ugggh! why!

[SomethingFundy]

I was at the non fundy young adult group and I got so scared and nervous I almost threw up. These are real people and I shouldn't be afraid of being hurt by people I knew in the past but I just got so uncomfortable and had to leave.

I didn't have any triggers but I'm just quiet and I think.. how can I fit in with these people after everything.

[Ricardo]

It happens in the best of families.

It is a major symptom of PTSD. Which, of course we all swear we don't have...

[myotch]

I'm pretty sure I have PTSD.

Something, I think there's some disquieting feeling when around people with whom you've acted a certain way, shared certain beliefs with, and, maybe unconsciously, adhered to a kind of pecking order....and to realize you aren't a part of any of that anymore. How to act, what to say around people who used to trigger and expect a certain something from you, and to know they shouldn't or don't trigger you or influence you...

Realize that you have changed, and maybe they haven't.

I remember my 20th reunion from FundyPrep. I got sick before. I didn't want to go. I wasn't their toady anymore. I was going to hate them for their fantastic lives they lived. I showed up, and had one of the best times I had in a long time, and realized that as screwed up as my life was, some people had a tougher time at life than me.

I guess if you want to take anything from this....give it some time. Find your direction, and those people from your old life won't influence you to the bad anymore.

New concept: "get saved" from the old experience of "being saved".

[SomethingFundy]

We all went to the old non denom church together and went separate ways and here I am 4 years after the fact and it's like uhmm, yeah hi. I know the pastor and he understands what I am going through so it's a start.
This is one of the moments where I guess I need to seek counseling because even though my commission is out the door, I can't live this way.

[laurat99]

Separating from the only (Fundy) life you've known and going into the unknown is very scary. It's normal to be nervous and feel anxious. Try to ease in the water a little at a time.

[Phatchick]

Sending zen hugs and goodthoughts. Hard, I know; but it will get better. I promise.

[Tonx]

It's called Post Cult Trauma Syndrome. Very close to PTSD.

[Elijah Craig]

Sounds like normal anxiety to me.

PCC sucked but it was not traumatic stress.

[JoeR]

(02-06-2012 12:06 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote:  Sounds like normal anxiety to me.

PCC sucked but it was not traumatic stress.

What you said resembles my BJU experience, but on the other hand, I think some people have had much more traumatic experiences in Fundyland.

[Elijah Craig]

(02-06-2012 12:30 PM)JoeR Wrote:  

(02-06-2012 12:06 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote:  Sounds like normal anxiety to me.

PCC sucked but it was not traumatic stress.

What you said resembles my BJU experience, but on the other hand, I think some people have had much more traumatic experiences in Fundyland.

Sure. But the PTSD references bother me.

Heard a story about a guy who said "that's f***in' stupid" in a conversation at work and got called into HR for creating a hostile work environment. He said, "I just got back from two tours in Afghanistan, Army Rangers. That's a hostile work environment." Got up and left the room. Using the fbomb and directing it at a woman was inappropriate and he owes her an apology. But he got by with walking out of an HR disciplinary meeting because nobody could come up with anything to say against his view.

I don't mean to diminish the pain anyone has gone through, it's real. But some bad memories don't constitute PTSD and I think it's a little disrespectful to those who actually have it. People suffer real and substantial psychological wounds as a result of being in Fundy churches. But PTSD isn't generally one of them. The homeless Vietnam vet you see sleeping under a park bench-- that guy probably really does have PTSD.