Is it easier being a guy in fundyland than being a girl?

[Elijah Craig]

(08-15-2011 10:54 PM)Darrell Wrote:  

Quote:Then as they enter middle age many were dumped for a new, younger model and relegated to a life of poverty and left to find a low skilled job somewhere.

I think many of them (mistakenly) believe that the rigors of fundyland will keep this from happening to them.

I was about to say it, but you said it better in fewer words. The only thing I might add is that they may have discounted the importance of having a personality and being socialized. Women can retain a spouse better after the vitality of youth fades if they have a personality to go with it, and if they're adequately socialized they're better able to spot the guys who would do that.

I think the balance of power is naturally in favor of men, generally speaking, but I also believe most men are not abusive or unfaithful. However, for those that are patriarchal women are an easy target, if those women take patriarchy seriously instead of using it as a game.

[notdrinkingthekoolaid]

(08-15-2011 10:54 PM)Darrell Wrote:  

Quote:Then as they enter middle age many were dumped for a new, younger model and relegated to a life of poverty and left to find a low skilled job somewhere.

I think many of them (mistakenly) believe that the rigors of fundyland will keep this from happening to them.

SO true! I have a close family member who is going back to school at 45 for her nursing degree. I believe she will make it but she has a long road ahead.

Personally...I believe that no one has it easy in fundyland. There is this impossible expectation of perfection for both genders. For males--it's to be a preacher boy with the perfect submissive wife and obedient children all the while pouring your life out for your church and supporting your family on $5 a day. For females, the ultimate goal is the perfect marriage and multiple children all the while maintaining the perfect home and unquestioning modesty at all times. The goal for both is the facade of perfection which is impossible to sustain.

[Elijah Craig]

I do believe that smart girls see the ugliness of Fundamentalism sooner than smart boys do because the rules are so much stricter for them.

[pastor's wife]

(08-15-2011 11:06 PM)notdrinkingthekoolaid Wrote:  The goal for both is the facade of perfection which is impossible to sustain.

Well said. Very true and very sad.

I remember realizing at BJU how when we were allowed to be "casual", guys got to wear jeans while we girls wore long jean skirts with sneakers! The guys looked normal; the girls looked unfashionable and grandmothery. Guys holding open the doors for us just wasn't worth it!

[senda wales]

(08-15-2011 11:11 PM)Elijah Craig Wrote:  I do believe that smart girls see the ugliness of Fundamentalism sooner than smart boys do because the rules are so much stricter for them.

This. ++

[MrsSarahN]

The only people in fundyland who have it easy are the menogawds. =P

But with that said, although it can be very tough for men, fundyland is definitely the hardest for women. I felt so trapped and hopeless while I was in it.