Divorce and Remarriage

[redbeardiam]

(05-03-2012 04:20 PM)Guilt Ridden Wrote:  If I were a women with an abusive husband, I'd leave him and try to get him help, or arrested, depending upon the abuse. I would not divorce him. A married woman hopefully has a father, or brothers, or a pastor who can be a help.

The instructions you're trying to apply directly to 21st century culture were a lot more sensible in a culture where a woman without a husband or father was essentially destitute.

You would do great harm by counseling a victim of domestic violence (remember, it typically doesn't happen just once) to stay married to her abuser.

[Ricardo]

The bible does say that unfaithful women should be stoned to death. Jesus had something to say about that. Actually, Jesus had a LOT to say about people who tried to live exclusively by following rules.

Again, I simply do not see anything in the bible that says you can be forgiven for any mistake you make EXCEPT if you screw up on your choice of spouse. The "'till death us do part" was supposed to be a protection clause for women, who were kicked on the street penniless by husbands. It is ironic to now use that same clause to condemn women to a bad/dangerous/miserable life.

Is that all that god is for you? The keeper of the rules? If I would not wish a bad marriage on my son, why would God want to see his children suffer for the rest of their lives? How is it possible that I have more love, more compassion than God?

Even when there are no obvious sins or criminal behavior. Some marriages are mistakes. People who are otherwise perfectly normal, good people, who simply should not ever had married each other. I'm not talking the two week Kardashian jokes of a marriage. I'm talking about people who were on the rebound from some traumatic episode, who married in the spur of the moment, or people who married too young, marriages where as people matured, they grew in different directions. I'm talking about people who made an honest effort at making the marriage work, but after a reasonable amount of time and effort, and with a good complement of counselors, have concluded that the marriage will not work.

It is not healthy to have to find outrageous reasons to "annul" marriages, as happens in the Catholic church.

[Natalie]

I think unless you've been a victim of domestic violence, you can't really advise on how someone should handle those situations.

[Bob M]

(05-03-2012 08:25 PM)Natalie Wrote:  I think unless you've been a victim of domestic violence, you can't really advise on how someone should handle those situations.

I agree. Its one thing to stand around after church pontificating, or meet in some mannagawd after church meeting to decide if someone has the right to divorce.

Its another thing for a wife and/or mother to be slapped, beaten, verbally abused, belittled, humiliated, or neglected and be expected to stay with a man who has no intention of changing and is not one bit sorry.
I do not mean to say that if he is "sorry" that she should stay. I am merely comparing the two points of view.