Mission Possible- Story Time: Your Challenge

[Bubba1]

What wonderful singin’, just as I am, just as I am. Amen? (Amen).

The minister had given his Sunday morning service, like normal, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than usual. Well, later at the door, while shakin’ hands with the members as they moved out, one man said, "Pastor, your sermon was simply wonderful - so inspirin’ and refreshin’.” The minister broke out in a big smile, until the man added, "Why I felt like a new man when I woke up!"

(Church breaks out with hysterical laughter)

Well, I won’t be keepin’ you that long this evenin’ so if ya’ll will open your King James Bibles to Romans 3:23. (Fumbling through pages) “For ALL have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Now, hold your places there and turn to Romans 10:13. (Fumbling through pages, again) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the LORD shall…be…saved.”

Dear heavenly Father, bless this your anointed one, give me the words you want these people to hear, and give them the ears to hear and the hearts to understand. In the name of your only son, Jesus Christ, amen.


(Pause, takes swig of water)

When we look at the first verse, we see we have ALL sinned. What does ALL mean? A few? Most? Everyone except you? No, all means all, from the heathen nations to our United States. It says we have sinned. What is sin? It’s that worldly stuff you see on the “hellivision”. It’s the sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. It’s the smokin’, drinkin’ and cussin’ you see around you. But, Bless God! Romans 10:13. Lord, we just…It’s good to be saved! (Amens) From the gutter most (pause for effect) to the uttermost! (Hallelujah!)

But, you know what? We have them Carnal Christians. They’re backslidden ‘cause they’ve compromised with the world. We got Christians who don’t come every time these doors are open. They walk that slippery slope. (Preach it) The King James says avoid the appearance of evil, but they use these NIV and ESV versions that pervert those words. They go out to these bar and grills to eat or watch them Hellivision shows that promote adultry and sex, and they let their children watch it! Or they listen to that worldly music, that “contemporary” Christian music. There ain’t nothin’ Christian about it!!! The men might even wear jewelry (shock). They need to get right with GAHD!!!! (Amen brother) They’re saved, but they ain’t livin’ for the Lord!!! They got a heart problem and their only hope is the Great Physician!!! We probably have some of you here tonight. Be glad you did come ‘cause this here is revival, and it’s just for you!
(Chorus of amens and preach its)

(Pause, swig of water)
Now that’ll preach (big smile).

What we need is a return to the old paths. We need a new look at the old book. We need not to remove the ancient landmarks. I believe this is God’s will for us all; If you don’t like that, take that up with Him. (Amen!) The more you read the Sacred Pages, the better you’ll know the Rock of Ages! (Preach it!) I believe God is calling some of you to full-time Christian service, but you won’t give your life to Him. You want to be one of those Carnal Christians I was talkin’ about, but that dog won’t hunt. Let go and let GAHD!!! (Amen brother! Preach it!)

Dear Heavenly Father, help us not to leave the old paths. Give us the strength to resist Satan’s temptations and the worldliness around us. Let us be a beacon to this community.

Every head bowed, every eye closed, no one looking around. Sister, come up and play a few verses of “Is your all on the Altar”. If you’re here tonight, and you know you’re a Carnal Christian, and you know you need help, come to the altar tonight and get right with God. (Group of people make their way to the front) If you’re here tonight and you aren’t saved, you’re living for the world, just raise your hand so we can have someone come to you and help lead you to the Lord (Hands go up).

(10 verses of “Is your all on the Altar” later)

And all God’s people said? (Resounding Amen!)
To all those who made professions tonight, we’ll be praying for you. To everyone, remember that we meet again tomorrow night at 7:30, and it’ll be good ‘cause we’ll be talkin’ about authority and the role of women and men. You’re dismissed.

[Tony Mel]

(01-15-2011 12:23 PM)Bubba1 Wrote:  Let us be a beacon to this community.

That makes me think of the Fundies' obsession with lighthouses.

[Scorpio]

Bubba that is some darn fine preachin' brother. You can't put that out on the interwebz without a virtual altar. I need an altar so I can get right with gid!

[Don]

(01-15-2011 01:37 PM)Scorpio Wrote:  Bubba that is some darn fine preachin' brother. You can't put that out on the interwebz without a virtual altar. I need an altar so I can get right with gid!

Com'on down brother there's alway room for one more. Don't let Satan hold you back, This may be your last chance. While we sing another stanza you come. I can see gid is moving all across the sanctuary. You just step out and take that first step and Jesus will meet you halfway. Com'on... sister play through one more time.... We won't close until the holy Spirit closes... If you need to do business with gid don't wait another minute longer.

[Tony Mel]

I can see a good sermon about the 7,000 Knees brewing.

[Scorpio]

(01-15-2011 02:38 PM)Don Wrote:  Com'on down brother there's alway room for one more. Don't let Satan hold you back, This may be your last chance. While we sing another stanza you come. I can see gid is moving all across the sanctuary. You just step out and take that first step and Jesus will meet you halfway. Com'on... sister play through one more time.... We won't close until the holy Spirit closes... If you need to do business with gid don't wait another minute longer.

There must be a whole lotta sin in that church. So are the real sinful ones up front or the holiest?