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Jenn · 02-24-2012, 02:12 PM

I took the Dale Carnegie Course when I was 17. It's a fun class (a secular course) that teaches confidence, public speaking, and stronger social skills for success. In one of the main books by Dale Carnegie he made the point that you should "seek first to understand before seeking to be understood."

So instead of dominating a conversation, listen to the other person. Be genuinely interested in the other person.

I remember thinking this was a new concept to me. That I liked it. But that it went against everything I learned in Chick tracts about dominating a conversation in order to win souls. Interestingly, the idea of listening to another person went against my conscience.

Also the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff was one I read in the 90's. I made biblical notes all through it. If I agreed with something, I added a Bible verse to confirm it was true. One chapter is Choose Being Kind Over Being Right. A hard concept for me to swallow at the time, even though it sounded like a tremendous stress reliever.

What I learned from Jack T. Chick and others at the time was that as a Christian, no one knows more than you. You have nothing to learn from anyone who is unsaved. As the Psalmist says, "I am wiser than all my teachers." Shoot everyone down and show them why they are WRONG.

Thank God, after many unhappy years I am finally free from that.

captain_solo · 02-24-2012, 03:01 PM

It should be clear to everyone that you are wrong, you are simply giving in to the culture of the day with your weak stance on the truth, I bet you even think Catholics might be saved.

**pastor's wife** · 02-24-2012, 03:03 PM

So many fundies have no concept of humility. The way they run roughshod over other people attempting to prove how right they are is ironically detrimental to their cause. They don't realize it because they can always cry "persecution" when people react badly to their rudeness.

It's so sad that they love the KJV so much. "Charity doth not behave itself unseemly" actually means that if you have love (which we must have or our lives are meaningless), we will not be rude.

If they studied Jesus more than sitting in church listening to preachers rant on about CCM and movie theaters or women wearing pants, they would start to see that Jesus was gentle and compassionate with seekers and sinners. His harshest words were for the proud and arrogant, the smug and self-satisfied.

The spirit of God is gentle. It's sad that I saw so little of that in churches that purport to be more biblical than anyone else.

04-09-2012, 06:36 PM

(02-24-2012 02:12 PM)Jenn Wrote: I took the Dale Carnegie Course when I was 17. It's a fun class (a secular course) that teaches confidence, public speaking, and stronger social skills for success. In one of the main books by Dale Carnegie he made the point that you should "seek first to understand before seeking to be understood."

So instead of dominating a conversation, listen to the other person. Be genuinely interested in the other person.

I remember thinking this was a new concept to me. That I liked it. But that it went against everything I learned in Chick tracts about dominating a conversation in order to win souls. Interestingly, the idea of listening to another person went against my conscience.

Also the book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff was one I read in the 90's. I made biblical notes all through it. If I agreed with something, I added a Bible verse to confirm it was true. One chapter is Choose Being Kind Over Being Right. A hard concept for me to swallow at the time, even though it sounded like a tremendous stress reliever.

What I learned from Jack T. Chick and others at the time was that as a Christian, no one knows more than you. You have nothing to learn from anyone who is unsaved. As the Psalmist says, "I am wiser than all my teachers." Shoot everyone down and show them why they are WRONG.

Thank God, after many unhappy years I am finally free from that.

Ain't it good to be free?

I remember reading some of those fundy booklets and listening to the parade of special speakers and missionaries go through our church and how arrogant and lacking in love and humility and kindness and gentleness thy were. I started being like that. And I wondered why my family stopped inviting me to family events.

**Tiarali** · (This post was last modified: 04-09-2012 07:20 PM by Tiarali.)

I went to my old fundy church's website recently. They really think they're the 'good' fundies, their standards aren't as strict as anybody else's.

Anyway, on the counselling page it said something about how all we need for all of life's problems is the bible, and that their 'trained' counsellors give biblical counselling. Makes as much sense as claiming that all I need to learn how to program java is the bible.

But yeah. The arrogance is evident.

I really, really wish there were laws in this state to regulate unregistered counsellors.

**boymom** · 04-09-2012, 07:21 PM

And Chick tracts also tell you that the 'unbeliever' will ALWAYS ask the 'right' next question so you can continue lecturing them. And then they will sit there in rapture and be automatically swayed by your overwhelming knowledge of Bible verses.

04-09-2012, 07:28 PM

(04-09-2012 07:21 PM)boymom Wrote: And Chick tracts also tell you that the 'unbeliever' will ALWAYS ask the 'right' next question so you can continue lecturing them. And then they will sit there in rapture and be automatically swayed by your overwhelming knowledge of Bible verses.

Oh, and that works...... *sarcasm off*

lucrezaborgia · 04-10-2012, 12:00 AM

So that's why some people I used to know were always trying to argue god to death with me?

**Tiarali** · 04-10-2012, 06:37 AM

Probably. Have you seen any chick tracts? They're the stuff of nightmares. You can read them for free on the website.

**exOBCstudent** · 04-10-2012, 06:44 AM

The Dale Carnegie course was really good! My dad took that course also in the 90s. I've browsed some of his books as well and there are some really good lessons to be learned in there.

I can't believe that I was one of those folks who used to blabber all those verses out when folks would try to have intelligent conversations with me on non-fundy subjects. Undecided

It was all I knew and I learned from the best of the fundies out there. Now I look back and just shake my head in shame. If only I could do things over again.