Crossing the Rubicon

[JordanMaria]

(05-09-2011 04:53 PM)leaving Wrote:  

(05-09-2011 04:29 PM)TomK Wrote:  Burn the witch! <|:^.D

@leaving Wow, it's cool. Grace2Live is a big girl. It isn't uncommon that her friend honestly had never known someone who never drank. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt instead of slapping her with a "moron" whose "ignorance shouldn't be tolerated." Dude, she is a friend at work.

She's also an adult, and any adult I know understands the phrase "I don't drink".

It is a big deal like I said. What if she does that to a recovering alcoholic pretending she "has no idea". That wouldn't be such a good situation now, would it?

I have no tolerance for manipulation, having been in a manipulative environment a good part of my life. This is just manipulation in the other direction.

Plenty of adults don't drink, and they should not have to explain why to other adults. It should just be respected.

Some people interpret "I don't drink" as "I'm not an alcoholic." I know some people who say they "don't drink" yet they have a glass of wine once in a while. To them, that's not "drinking". And though it's not technically right, some people don't view having some champagne as "drinking". Different people have different definitions of things, and others genuinely don't have any common sense and do silly things that have nothing to do with maniuplation.

I'm hypersensitive to anything that smells like maniuplation just as you are, but saying she's "manipulating" and calling her a "moron" is just "ignorance that shouldn't be tolerated" on your part. You don't know her personally. You don't know every factor in the situation. Therefore, you cannot judge that woman's intentions or character.

[grace2live]

My friend is neither a moron nor manipulative. And I'm leaving it at that.

[leaving]

(05-09-2011 05:50 PM)JordanMaria Wrote:  Some people interpret "I don't drink" as "I'm not an alcoholic." I know some people who say they "don't drink" yet they have a glass of wine once in a while. To them, that's not "drinking". And though it's not technically right, some people don't view having some champagne as "drinking". Different people have different definitions of things, and others genuinely don't have any common sense and do silly things that have nothing to do with maniuplation.

I'm hypersensitive to anything that smells like maniuplation just as you are, but saying she's "manipulating" and calling her a "moron" is just "ignorance that shouldn't be tolerated" on your part. You don't know her personally. You don't know every factor in the situation. Therefore, you cannot judge that woman's intentions or character.

I know she is being stupid because "I don't drink" means exactly that. In fact, I've asked several people about this since I got such a backlash, and they were all like "umm, duh, it means you don't drink. Like, at all." I said "yeah, I know". So, to do it anyway when one says they don't do it is called manipulation. I don't have to know the woman to know that is what she was doing.

[pastor's wife]

1 Corinthians 13:7 says that love "believes the best in all, there is no limit to her hope, and she will never fall.' (International Standard Version). This is what I'm encouraging you to do, leaving. Verse 5 says love "is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

I know you're leery of manipulation and I don't blame you because you have been treated extremely unfairly (and it's worse when it's done by people who are supposed to be godly and holy), but love demands that we believe the best of others, not assume the worst.

[leaving]

(05-09-2011 09:15 PM)pastors wife Wrote:  1 Corinthians 13:7 says that love "believes the best in all, there is no limit to her hope, and she will never fall.' (International Standard Version). This is what I'm encouraging you to do, leaving. Verse 5 says love "is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

I know you're leery of manipulation and I don't blame you because you have been treated extremely unfairly (and it's worse when it's done by people who are supposed to be godly and holy), but love demands that we believe the best of others, not assume the worst.

Yes, but when one purposely does something that is blatantly obviously manipulative, that kind of goes out the window. If there were ANY doubt in my mind, I'd give her the benefit of it. But there isn't any doubt. I actually am very surprised that others can't see it.

But I'll leave it alone now I promise, since it seems people don't want to see the obvious.