Quitters take heart

[pblawman]

So, I was thinking about my time at Fundy U almost 30 years ago. I remember the chapel services leading up to the end of the semester warning students not to quit, run home to momma, etc. I remember not wanting to face the shame of being a quitter, and wondering if they were right in predicting that if I quit now, I'll always be a quitter.

So what did I do? I quit. And if it were possible, I signed up for an even worse Fundy Extreme U in my hometown. At that point, I was miserable. I was literally ashamed of the education I was getting. But I was given the same scare tactics to coerce me to stay. If you quit now and go to State U, you will be corrupted. You might as well throw away your Bible because you'll never use it again. I'm sure many of you heard the same things.

Fortunately for me I had parents that supported my ability to make decisions for myself. And for the first time in my life I went against the advice of the MoG that we were under. What happened? It turned out to be the best decision I ever made.

I didn't walk away from the faith. In fact, my faith grew stronger as I saw how isolated my Fundy church was from the real work of Christ. I grew from independent study, exposure to books and resources condemned by Fundy U and my MoG. I felt as though I was in a whole new world.

I found a private (catholic) university that accepted my credits provisionally. Most of them ended up assigned as general electives, so I had a tough road for the next few years to get in my core and major classes. I went on to get a Master's degree and attend a well respected law school. Almost thirty years later, I look back at my decision to break free from that environment as being pivotal.

I say this to encourage those of you who are contemplating a different direction academically. You can get out, you can succeed, and it won't cost you your faith.

Are there any others out there who broke free at the right time who might have similar words of encouragement?

[Darrell]

Quote:I remember the chapel services leading up to the end of the semester warning students not to quit, run home to momma, etc. I remember not wanting to face the shame of being a quitter, and wondering if they were right in predicting that if I quit now, I'll always be a quitter.

I remember that sermon. We heard it at the end of every semester.

They would stay things like "If God call you here, he called you to finish." How exactly they knew this wasn't clear but I guess if you repeat anything loudly and often enough it becomes true.

[Mommy2Kids]

I don't remember any guilting sermons at Northland about leaving or staying. But students who left were definitely talked about by the other students. Many suppositions were floated about as to what sin they had committed or what spiritual problem they had... I wanted to quit at the end of my junior year so badly, but I didn't see any other options. I couldn't go home to live with my abusive mother, and what else was there? And God did use it to my good, as I made my salvation decision at the end of my senior fall semester.

But I have always regretted getting my teaching degree when I really wanted to be an architect.

[pastor's wife]

(12-13-2011 12:37 PM)pblawman Wrote:  If you quit now and go to State U, you will be corrupted. You might as well throw away your Bible because you'll never use it again. I'm sure many of you heard the same things.

And this is what makes me so angry at those who tell the Do Right, BJU folks to just shut up and put up, or shut up and get out. When you're told that BJU (or any other Christian college) is the best and that leaving it is tantamount to rejecting God's best for your life and may cause you to shipwreck your faith and certainly to identify yourself with a pathetic quitter with poor character, why should we expect them to just blithely leave? But if they have the Spirit of God in them, they'll see issues that do not match with Scripture and desire to address those and not just be told to be silent and that their opinions don't matter.

OK. Now back to the scheduled topic!

[exOBCstudent]

(12-13-2011 12:37 PM)pblawman Wrote:  So, I was thinking about my time at Fundy U almost 30 years ago. I remember the chapel services leading up to the end of the semester warning students not to quit, run home to momma, etc. I remember not wanting to face the shame of being a quitter, and wondering if they were right in predicting that if I quit now, I'll always be a quitter.

So what did I do? I quit. And if it were possible, I signed up for an even worse Fundy Extreme U in my hometown. At that point, I was miserable. I was literally ashamed of the education I was getting. But I was given the same scare tactics to coerce me to stay. If you quit now and go to State U, you will be corrupted. You might as well throw away your Bible because you'll never use it again. I'm sure many of you heard the same things.

Fortunately for me I had parents that supported my ability to make decisions for myself. And for the first time in my life I went against the advice of the MoG that we were under. What happened? It turned out to be the best decision I ever made.I didn't walk away from the faith. In fact, my faith grew stronger as I saw how isolated my Fundy church was from the real work of Christ. I grew from independent study, exposure to books and resources condemned by Fundy U and my MoG. I felt as though I was in a whole new world.

I found a private (catholic) university that accepted my credits provisionally. Most of them ended up assigned as general electives, so I had a tough road for the next few years to get in my core and major classes. I went on to get a Master's degree and attend a well respected law school. Almost thirty years later, I look back at my decision to break free from that environment as being pivotal.

I say this to encourage those of you who are contemplating a different direction academically. You can get out, you can succeed, and it won't cost you your faith.

Are there any others out there who broke free at the right time who might have similar words of encouragement?

This is EXACTLY what I found out after leaving OBC although I found out later that I was preached against, made into a sermon illustration, and even physically assaulted by my former Fundy U roommate. I was marked a quitter, shipwreck, and even told I had loyalty issues. My parents were personally attacked and the few IFB churches I attened afterwards while recovering totally denied me ANY opportunities to get involved in their ministries (said they couldn't trust me to be loyal).

My point is that no matter WHAT it costs you, getting out and being truly free in Christ and living in His grace is worth more than those still in bondage will ever understand!

Now my ears perk up when I hear an IFB person or church badmouth something as I now know that such things can often be totally freeing from their cult-like grasp of influence on you.

[Elijah Craig]

100% A+

(12-13-2011 03:29 PM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  My point is that no matter WHAT it costs you, getting out and being truly free in Christ and living in His grace is worth more than those still in bondage will ever understand!

[pblawman]

(12-13-2011 03:29 PM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  This is EXACTLY what I found out after leaving OBC although I found out later that I was preached against, made into a sermon illustration, and even physically assaulted by my former Fundy U roommate. I was marked a quitter, shipwreck, and even told I had loyalty issues. My parents were personally attacked and the few IFB churches I attened afterwards while recovering totally denied me ANY opportunities to get involved in their ministries (said they couldn't trust me to be loyal).

Ahh yes, the sermon fodder. One characteristic of fundies is that they actually hope for moral or spiritual failure to validate their form of spiritual bondage. And when that doesn't happen, they attribute any form of adversity to "chastening". They love their illustrations. I was even called "unpastorable", which is fundyspeak for "I don't buy everything the MoG says."

(12-13-2011 03:29 PM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  My point is that no matter WHAT it costs you, getting out and being truly free in Christ and living in His grace is worth more than those still in bondage will ever understand!

Ha-a-a-a-a-ymen!!!!!

Don't fall for the quitter line. If you realize that you've made a mistake in going down the road you're traveling, there's nothing unscriptural about correcting it. And it's easier to do now than it is three, four, five, or twenty years from now.

[Monipenny]

(12-13-2011 03:29 PM)exOBCstudent Wrote:  

(12-13-2011 12:37 PM)pblawman Wrote:  So, I was thinking about my time at Fundy U almost 30 years ago. I remember the chapel services leading up to the end of the semester warning students not to quit, run home to momma, etc. I remember not wanting to face the shame of being a quitter, and wondering if they were right in predicting that if I quit now, I'll always be a quitter.

So what did I do? I quit. And if it were possible, I signed up for an even worse Fundy Extreme U in my hometown. At that point, I was miserable. I was literally ashamed of the education I was getting. But I was given the same scare tactics to coerce me to stay. If you quit now and go to State U, you will be corrupted. You might as well throw away your Bible because you'll never use it again. I'm sure many of you heard the same things.

Fortunately for me I had parents that supported my ability to make decisions for myself. And for the first time in my life I went against the advice of the MoG that we were under. What happened? It turned out to be the best decision I ever made.I didn't walk away from the faith. In fact, my faith grew stronger as I saw how isolated my Fundy church was from the real work of Christ. I grew from independent study, exposure to books and resources condemned by Fundy U and my MoG. I felt as though I was in a whole new world.

I found a private (catholic) university that accepted my credits provisionally. Most of them ended up assigned as general electives, so I had a tough road for the next few years to get in my core and major classes. I went on to get a Master's degree and attend a well respected law school. Almost thirty years later, I look back at my decision to break free from that environment as being pivotal.

I say this to encourage those of you who are contemplating a different direction academically. You can get out, you can succeed, and it won't cost you your faith.

Are there any others out there who broke free at the right time who might have similar words of encouragement?

This is EXACTLY what I found out after leaving OBC although I found out later that I was preached against, made into a sermon illustration, and even physically assaulted by my former Fundy U roommate. I was marked a quitter, shipwreck, and even told I had loyalty issues. My parents were personally attacked and the few IFB churches I attened afterwards while recovering totally denied me ANY opportunities to get involved in their ministries (said they couldn't trust me to be loyal).

My point is that no matter WHAT it costs you, getting out and being truly free in Christ and living in His grace is worth more than those still in bondage will ever understand!

Now my ears perk up when I hear an IFB person or church badmouth something as I now know that such things can often be totally freeing from their cult-like grasp of influence on you.

Why you just didn't make a very good cult follower.

[Monipenny]

pblawman, you either went to Hyles-Anderson or they all use that same "sermon" spiel. That "quitter" speech didn't bother me, I fell in love the summer I came home from that compound.

[zeusTHEgoose]

I had a similar feeling about leaving the church because I was the Sunday School teacher and a lot of adults really looked up to me. There was even a man who told me he's still wiping my chair clean for when I return. I felt bad at first for leaving but then I remembered that they were adults who can think for themselves. They don't need me, they need God.