Christmas stress/family of origin

[Phatchick]

(12-27-2011 01:28 AM)mirandaluzdivina Wrote:  I spent Christmas with my fundy family for the first time in 2 years. We went to dinner at my step-grandparents' house, and everyone was so rude.

Jesus, Buddah and Chuthulu, that is nasty! I'm sorry you two had to endure a day like that. I'm with you, I'd stay as far from that pack as possible. If they ask, I'd tell them the truth, in no uncertain terms.
Sending zen hugs to you both.

[senda wales]

I had a pleasant Christmas with my family. I don't live with them anymore so the 2 days together was fine. Life is much better now that I moved out and life in general is better. I didn't get any uncomfortable questions about when I'm going to go to grad school (which I now just shrug off with a non-committal, "Uh.")

As I learned on a family vacation I just came back from a week ago, I can stand being around my family (or other people) 24/7 for up to about 3 days before I start to go crazy.

If there are extended family involved, I used to hang out exclusively with the kids my age. On my dad's side, this has changed a little bit ever since my great-grandma's passing and I was suddenly dealing directly with "the adults" of the family while my parents were on vacation. My mom's side is more traditional and I will always be at the kids table even when I'm married.

[Mommy2Kids]

I'm sure dealing with fundy relatives is much more stressful than what I deal with, but I think dealing with in-laws in general is stressful.

My in-laws buy piles of stuff for the kids - mostly from junky catalogs. So then I have to figure out where to put it all; they think it's funny. MIL told me it's her job to spoil them, and the rest isn't her problem. Nice. I even asked her to consider giving them part of what she spends in cash. She told me she didn't think she could do that. WTH? And she buys boys toys for my daughter "so she can play with her brother." Can you tell who their favorite grandchild is? (They only have TWO.)

That's what the adults get, too, just a much smaller pile. I even sent my MIL a link to something I wanted. It would have cost less than the junk I got. But nope. Junk.

So it goes in the basement to go in the yard sale or to regift or to pitch.

[boymom]

Spent a very quiet, strained lunch on Sat. at in-laws house. Kids got o.k. stuff; hubby and I got stuff we could have gotten ourselves if we really wanted (box of tea, really?). Then went to my family's house which is 2 miles away; all my siblings were there this year, and we had a riotous time. Hilarious. Stayed just long enough. Met them all for breakfast again on Mon. morning. Funny times again. My family are the Simpsons, his family are the VanHoutons.

[JordanMaria]

(12-27-2011 01:28 AM)mirandaluzdivina Wrote:  Another asked his age (40), then turned to me and said, "Miranda, don't you think he's too old for you? I have this friend who just graduated from HAC..." It was like they had no understanding of the concept of common courtesy.

I can't imagine spending another holiday like that, so I probably won't.

Ugh. My boyfriend just turned 40 and my family won't even acknowledge that he even exists. I've been with him for two years and the still refuse to meet him. I tried once bringing to my house and my grandmother flat out told him to his face that he wasn't welcome. My mother even told me I was sinning because I am "with the wrong man". (love how she thinks God died and left her in charge). I'm just worried if something happens to me, they'll try to keep him from me or try and get a restraining order against him cause they're messed up like that.

I'm sorry they were so horrible to you. *hugs* Hang in there!

[lucrezaborgia]

My fundy BIL came over for a few hours yesterday. That was...weird. He kept the conversation at all times far away from anything that was actually important in his bid to stay out of things between my fiance and their mother.

[Ricardo]

40 and still single? Of course he must be damaged goods.
40 and divorced? Even worse.

40 and Jewish? Heaven help us!

[mirandaluzdivina]

(12-27-2011 07:08 AM)bean Wrote:  And Miranda--that's terrible, your poor boyfriend.. so sorry!

(12-27-2011 12:22 PM)Phatchick Wrote:  Jesus, Buddah and Chuthulu, that is nasty! I'm sorry you two had to endure a day like that. I'm with you, I'd stay as far from that pack as possible. If they ask, I'd tell them the truth, in no uncertain terms.
Sending zen hugs to you both.

Thank you both! Luckily, my boyfriend is very patient and understanding, and has a great sense of humor. He said the worst thing was that he actually cut his hair for these people. We're definitely not going there again. In fact, I think we'll probably be in Hawaii for Christmas next year!

(12-27-2011 06:33 PM)JordanMaria Wrote:  Ugh. My boyfriend just turned 40 and my family won't even acknowledge that he even exists. I've been with him for two years and the still refuse to meet him. I tried once bringing to my house and my grandmother flat out told him to his face that he wasn't welcome. My mother even told me I was sinning because I am "with the wrong man". (love how she thinks God died and left her in charge). I'm just worried if something happens to me, they'll try to keep him from me or try and get a restraining order against him cause they're messed up like that.

I'm sorry they were so horrible to you. *hugs* Hang in there!

*hugs back* What is this? We're both short, have older, taller boyfriends, and families with absolutely no tact or sense of propriety...are we the same person?!

[JordanMaria]

(12-28-2011 12:23 AM)mirandaluzdivina Wrote:  *hugs back* What is this? We're both short, have older, taller boyfriends, and families with absolutely no tact or sense of propriety...are we the same person?!

I always knew I had a long lost twin!