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~~SomethingFundy~~ · 12-06-2011, 04:42 PM

Buhh, it's screwed up. Two people can love each other and a moggggg says nooo, not good enough and it's over.

**senda wales** · 12-06-2011, 05:14 PM

(12-06-2011 04:42 PM)SomethingFundy Wrote: Buhh, it's screwed up. Two people can love each other and a moggggg says nooo, not good enough and it's over.

Why didn't you tell the mog no? Why didn't she tell the mog no?

Elijah Craig · 12-06-2011, 05:19 PM

(12-06-2011 05:14 PM)senda wales Wrote:
(12-06-2011 04:42 PM)SomethingFundy Wrote: Buhh, it's screwed up. Two people can love each other and a moggggg says nooo, not good enough and it's over.

Why didn't you tell the mog no? Why didn't she tell the mog no?

I don't know the situation. I don't know SomethingFundy except for what he posts here. Maybe the mog just gave some good advice that he followed. Maybe the mog was completely out of line.

But if the second case is closer to the truth, then what would have happened after they were married and SomethingFundy decides to go to another church? Move away for a job? Would the mog cause trouble in the marriage?

SomethingFundy may very well be better off, even if he doesn't feel that way yet.

**senda wales** · 12-06-2011, 05:24 PM

(12-06-2011 05:19 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote:
(12-06-2011 05:14 PM)senda wales Wrote: Why didn't you tell the mog no? Why didn't she tell the mog no?

I don't know the situation. I don't know SomethingFundy except for what he posts here. Maybe the mog just gave some good advice that he followed. Maybe the mog was completely out of line.

But if the second case is closer to the truth, then what would have happened after they were married and SomethingFundy decides to go to another church? Move away for a job? Would the mog cause trouble in the marriage?

SomethingFundy may very well be better off, even if he doesn't feel that way yet.

Yeah.... I don't want to sound insensitive. But... I kind of feel like, if all it took was someone telling you to break off your relationship to get between you two, then you're probably better off broken up now.

External pressures notwithstanding - she chose to leave and she chose to get with someone else. Don't make excuses for her.

~~SomethingFundy~~ · 12-06-2011, 05:39 PM

Sorry, this is oen of the topics that just gets me going and I am sorry for as much as I rant about it.

alm517 · 12-07-2011, 08:16 AM

(12-06-2011 01:55 PM)WifeofBill Wrote:
(11-30-2011 09:00 AM)alm517 Wrote: I didn't go to fundy u, because I decided in back in Christian school that enough was enough, but my hubby did and at his there were dating rules but since he lived off campus we never followed them. He was supposed to go ask the school's president for permission to get engaged before we did but he ignored that too.

What in the world was their justification that they felt they could have ANY say in who someone marries? Did they try to back it up with scripture? Would they have the gall to tell someone that they couldn't marry someone? Ugh.

I don't remember right off hand because that was 11 years ago...I'll ask the hubby if he does and get back to you.

HazelEyed · 12-08-2011, 01:12 AM

(11-27-2011 08:38 PM)FinallyFree Wrote: At Ambassador, we had to fill out dating passes to even talk to each other for extended periods of time. Dates off campus had to be chaperoned, and on campus dating was severely restricted to certain public areas. It was hard to find a place to be alone. Touching the opposite gender was strictly forbidden, but my wife (then girlfriend) and I ignored this rule on breaks, which was also forbidden since we were instructed to follow the handbook even during the summer. Talk about control freaks.

I MUST know more about these "dating passes" to have a long conversation!!! Details, details!!!! Did you have to fill them out in order to sit and talk at a snack shop-style place? What about a phone conversation? Did you have to fill them out every single time you talked, or was there a blanket form that covered all the long conversations you'd ever have? Did having a long conversation mean that everyone thought you were dating, much like how at BJU eating lunch or dinner with a guy led to everyone assuming you were going to marry him and bear his children?

Lastly, did people think they were INSANE or did they sort of accept it as a good rule? Because it's blowing my mind.

techmedic · 12-08-2011, 02:00 AM

Ok....I have several questions... For those of you who have no clue who I am I WAS an agnostic (the more I think about it (recently) I was more like a satanist that's another story pm me if you want details it's a sad but inspiring story) so any ways on with my questions...
1.) I am a widower how is dating in an IFB being like this (2 kids)
2.) I am heavily tattooed (about 1/4 of my body) will I be shunned for these?
3.) Will I be able to find/date a girl from an IFB?

I think my pastor really likes me (I hope it isn't a front) it's been 3 months and I feel that there is a real connection with him. The other person (one person on this site knows who these people are please tell me the truth if you read this I really trust you) I really feel a connection with we play video games ect together and I really like them as a person. I am happy I found Christ and god again, but this site has really put me on guard and I almost feel like I am being "bad" by coming here (ALMOST I was raised non IFB and it's easy to tell that). This thread has really made me think that I will never be accepted and I will not be able to find a woman within the church because I will be shunned.
Please give me advise, I really hate the bar scene and I want to find a good Christian woman to share my life with and have more children with. I just want to know if I'm wasting my time looking in the church.

Elijah Craig · 12-08-2011, 04:02 AM

A lot of the people on here found their spouses in an IFB church or college. Many of them are in happy or at least functional marriages. I don't think you should rule out a person just because of the church they go to. A lot of IFB churches, especially the ones out in the country or in small towns, are actually full of normal people. I would say that your experience with a specific person should count more than what people on the Internet say when they're speaking generally about a religious group.

Tikatu · 12-08-2011, 12:08 PM

(12-08-2011 02:00 AM)techmedic Wrote: Ok....I have several questions... For those of you who have no clue who I am I WAS an agnostic (the more I think about it (recently) I was more like a satanist that's another story pm me if you want details it's a sad but inspiring story) so any ways on with my questions...
1.) I am a widower how is dating in an IFB being like this (2 kids)
2.) I am heavily tattooed (about 1/4 of my body) will I be shunned for these?
3.) Will I be able to find/date a girl from an IFB?

I think my pastor really likes me (I hope it isn't a front) it's been 3 months and I feel that there is a real connection with him. The other person (one person on this site knows who these people are please tell me the truth if you read this I really trust you) I really feel a connection with we play video games ect together and I really like them as a person. I am happy I found Christ and god again, but this site has really put me on guard and I almost feel like I am being "bad" by coming here (ALMOST I was raised non IFB and it's easy to tell that). This thread has really made me think that I will never be accepted and I will not be able to find a woman within the church because I will be shunned.
Please give me advise, I really hate the bar scene and I want to find a good Christian woman to share my life with and have more children with. I just want to know if I'm wasting my time looking in the church.

I'll ask you this: why do you want an IFB woman? There are good Christian women in other churches as well, and many of them will come with less judgmental baggage. It's great that your pastor likes you and you feel a connection there. Not all IFB pastors are the messes that we talk about here. If he accepts you as you are, tattoos, kids and all,(which is the key, IMHO), then his example should spill over to his congregation.

Also, there are more venues for finding a good Christian woman than just church. Volunteering at charities and even Christian dating sites can put you in touch with women who believe as you do.

I'm glad you've come back to Christ; he was waiting for you.