Dating at Fundy U

[mirandaluzdivina]

(11-25-2011 03:26 PM)JordanMaria Wrote:  I never dated at BJU. Apparently, my "NJ attitude" scared the boys away. o_O

Haha! I went to UCLA, and even the guys there seemed intimidated by a New York girl. I think it was mostly my accent, because I don't look like I sound (you don't see a lot of petite blondes who talk like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny), but I've definitely got the attitude as well.

[mirandaluzdivina]

(11-25-2011 11:58 PM)IveHeardVersesMisquoted Wrote:  I married a non-denom dude. Best thing I ever did. Happiest marriage I've ever seen! He is never suspicious and I am not dirt under his feet--he was raised to totally not be that way. So in my experience, yay for non-Baptist dudes.

At first, I read that as "non-demon dude," which I guess could be just as accurate when you compare him to IFB guys! But yay for non-Baptist dudes, indeed! I found myself a nice Jewish boy. With long hair. And tattoos. Who co-owns a bar and plays in a metal band. I never do anything half-way, lol.

[Jenni]

The rules at BJ almost made dating seem more extreme, you know? Like it was a VERY BIG DEAL to be able to hold a guy's hand - I do remember roommates being super-excited to go on their dating outings. And chapping couples who wanted to go off campus - talk about awkward! It got to the point where if a guy and a girl had a meal together in the dining common, everyone figured they were dating. I felt like I was back in junior high, really.

It almost seems like the Powers That Be expected people to come to BJU and that they would find "The One" and spend time with that random person and then get married without having to deal with dating at all. It definitely didn't prepare people to date out in the real world once they graduated.

[I'veHeardVersesMisquoted]

Mirandaluzdivina, what you wrote: "I never do anything halfway, lol."

Made my morning reading that sentence after picturing your Jewish dude. You're right--it's all or nothing!

P.S. I have no idea how to repost a part of someone's post and respond underneath it. How is that done??

[Tikatu]

(11-26-2011 10:22 AM)IveHeardVersesMisquoted Wrote:  P.S. I have no idea how to repost a part of someone's post and respond underneath it. How is that done??

Click on the "Reply" button; it'll set up all the quotations in one post for you. Or, if you want to quote someone somewhere else, click on the little word balloon in Full Edit mode. To give credit to the quotee, put an = and their name in the first "quote" command, then put the quote itself after it. Make sure you have a "/quote" command after the text you're quoting.

Also, you can edit between the commands if you want to highlight a specific line, as I did with yours.

[mirandaluzdivina]

Thanks for sharing, everyone! It's been...enlightening. And more than a little creepy! I guess I'll share my only fundy dating experience, though mine took place in high school rather than college. I joked earlier about "corrupting" the pastor's son. Here's the story behind that:

My church/school was relatively "progressive" in that we were actually allowed to date, and seniors were even allowed to go out without a chaperone (daytime dates only, though!). So the pastor's son, who I'll refer to as "J," asked me out for a snack after school one Friday. Before I got on the subway to go home, I gave him a little kiss on the cheek. He blushed and looked nervous, but I figured he was just shy. Then at church on Sunday, he wouldn't acknowledge me at all. That night, the pastor called my dad. "J" felt guilty about that stupid kiss on the cheek and confessed to his dad, who called my dad to lecture him about teaching his daughter some better morals before I tried to corrupt another boy. When he finally hung up, my dad came up to my room and said, "If 'J' asks you out again, you're not going. That kid's a wuss."

[amyrose5]

I went on a set-up "coffee meet" with a graduate of BJU one time. He refused to call it a date. He also refused to meet me there demanding to pick me up at my parents house (we were both working adults...). When we arrived at the place where we had afternoon coffee, he scolded me for opening my own car door. And he initiated a discussion of weddings and marriage.

I knew very little about BJU at the time and just thought he was insane.

Yeah...that was a one time deal.

[grace2live]

(11-25-2011 03:46 PM)amyrose5 Wrote:  Okay...why 7 p.m.? I assume due to darkness? But is the campus not reasonably well lit? And whether or not it is dark at 7 p.m. is going to be a seasonal matter...in winter, it's going to be dark earlier. So was it just a random rule?

I always thought it had to do with their emphasis on studying. They wanted you to concentrate on your homework in the evening, not on dating. That was the same time that study hour started in the dorms, too.

[Naomi]

Whoa! All these stories about abusive boyfriends make me glad I decided early on to never ever date any man at Bob Jones. What a mess!!

I know there are some good ones from there. But I was willing to forgo that to avoid the messed up ones!

[HazelEyed]

(11-26-2011 12:57 PM)grace2live Wrote:  

(11-25-2011 03:46 PM)amyrose5 Wrote:  Okay...why 7 p.m.? I assume due to darkness? But is the campus not reasonably well lit? And whether or not it is dark at 7 p.m. is going to be a seasonal matter...in winter, it's going to be dark earlier. So was it just a random rule?

I always thought it had to do with their emphasis on studying. They wanted you to concentrate on your homework in the evening, not on dating. That was the same time that study hour started in the dorms, too.

I don't think so, because you could still be together in approved areas, like the snack shop and the "dating parlor." You just couldn't walk together to those places. And the ban included weekends, and the study hours weren't applicable then, either.