Fundy U: BJU edition

[richao]

What a trip down memory lane. I came to Bob Jones from an IFB church that was skeptical of BJ for two reasons: It was too tolerant of non-baptist churches, and it had ridiculous inter-racial dating policies. (This is the truth: We lived overseas - my dad was in the military - and our church was a ministry to the US military. There's really no way to have such a ministry, particularly in Asia, if you hold to reactionary racial views, so I had the experience of going to a church that was crazy conservative on every political and theological issue except race.) Although the former issue didn't cause me too much discomfort, the latter did, but, to my shame, I ignored it and stayed for the full four years.

In many ways, they were liberating years. I was exposed to a lot of culture that my church thought was pointless at best and worldly at worst and still retain a passionate love for the fine arts. I had a lot of great friends. On the other hand, by my senior year, I was feeling a bit stifled and was ready to get out. I never had any run-ins with the administration. Well, actually, that's not quite right: There were two, both rather amusing. By some fluke, I was elected chaplain of my society for the fall semester of my junior year (the other candidate was a maniacal, hate-filled preacher boy who was too much for my more laid-back society). I was already starting to read more widely - a huge fan of Kierkegaard at the time, which caused Dr. Horton (whom I love) no end of worry - and made occasional references to God's ability to work even through those we (rightly) saw as in error (the Bakkers were in the midst of their big scandal at the time); I also occasionally used (though not for my main text) the NASB in my challenges. I was, of course, reported and reprimanded, though not removed from office. I was not, however, reelected.

The second was more nerve-racking: I had decided it was time for me to explore a broader range of political views, and, in a desire to get an idea of what the other side was thinking, I subscribed to the Village Voice. I received several issues, went away for Christmas break, and came back to find a note in my mailbox instructing me to make an appointment to see Dean Miller. I was a good kid, scared to death of breaking the rules (particularly as I had decided I wanted to go to law school and didn't want to have to explain why I'd gotten expelled from a non-accredited school with only a semester remaining before I graduated). I sat down in his office, and he pulled out from his desk drawer a copy of the Village Voice (violation of federal law, I think, for them not to deliver my mail to me, but whatever), which happened to have as its cover story something about orgies in New York. Was I ever mortified. I think I had already cancelled the subscription before leaving for the holidays and told him so, and that was the end of that.

My main regrets about my time there? There are three, I think. First, I still smart, twenty years later, at never having been asked out on a girl's society dating outing even once during the entire four years. Now, I'm glad I didn't marry a girl from BJ, as I almost certainly would have either disappointed her or forced myself to stay in fundamentalism, much to the detriment of my mental health. (Well, that's not entirely true: There was one girl, but she married somebody else. Who turned out to be gay. Yep, that about describes where I stood with the girls...) And I did have plenty of dates. But still. Can I at least get a plaque?

Second, the whole racism thing has haunted me ever since. I attended one of the nation's best law schools, in part to attempt to push BJ as far off the resume as possible, but it still haunts me. I am interracially married, but it still haunts me. I have been blessed in my career thus far, but my association with the school and its policy still comes up, two decades later.

Third, the feeling that I missed out academically, though this is something that really involves my entire childhood, include 12 years in ACE schools. I'm thankful to have the thorough grounding in scripture that I have, but I still resent the idiocy that thought that the entire canon of western thought was something that should be viewed with suspicion (at my high school) and the lack of any kind of guidance for a kid coming from that background at BJ. Many, many times I've wished I could have a do-over, attending instead a school like St. John's or University of Chicago where you can focus on the great books. I feel like I've been playing catch-up ever since.

After graduating, I went overseas again, joined an international, non-denominational church that I eventually tired of, as it was, in its own way, as emotionally manipulative as IFBism. Long story short, am now a traditionalist Anglican who struggles with his faith. Theology is of some interest, but I'm not willing to fight about anything outside the creeds, the prayer book, and the Eucharist (though don't you dare try to introduce CCM into my service - in that sense, I'm still a BoJo at heart (actually, I do listen to it occasionally, but I don't like it in church and, even out of it, once you've heard Bach's cantatas, I just don't get how you can find CCM satisfying)).