Hi, any Aussies here?

[Tiarali]

Hi all.

I was going to an Independent Baptist Church here in Australia for five years. Honestly, I'd never heard the term Independent Fundamental Baptist until I came online, maybe that's an American thing? The church I went into was certainly very proud to be fundamental, and seems to be of a similar vein to the churches that you describe here.

I loved my church. I wanted to go to all the services and spend the rest of my life there, and have my kids grow up there.

I was a rebel though; I didn't actually join the church as a member because the book you have to read to see if you're up to snuff (cause not just any run of the mill christian can be a church member) said you couldn't listen to pop music and I honestly quite like it, I knew if I became a church member I would be lying on that point so I didn't. Haha in their school you aren't even allowed to discuss pop music...

Oh, also, I was very rebellious and got my nose pierced. I did listen to their sermon on why piercing was wrong, but the sermon (and the bible) never explained why some piercings are ok and others are not, and I looked around at the room and saw so many women happily wearing pierced ears, so I figured that I would be just as obedient as they and pierce my nose.

Anyway, despite this I was generally accepted there, so I figured this wasn't a bad church. I was aware that there are some weirdo IB churches out there, but I figured I was going to a good one. And yes, there were some weirdos in the congregation, but the Pastor himself, the MOg, was a good man.

Then I had to leave my husband, for a reason that is biblical. And the claws came out.

Wow.

In their defence, some of the people there continued to do the right thing by me. One of the associate pastors spoke to my husband and convinced him to let me have ownership of one of the family cars, both of which were registered to his name. One of my friends managed to find some furniture for me and the kids by asking people for any furniture that they don't want (but can't be bothered selling to a second hand store). Some of the people there are good.

But they are also in love with their church, and they cannot stand to hear anyone say that there is a problem with their church. I do not know how much longer I will have friends for. They are aware that there were things done that are wrong - but they try and say that they were done by individuals in the church, not the church itself.

Now the major wrongs were done by a man who has a high position of authority in the church and is the head of a counselling ministry. Also the Pastor refused to deal with that situation appropriately, protecting this man's reputation and position in the church. Then some of the abuse I have received from others (including a recent graduate of the church's basement college - never heard that term before this site, thank you ) were based on them accepting the Pastor's opinion on divorce as being higher than the biblical teaching on divorce.

It has only been in the last month or so that I have started reading about spiritual abuse, and realising that this 'wonderful' church was quite spiritually abusive. Honestly while I was there I loved it. I LOVED IT. I defended it. I argued with my family about using the KJV! Now I am eagerly waiting for my new bible to arrive in the post, since I know I will not read the KJV for many years, and I hate reading a screen, I want to sink my fangs into a book. Now I am starting to realise that my hurts and frustrations are due to a church not to GOD I want to start fresh and get to know my LORD.

Anyway, thank you for sites like this. I am starting to heal. It will take a long time. I am getting sick and tired of being told that I am 'bitter', and that any legitimate criticism I make of IBs is sinful. I am attending a new church now and I love it, even though I don't really feel comfortable with some parts of it, the people are friendly and they are teaching me that GOD LOVES ME. Right where I am. Whether I'm keeping a set of man-made rules or not. Plus it's nice to hear some real music

It's just sad that I think I will lose the friends I have long before I am able to make real, close friends where I am now going. I mean, I have acquaintances and people I can talk to but it all takes time :/

[Waldo L]

I'm still kinda new here, so I don't know if anyone's an Aussie. I'm from the eastern US. Wow. You sound like the perfect example of a SFL'er. I think you'll love it here.

[Scorpio]

Welcome aboard!

You sound like you will fit in real well here at SFL.

[Discovering Life]

(08-25-2011 06:13 PM)tiarali Wrote:  But they are also in love with their church, and they cannot stand to hear anyone say that there is a problem with their church.

So true.

(08-25-2011 06:13 PM)tiarali Wrote:  Now I am starting to realise that my hurts and frustrations are due to a church not to GOD I want to start fresh and get to know my LORD.

And what an amazing LORD He is, the best part of leaving fundyland was discovering who God really is.

(08-25-2011 06:13 PM)tiarali Wrote:  Anyway, thank you for sites like this. I am starting to heal. It will take a long time. I am getting sick and tired of being told that I am 'bitter', and that any legitimate criticism I make of IBs is sinful. I am attending a new church now and I love it, even though I don't really feel comfortable with some parts of it, the people are friendly and they are teaching me that GOD LOVES ME. Right where I am. Whether I'm keeping a set of man-made rules or not. Plus it's nice to hear some real music

Welcome to SFL! Hope your stay continues to bring you healing and growth.

[leaving]

I'm Australian! Living in the US now though.

[Perry]

Welcome to SFL!