Christmas stress/family of origin

[bean]

How does everyone deal?
I'm so glad to be home. Is it just me or is it super hard to spend time with the extended family over 2 plus days? Love these guys to pieces but it's too much. How do you all deal with it?

I love to go there for dinner and visiting for like 3 hours. Much beyond that, it's too much. We live two hours away and one of my siblings lives two states away. So the theory has always been that we need to stay so the kids can be together at Christmas.

Sorry to vent. It's been a hard couple days.

[lucrezaborgia]

I hate Xmas. I hate the expectation that I have to pretend that everything is just so peachy between me and my mother.

[AngelEyes]

Christmas with family is miserable. I'm an educated, well respected professional, but when I go home, I'm treated as though I'm an idiot. I'm not respected as an adult citizen within my family. Annoys the shit out of me.

[zeusTHEgoose]

I usually just hang out with my cousins who are in their teens because honestly, our discussions are much more interesting and mentally engaging than "So, you workin' yet or have you finally come to accept God's call to preach?"

[mirandaluzdivina]

I spent Christmas with my fundy family for the first time in 2 years. We went to dinner at my step-grandparents' house, and everyone was so rude. My step-uncle used the pre-meal grace to pray that my Jewish boyfriend would come to Jesus. One cousin started lecturing him on demon liquor after finding out that he co-owns a bar. Another asked his age (40), then turned to me and said, "Miranda, don't you think he's too old for you? I have this friend who just graduated from HAC..." It was like they had no understanding of the concept of common courtesy.

I can't imagine spending another holiday like that, so I probably won't.

[Tiarali]

I was very lucky this year.

[notdrinkingthekoolaid]

Christmas has been ok for the last few years. My parents have been doing missionary work in various places that keeps them far from us. The rest of my family is also spread out, so we don't have to navigate holidays with them, though I would love to spend a few days with my sisters and their families.

My inlaws are the more normal, reasonable side. We have Christmas down to a science since we all live within 90 minutes of each other. We gathered for a meal and to exchange gifts and left before my kids got out of control. It was maybe 8 hours not including travel time and just about right as timing goes.

It hasn't always been this easy, so my heart goes out to all of you who had much less pleasant family gatherings!

[bean]

pretty sure this year will not be repeated again, ever.
I didn't have the religious component, though extremely conservative politics enters in. My dad would have a fit if I ever got my dream job as executive director for our state's ACLU chapter...
And Miranda--that's terrible, your poor boyfriend.. so sorry!

I guess my idea for next year will be either that we go to a vacation cabin that is large enough that everyone can go to their own space after awhile, or that we drive the 2 hours there for the dinner and stay for 2 hours after and go home, or find a reason we can't attend. My parents would be hurt I am afraid if that were the case. Just awfully frustrated right now..

[laurat99]

My extended family came to our house and celebrated Christmas last night. They are extremely generous, and my kids get more stuff from them than they get from us. My youngest was overstimulated and not having a good time. The toilet overflowed and teenage attitude was shared with all. It could have been much worse, but it was still stressful. I only see my brothers at family gatherings like these, even though we live about an hour away. We all get along, but don't prefer to spend time in each other's company.

[Ricardo]

Family holidays assume perfect families.

Since there is no such thing as a perfect family, any and all holidays mean overtime for counselors and police. My father in law, a wonderful counselor/minister hated the holidays with a passion, precisely because of this. (His own birthday was the 25th.)

Stress overflows during the Holidays.