believing you're the only kid who's prayed the Sinner's Prayer hundreds of times

[JordanMaria]

Oh yes, I know that horrible sick feeling as a kid that maybe I didn't pray or believe hard enough and the rapture would happen and I'd be left behind or I'd die in my sleep and go to hell. I'd have constant nightmares about being left behind after the rapture or not being let into heaven. I would constantly rededicate my life to God. I hated testimony time because I didn't have a life-changing story to share. Now that I look back, why would I have a dramatic salvation story? I was raised a Fundy. There was no crazy life I was saved from.

[elfdream]

Same here. Went forward in church but prayed it several times on my own. Took me a while to realize that that the whole scenario was extra Biblical. Its not necessarily a bad thing but its not a one size fits all event.

[richao]

Same here, and despite being two decades out of fundamentalism, still occasionally find myself praying it again, generally when I fly. Will probably spend my last moments on earth desperately praying it.

Still haven't figured out how this psychological torment squares with Jesus's statement that his yoke is easy and his burden light. To hear fundy preachers tell it, God is actually a sadist who's happy to let his putative children writhe under the boulder of doubt.

[Jenn]

Quote:I used to be glad that I played the piano during invitations because I could better keep from giving in to the pressure to go foward because I really WAS scared that I wasn't saved but I was way too shy or proud or embarrassed or confused to admit it. Me? The good girl? The head deacon's daughter? The sweet, obedient first born who never got in trouble? How could SHE not be saved? Then I'd be afraid that my pride was keeping me from heaven. But I knew God said if you came to Him He wouldn't cast you out. I'd come to Him, so He couldn't cast me out! But then why did I have doubts? Why was I scared?

I sorta had this too. Well, I wasn't particularly sweet or a deacon's kid, but I did have that guilt that what I needed to do is publicly go forward. I never walked an isle to be saved. I felt like this was a form of denial, that I never went forward and prayed with someone. I always prayed alone.

[Tooktheredpill]

I had to laugh when I read this thread. Not because I think it's actually funny. But because I can relate so closely to the experiences described.

I was terrorized every night for most of my childhood. At one point I was afraid that I was the antichrist (that would explain why I couldn't get "truly" saved after all).

My younger sister and I had a rapture pact. If the rapture took place and only one of us started going up we'd grab the other.

[pastor's wife]

(08-01-2011 08:09 PM)Jenn Wrote:  I did have that guilt that what I needed to do is publicly go forward. I never walked an isle to be saved. I felt like this was a form of denial, that I never went forward and prayed with someone. I always prayed alone.

This thought crossed my mind before too. I'd worry that praying a prayer in my head to myself wasn't good enough; I had to go forward in church to "confess Him before men" and if I didn't want to, it meant I wasn't saved.

Usually, I could think myself through to the point where I realized that was adding my works to Christ's sacrifice, but it was certainly another dimension to the multi-layered worries I had about not being truly saved.

[Chad Williams]

I know when I was saved wiithout a doubt, June 15, 1990. That said, there was a period in my late teens to early twenties I did backslide, but I repented and have strived to follow Jesus the best I can. As humans, we will fail and we will sin after salvation, that is part of the Curse. I live my life in constant reflection in regards to Christ, if I knowingly commit sin I ask for forgivness. The main thing to remember is once the sin is forgiven is to move one. The Lord has forgotten and holds it not against you, neither should we.

[elfdream]

(08-02-2011 09:38 AM)Chad Williams Wrote:  I know when I was saved wiithout a doubt, June 15, 1990. That said, there was a period in my late teens to early twenties I did backslide, but I repented and have strived to follow Jesus the best I can. As humans, we will fail and we will sin after salvation, that is part of the Curse. I live my life in constant reflection in regards to Christ, if I knowingly commit sin I ask for forgivness. The main thing to remember is once the sin is forgiven is to move one. The Lord has forgotten and holds it not against you, neither should we.

That is good but we aren't talking about sin here. Its about people planting doubt in the minds of young people and those same young people not being taught how to deal with that doubt.

[Jenjenjen]

This all makes me so sad. I remember asking God to save me, again, one night at the Wilds--"just in case."

Today I know that it's not about saying the right words or remembering an exact date. Do I believe that Jesus died for my sins? Yes. Do I accept His payment as the only way for me to get into heaven? Yes. Then that's it! Case closed.

[RJW]

Adding my name to those who prayed millions of times (only a slight exaggeration, probably).