|
Speaking of Baptists...II
|
|
01-18-2011, 01:19 AM
 Post: #1 |
|||
|
|||
 Speaking of Baptists...II
Another joke, from the late, great Lew Grizzard (rest his soul):
 There once was a small town with 3 churches, Lutheran, Methodist and Baptist and (to the surprise of many) the ministers and their wives were all friends. So much so that they decided to go on vacation together. But, sadly, as they were coming home, their plane crashed and all 6 people were killed. They soon found themselves standing at the gates of Heaven. The wives were all good christian ladies and were passed through the Pearly Gates with no problems. But when the Lutheran minister walked up, St. Peter shook his head. "I'm sorry, Reverend,"he said,"but according to our records, you lusted after money. You never actually had any but you lusted in your heart for it and that's just as bad. According to our records you wouldn't even marry until you met a woman named Penny. So I can't let you into Heaven." The Lutheran minister sadly kissed his wife goodbye and headed for the stairs to the nether regions. The Methodist minister was next and St. Peter stopped him as well. "Sorry, Reverend but according to our records, you lusted after alcohol. You never actually drank, but you lusted in your heart for it and that's just as bad. You wouldn't even marry until you met a woman named Sherry. I'm afraid I can't let you in either." The Methodist minister sadly kissed his wife goodbye and turned towards the stairs. St. Peter was about to speak to the Baptist preacher but he was already kissing his wife goodbye. "So long Fanny." Some people get cool hallucinations that tell them to kill people. Mine just try to get me into trouble. Paul Southworth |
|||
|
|
01-18-2011, 08:36 AM
Post: #2 |
|||
|
|||
|
RE: Speaking of Baptists...II
LOL!!!@
|
|||
|
|
|
01-18-2011, 12:19 PM
Post: #3 |
|||
|
|||
RE: Speaking of Baptists...II
"For God has imprisoned everyone in disobedience so he could have mercy on everyone." ~ St. Paul |
|||
|
|
|
01-20-2011, 07:45 AM
Post: #4 |
|||
|
|||
|
RE: Speaking of Baptists...II
cymbals crashing.....She'll be here all week folks! Make sure you try the lamb!
Having a 'How 'bout them Cincinnati Reds?' day...and waiting for the other shoe drop... |
|||
|
|
|
01-20-2011, 09:13 AM
Post: #5 |
|||
|
|||
|
RE: Speaking of Baptists...II
...and don't forget to tip your waiter.
|
|||
|
|
|
01-20-2011, 10:23 AM
Post: #6 |
|||
|
|||
| RE: Speaking of Baptists...II | |||
|
|
|
01-20-2011, 10:40 AM
Post: #7 |
|||
|
|||
| RE: Speaking of Baptists...II | |||
|
|
|
01-20-2011, 12:22 PM
Post: #8 |
|||
|
|||
RE: Speaking of Baptists...II
(01-20-2011 10:40 AM)FormerFundy Wrote:(01-20-2011 10:23 AM)JessB Wrote: with a tract, not money... Besides whe wouldn't want the wait-staff's blood on our hands, should they be horribly dismembered in a car accident on the way home, without us giving them the opportunity to read the "Simple Plan of Salvation" and pray the prayer at the end. "There is no worse heresy than the fact that the office sanctifies the holder of it.” -from Lord Acton's Axiom “Yippee ki-yay, Mother Fundamentalist” |
|||
|
|
|
01-24-2011, 08:58 PM
Post: #9 |
|||
|
|||
|
RE: Speaking of Baptists...II
If you ever go fishing with a Baptist, make sure you invite two. That way you'll have all the beer for yourself.
|
|||
|
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)