Personality Disorders

[Fred]

(02-02-2012 11:04 AM)zeusTHEgoose Wrote:  I thought a lot about this myself.

In my case, I grew up in a single mom home and I really looked up to other men in my life, like uncles and especially pastors. I wonder if they knew that about me and tried to use it to get me to get into the pastorship. I do remember my ex-pastor telling my mother she needed to restore "order" in the house. Under the circumstances and the fact that none of her kids are mindless drug addicts or child factories, I think she did a pretty decent job.

Seriously though, lotsa IFB pastors are full of themselves and surround themselves with yes men disguised as deacons.

I was one of those deacons! I thought it was my job to back up the pastor on all fronts. I was a hand picked stooge. 10 yrs there and I never saw dicussion of an nay vote, always unanimous....

[Elijah Craig]

Might want to look up the definition of "personality disorder"...

But yeah, a wise man told me that a person's psychology determines their theology more than theology defines a person's psychology. He arrived at that conclusion after about 40 years of pastoring and counseling. What he means is he started out believing that if one just preached truth, the people's psychology would straighten itself out. Instead what happens is they pick and chose what to believe based on whatever is going on inside their mind.

[Fred]

"Personality disorders are long-term patterns of thoughts and behaviors that cause serious problems with relationships and work. People with personality disorders have difficulty dealing with everyday stresses and problems. They often have stormy relationships with other people. The exact cause of personality disorders is unknown. However, genes and childhood experiences may play a role."
One of many definitions that are similar. That was my point. Having some "disorder" may make someone more vulnerable to these control freaks. Some good advice here has helped me see that it can happen to almost anyone.
"Instead what happens is they pick and chose what to believe based on whatever is going on inside their mind."
That is kinda like, "He who is convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." Buyers remorse perhaps.

[bean]

not sure how this plays into the question..but I have OCD. Have had it since childhood, diagnosed at 37. Two years of medicine and a couple self help books later, we're good. i am told it's always there, lurking, waiting for a room to claim in me. Right now there are no rooms available! I liken it to remission of cancer. It's been whooped into submission, but could come back with a vengeance at any time. I have had 4 great years now.


Did it contribute to me finding peace in authority based religion. I think so, for a while. There was great comfort in seeing right/wrong/black/white. For a while. Until the stress levels made me sick...

Did it make my OCD worse? I think it did. I honestly do.

[elfdream]

I was born into it. Didn't know anything else except that everyone else was wrong.

However when my husband joined the Army it was a wonderful eye opener. We pretty much were out of fundyism by the time he got out. We were in our early twenties.

However there is a strain of something that is slightly off in my family. My paternal grandfather was an alcoholic and I 'think' my mother had that same problem but that she substituted religion in place of alcohol or drugs. She had the paranoia and personality issues that went along with being the child of an alcoholic. I 'think' religion was her drug.

My oldest brother is OCD about germs but at the same time is a hoarder. I know..very conflicting. I suffer a bit from scrupulosity which is something the fundy mentality just loves to feed off of but I've gotten a LOT better. I also tend to get over intensely obsessed with things for a short period of time...it could be a TV show or a sports team of this forum! My son shares that...he will really get into something and within two months will move onto something else. We just can't seem to 'focus'. I don't know if its adult AD or what it is.

But the thing is we got out of fundyism. Even with all my problems I still could see something was wrong. It wasn't just the rules but the spiritual dryness. I had to get out.

[bean]

same thing. I jump into stuff "whole hog." Immersion. Things hold my interest for awhile, then I move on.

And I get one thing in my head and think it's funny for days! It's called perseveration. Apparently. It does drive my DW nuts at times. I told her I thought we were SUPPOSED to persevere. Oh wait, that's different.

[crystalvca]

(02-09-2012 08:43 AM)elfdream Wrote:  I also tend to get over intensely obsessed with things for a short period of time...it could be a TV show or a sports team of this forum!

This! For me it is usually a few days to a week of something then on I go to whatever new thing has grabbed my brain and dug in.

Back on topic: I won't say I have any 'Personality Disorder' (I will leave that dx to my therapist lol) but I do know that my childhood home situation laid the groundwork for me to be indoctrinated into a cult and in my case it just happened to be the 'Home for Troubled Teens' that I was sent to at 12 which was IFB. As much as I hated it there was also the thing that if you smile and play by the rules then everything is good and you are 'blessed' and accepted and have the approval of those around you, where in the real world if you smile and play by the rules . . . well. . nothing really. There is more but I just don't feel like typing it all

Edited to add: I am also very big on repetition, structure and I do NOT do well with change. When I was younger it was not that bad, but my need for repetition and structure was being fed by religion so I probably did not notice it as much. As the years have passed though it has gotten worse. On bad days I will watch one particular movie over and over again while listening to 6 particular songs over and over on my headphones. It is embarassing for me to admit to that so please don't blast me for it, I am only mentioning it because those traits were there when I was first exposed to IFB and maybe they made indoctrination easier. I don't know.

[Fred]

(02-13-2012 09:11 PM)crystalvca Wrote:  

(02-09-2012 08:43 AM)elfdream Wrote:  I also tend to get over intensely obsessed with things for a short period of time...it could be a TV show or a sports team of this forum!

This! For me it is usually a few days to a week of something then on I go to whatever new thing has grabbed my brain and dug in.

Back on topic: I won't say I have any 'Personality Disorder' (I will leave that dx to my therapist lol) but I do know that my childhood home situation laid the groundwork for me to be indoctrinated into a cult and in my case it just happened to be the 'Home for Troubled Teens' that I was sent to at 12 which was IFB. As much as I hated it there was also the thing that if you smile and play by the rules then everything is good and you are 'blessed' and accepted and have the approval of those around you, where in the real world if you smile and play by the rules . . . well. . nothing really. There is more but I just don't feel like typing it all

Edited to add: I am also very big on repetition, structure and I do NOT do well with change. When I was younger it was not that bad, but my need for repetition and structure was being fed by religion so I probably did not notice it as much. As the years have passed though it has gotten worse. On bad days I will watch one particular movie over and over again while listening to 6 particular songs over and over on my headphones. It is embarassing for me to admit to that so please don't blast me for it, I am only mentioning it because those traits were there when I was first exposed to IFB and maybe they made indoctrination easier. I don't know.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I feel "normal", whatever that is but I suppose as with anything there are different reasons people make choices. I think it is very complex and I doubt it can be reduced to one or two things that can we can determine why we were in the IFB.
My "normal" may very well have some issues that made me ripe for the picking.

[Teddy-ball-game]

Fred - great thread man. I have wondered about this stuff too! In my own mind I'd like to think I am an ammature anthropologist. Human behavior can be interesting - and now that I have completely shedded fundamentalism - I wonder what draws people.
I was personally a "cradel fundy" born into the religion and indoctrinated immediately. Heck I was barely 2 weeks old before my parents were taking me to church.
I wonder now if I was able to shed and shake off the indoctrination because maybe I am mentally going through a sort of mid-life event??
I would like to think that it is all due to scholarly research, critical thinking, etc.
I even have been trying to really think outside of my "box". Even reading material from non-religious people or people whom were never "religious" to gain some different perspectives.
I have basically come to a point in my faith where I live and study like there is a good possibility that I am wrong. ---- a place that in my experience fundys in general will not go (especially "pastors").

[leaving]

I just got diagnosed with bipolar. I am crushed and don't quite know what to think. I know that it's a real condition and I know that I am sympathetic and understanding of others with bipolar, but I am not sympathetic and understanding of myself because it feels like I should have been able to beat it. I already had my mom say that bipolar is really just an excuse given for someone who is totally self-absorbed.