The Baby and the Bathwater

[lucrezaborgia]

Maybe this is the wrong thread to make this statement and maybe someone has made it before:

“If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.”

Whenever you think you have all the answers...stop! No one has all the answers. No one has the perfect road. People who say that they have the formula for Utopia should always be looked upon with suspicion.

[MrsSarahN]

Honestly? Nothing. Because anything good I could've gotten from the fundy life I could've gotten somewhere less crazy that didn't leave so many scars. =\ I still retain my beliefs in the fundamentals of Christianity (salvation by Christ alone, virgin birth, the Trinity, heaven/hell, etc.), but that's no thanks to the IFB because I could've easily have dumped God altogether after I left. If it wasn't for a friend who immediately swept me into her completely non-fundy nondenom church, I don't know what would've happened. So I owe my lack of forsaking Christianity to God alone.

[Tiarali]

I agree with the fundamentals of the faith. I believe the bible is true and it is important. But since I believe I've been listening to a lot of bad interpretation of scripture over the years, I'm not sure what that means yet I learned from fundyland to distrust churches that preach different gender roles. Whether that's how God wanted us to live or not, people who preach it seem to just want to abuse women and children, and that's not what God wanted.

I've learned not to trust many people. I've learned how to be alone. I've learned a lot from fundyland. I wish I'd never been there.

[mirandaluzdivina]

If I have to choose something, I guess I'm glad that I was basically forced to learn how to cook. I'm actually quite good at it now, and it's one of my favorite things to do. I'm even taking a few "serious amateur" classes (artisanal breads and breakfast pastries, yum!) at the French Culinary Institute next year. And it all started with a disgusting green bean casserole for a church potluck!

[Elijah Craig]

(11-25-2011 11:30 AM)elfdream Wrote:  At one time I did throw it all out. I was for all intents and purposes an agnostic.

But then I started building it back up again. I would probably say that we pretty much hold pretty much all of the Nicene creed in common even though they aren't a 'creed' tradition. That's what I kept.

This. I gave up on the process of trying to figure it out, recognizing that all my thought processes were too deeply influenced by fundagelicalism to see straight. I walked away from it all. I still attended church regularly, not necessarily every week, but regularly. I avoided theology books entirely. Except for a handful of people, I stopped hanging out with Christians.

I won't argue if it was right or wrong, but it what I needed to do to get my head back on straight. For quite a while I asked myself if I should even bother with church attendance or claim to be a Christian. After a few fits and starts, a deeper faith seemed to take root. Then recently, I've started noticing that I've been cleaning up around the edges and am praying more than I probably have in a decade.

If you ask me for a set of doctrines that I've maintained, I could not really tell you. I accept Christianity and accept that the Nicene Creed is the essence of Christianity. I accept that Scripture (and reason) compels me to be predestinarian. I can't accept pedobaptism or an episcopacy, although I see their place in church history and understand how they came about. Creationism or theistic evolution? Meh. Pre/post/a mil? Meh. Dispensationalism or covenant theology? Meh. Complementarianism or egalitarianism? Meh. Charismatic gifts or cessationism? Meh.

I have no problem with studying theology, but my experience with religious dogmatism has been too negative for me to want much to do with it. Academic Christianity is for many an escape from reality, while for others it is a way to exert control over others. Whatever gifts one may have, if they have not charity their words are nothing but a noisy gong or banging cymbal.

[MKxcomm]

I would keep the bits about the actual true joy that can come from being a wife and a mother. It's probably my personality type but I LOVE taking care of my family! I have a degree in interactive digital media and not too long ago was the main video specialist at a large company, but I was very happy to go to part time videography and be able to work from home and be with my daughter while she's young. I SUFFERED when I had to leave her at two months old and travel all over the country and over night while her daddy watched her. He is wonderful with her, and practically raised her for the first year of her life, but it's my passion to be a mommy. I think about all the ways I can help her become an independent person, how I can keep from quenching her fiery spirit and keep my sanity at the same time. I think about how I can help her be good at math because her dad and I aren't so hot at mathematics It's my passion, and my craft and I work every day to be a better mother and to give her everything she needs, and love her and her daddy in the right way. I'm no stepford wife btw, just a girl that loves her baby. I was taught in Fundyville that motherhood can be very rewarding. For me it has been. I truly enjoy nothing better.

[senda wales]

I keep an openness to the possibility of the existence of God, a willingness to listen. I've maintained an interest in understanding spiritual meaning and truth.

I try to stay compassionate to those around me. More so than a lot of things in life, Christianity, approached with the right attitude, helped me be a little less selfish, standoffish, and narcissistic. The moments where I got out of my comfort zone, went out of my way to help someone out and really be there for them, whether as a service project or because I felt that a Chrisitian "ought" to, were the moments I knew Christianity isn't all bunk.

I am also still appreciative of the role of a church (or at least a tight-knit community) in providing a network of support, encouragement, friendship, and guidance. I appreciate that church can be a way of carving out time in a busy schedule to sit quietly and reflect.

[Jenni]

(11-29-2011 04:14 AM)senda wales Wrote:  I try to stay compassionate to those around me. More so than a lot of things in life, Christianity, approached with the right attitude, helped me be a little less selfish, standoffish, and narcissistic. The moments where I got out of my comfort zone, went out of my way to help someone out and really be there for them, whether as a service project or because I felt that a Chrisitian "ought" to, were the moments I knew Christianity isn't all bunk.

I am also still appreciative of the role of a church (or at least a tight-knit community) in providing a network of support, encouragement, friendship, and guidance. I appreciate that church can be a way of carving out time in a busy schedule to sit quietly and reflect.

Yeah, this. Definitely. I know a lot of people worry that when a person starts to question what s/he believes, s/he will blow off Christianity or church altogether. Church is still important to me, as is my faith, but both play a slightly different role than before. I love my church community here, but it's not the only circle I belong to anymore.