it means leaving that position or moving churches (before anything happens, not to hide their sin).

If an adult isn't able to withstand such temptation, they shouldn't be working in an authoritative position in the church.

I think it's fairly normal for a kid to have a crush on a teacher or other authority figure. That doesn't give permission for the adult to break their trust.

Elijah Craig · (This post was last modified: 03-13-2012 09:19 AM by Elijah Craig.)

All I was really saying it's more undestandable when a 21 year old youth pastor sleeps with a 17 year old girl. THAT can be explained by simple sexual attraction. If you have a 20-22 year old youth pastor with access to 16-17 year old girls, you're lucky if they don't have sex. So not hiring 21 year old youth pastors is a pretty basic safeguard for a church to have.

But churches act like hiring a youth pastor who is married and at least 24-25 is the only safeguard they have to take. That doesn't protect against child predators because normal sex drives aren't at work there.

GraceThruFaith · (This post was last modified: 03-13-2012 01:30 PM by GraceThruFaith.)

(03-13-2012 08:38 AM)tiarali Wrote: For starters there was the general IFB assumption that a man's wife is at fault. If he's gone looking elsewhere, then she's obviously not satisfying him. That is disgusting and offensive on so many levels.

Secondly, sexual assault has nothing to do with attraction and sex really, it's about exercising power over somebody who is weaker than you.

And thirdly, if the man is attracted to the underdeveloped body, then there's nothing the wife could have done to keep his interest.

And, there's probably a lot more that I'm missing. Those were my first thoughts.

If you found my original comment offensive, fine, that's your prerogative, but I stand by what I said. But to imply that I think that the Jessie's wife is at fault is unwarranted. She isn't. My mindset is that I just do not understand how men can cheat on their beautiful wives, and I provided examples in my post (Tony Parker cheated on freakin' Eva Longoria, and Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller with their nanny). Are Eva and Sienna at fault, hell to the no! Tony and Jude are.

WanderingTraveler · 03-13-2012, 01:30 PM

I really don't know what to say to what I have read in this thread so far. I am speechless.

**senda wales** · 03-13-2012, 03:51 PM

Oh shit dude. I've met Tim Ruhl.

It's not about attraction. It's a problem with their heart.

Elijah Craig · (This post was last modified: 03-13-2012 04:06 PM by Elijah Craig.)

Yeah, he seems to have a very profound misunderstanding of how human beings actually operate.

It doesn't matter how attractive one's spouse is. The sex drive will always want to mate with someone else. There are a few things that hold a person back-- fear of punishment, moral character, love and concern for one's family.

It's the same basic error that certain of the marriage mandate people use-- that getting married will automatically solve all purity issues. Yes, people want an outlet for their sex drive and a healthy person will be happy with one. An unhealthy person will not be "fixed" by getting married, no matter how attractive the spouse is. I've known preachers with attractive wives to have porn addictions. Her not putting out wasn't the problem. It's that when the human sex drive gets corrupted it always wants something more, something different.

AND, even a single 30 year old man should know better than to send obscene texts to a 14 year old. You can't even use the "moment of weakness" argument there. The guy had issues.

If you don't understand that you don't understand something that's very fundamental about human nature.

And like Tiarali said, if a dude is turned on by an under-developed female body then an adult woman is just SOL. Personally, I find women aged 25-35 to be a lot more attractive. Even granting that there are very pretty 14 year olds... dude... if you chase that there's something wrong with you.

GraceThruFaith · (This post was last modified: 03-13-2012 07:13 PM by GraceThruFaith.)

(03-13-2012 03:59 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote: Yeah, he seems to have a very profound misunderstanding of how human beings actually operate.

It doesn't matter how attractive one's spouse is. The sex drive will always want to mate with someone else. There are a few things that hold a person back-- fear of punishment, moral character, love and concern for one's family.

It's the same basic error that certain of the marriage mandate people use-- that getting married will automatically solve all purity issues. Yes, people want an outlet for their sex drive and a healthy person will be happy with one. An unhealthy person will not be "fixed" by getting married, no matter how attractive the spouse is. I've known preachers with attractive wives to have porn addictions. Her not putting out wasn't the problem. It's that when the human sex drive gets corrupted it always wants something more, something different.

AND, even a single 30 year old man should know better than to send obscene texts to a 14 year old. You can't even use the "moment of weakness" argument there. The guy had issues.

If you don't understand that you don't understand something that's very fundamental about human nature.

And like Tiarali said, if a dude is turned on by an under-developed female body then an adult woman is just SOL. Personally, I find women aged 25-35 to be a lot more attractive. Even granting that there are very pretty 14 year olds... dude... if you chase that there's something wrong with you.

I agree with all of this. Therefore, I can't have a misunderstanding.

Elijah Craig · (This post was last modified: 03-13-2012 07:18 PM by Elijah Craig.)

Well then, please forgive me for reading into your statement.

What connection does having a hot wife have to do with being surprised he slept with a teenager?

**senda wales** · 03-13-2012, 07:26 PM

Would it make more sense if his wife were not beautiful?