Intrigued

[Natalie]

A while ago, I ran across visionarydaughters.com. From what I've gathered, they believe that women should stay home until Daddy approves a husband.

I wasn't raised in that camp of fundyland but am curious to know what it's really like apart from the perfectly posed photos on the site.

Does anyone have experience in it?

[Tikatu]

(10-27-2011 10:49 PM)Natalie Wrote:  A while ago, I ran across visionarydaughters.com. From what I've gathered, they believe that women should stay home until Daddy approves a husband.

I wasn't raised in that camp of fundyland but am curious to know what it's really like apart from the perfectly posed photos on the site.

Does anyone have experience in it?

I can point you in the direction of two blogs written by people who were affected by it. One, Razing Ruth, is from the POV of a girl raised in that camp. The other, Commandments of Men, is from the viewpoint of a man whose fiancée was raised that way and what happened to them when her father decided he wasn't the right man. Read his 'The Joke Was On Me' for the story.

From what I've read, the whole thing is very wrapped up in Gothard's teachings, and twists scripture like it was a pretzel.

[Away-From-The-Umbrella]

(10-27-2011 11:10 PM)Tikatu Wrote:  

(10-27-2011 10:49 PM)Natalie Wrote:  A while ago, I ran across visionarydaughters.com. From what I've gathered, they believe that women should stay home until Daddy approves a husband.

I wasn't raised in that camp of fundyland but am curious to know what it's really like apart from the perfectly posed photos on the site.

Does anyone have experience in it?

I can point you in the direction of two blogs written by people who were affected by it. One, Razing Ruth, is from the POV of a girl raised in that camp. The other, Commandments of Men, is from the viewpoint of a man whose fiancée was raised that way and what happened to them when her father decided he wasn't the right man. Read his 'The Joke Was On Me' for the story.

From what I've read, the whole thing is very wrapped up in Gothard's teachings, and twists scripture like it was a pretzel.

"The Joke was on Me" was absolutely heartbreaking!!!

[Elijah Craig]

(10-27-2011 10:49 PM)Natalie Wrote:  A while ago, I ran across visionarydaughters.com. From what I've gathered, they believe that women should stay home until Daddy approves a husband.

In my limited experience with such families, they range from more or less sane to so wierd you get the creeps just seeing them.

I've also known a family or two that let the daughters get educations and work outside the home, but were still very controlling as to whom she could and couldn't marry or even date.

[Natalie]

I wondered how much heartbreak there was in these types of families. Of course, Elizabeth and Anna Sophia make it appear to be all flowers and sunshine, and it doesn't hurt that the girls are stunning.

Thanks for the links. I'll look them up.

[Lady Julian]

Following up on what Elijah Craig said, the saner versions of these families are often devotees of Josh Harris-style courtship. Although they may let their daughters go to college, get a job, become missionaries or whatever, these families often assume the right to "approve" any young man who gets involved in their daughters' life.

Of course, people like RazingRuth and CommandmentsofMen have experienced heartache and trouble far beyond what the Josh Harris crowd has, but that doesn't mean the Josh Harris crew doesn't have trouble as well. I know from personal experience that if the couple and the parents are separated by distance or worldview, the approval process generates a great deal of unnecessary strife (one of the couple will generally feel like they're under the microscope and get all offended). Also, I've learned that if the woman grows older and simply does not get married, that gets weird too: A thirty-year-old woman, for instance, who just met someone is not going to be jazzed to have her dad interrogating a thirty-two year old man. At a certain point, the couple has to take charge of their own relationship, for good or ill, which is just what is discouraged in this crowd.

So, that's the sane version. I was blessed enough to grow up in the sane version, not the weird version.

[exOBCstudent]

There was a preacher who used to frequent our church and even spoke at SMITE camp one year who teaches some of that junk. I've seen some families who practiced that but only knew them from the outside.

[Presbygirl]

"SMITE" camp! Holy moly that sounds so scary! Who willingly goes to SMITE camp? What does it stand for?

[Darrell]

SMITE is Student Missionaries In Training for Evangelism.

I have friends who did it for years.