A little about Faith

[Faith]

I'm a woman who is attracted to guys. That doesn't sound gay to me.

I guess to those who don't accept me as female, I am gay. But gay guys aren't interested in me, so am I gay? It's straight guys who are attracted to me.

Here's a pic of me, I'm the one with the antlers. It's from a church function, Santa is my pastor - who happens to be a lesbian. Those who know that Santa Claus is a unisex freak of Satan should find this quite amusing.

http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2010/12/...-the-book/

[Jenn]

Ok, I gotcha. You look good. :)

[LutheranEmily]

Faith

How do straight guys react to you when they find out that you are anatomically male?
Or have you had surgery? How do they react then if you tell them that you had to have surgery to be anatomically female?

Dismiss my questions if you would rather not answer them of course. I am just curious.

[Faith]

(01-28-2011 11:01 AM)LutheranEmily Wrote:  How do straight guys react to you when they find out that you are anatomically male?

Panic.
I have only told men who I am seriously interested in. It hasn't worked out well. If a guy is just flirting with me or I'm not interested in him - he doesn't need to know. The post-op women I've talked to run into the same problem, so I'm not expecting that my love life will improve dramatically this summer.

My thoughts on the problem: I blame oppositional sexism. Our culture views men and women as opposites, as two mutually exclusive categories. It's considered impossible for there to be any mixture or exchange between those two categories. My OKCupid profile mentions that I am TS, and still the most common question I get is "So you are really a guy?" And that's where homophobia comes in. Guys are afraid that thinking I'm cute means they are gay. Worse than that, they are afraid other people will find out they are dating a TS, and think they are gay. There's really nothing most guys fear more than having anybody think they are gay. The guys who have continued to be interested after they learned my history are bi or pansexual. Unfortunately none of them have been the right guy for me.

[Jenn]

Faith, you must be the kind of person that people feel they can confide in. You've been through so much. I'll bet your friends feel they can tell you anything.

[Faith]

Jenn, it's kind of spooky that you said that. It scares me some of the stuff people tell me. I'm not a therapist, I don't have any training, but people seem to feel compelled to tell me what's really troubling them. And then they ask for advice, and that is the scariest thing of all!

I'm curious to know what gave you that impression about me?

[Jenn]

Probably because there's more things I personally would not share on here, but just between me and you, I would.

[Just Curious]

(01-28-2011 10:08 PM)Faith Wrote:  I'm curious to know what gave you that impression about me?

Your tone is consistently kind and gracious on here, even when you're disagreeing with people on SLF/the Forum. I think that's part of it.

[Jenn]

People can be desperate to talk to someone with the assurance that that person will not freak out, or call all their friends afterword, or take it to their prayer group. Most people don't have a therapist. With all you've been through, and the rejection you've experienced, I think it would take a lot to freak you out. I think people feel safe to tell you things.

[Just Curious]

(01-28-2011 10:47 PM)Jenn Wrote:  People can be desperate to talk to someone with the assurance that that person will not freak out, or call all their friends afterword, or take it to their prayer group. Most people don't have a therapist. With all you've been through, and the rejection you've experienced, I think it would take a lot to freak you out. I think people feel safe to tell you things.

What she said.