Spiritual Abuse?

[notdrinkingthekoolaid]

Spiritual abuse is relatively new term for me and I'm trying to flesh it out and really grasp its meaning and the affect it had on me. Can anyone point me in the direction of resources on the subject--books, online, whatever?

Thanks.

[Lizzy F.]

(04-26-2011 11:42 PM)notdrinkingthekoolaid Wrote:  Spiritual abuse is relatively new term for me and I'm trying to flesh it out and really grasp its meaning and the affect it had on me. Can anyone point me in the direction of resources on the subject--books, online, whatever?

Thanks.

I've found Jeff VonVanderen's books helpful. He wrote:
-The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse
-Tired of Trying to Measure Up
-Soul Repair <----This last one is more about re-establishing your relationship with God and finding healthy spirituality. It's sort of a "sequel" to the other books and it's helped me keep my faith intact despite all the crap I've been through.

There's also
-Quivering Daughters by Hillary McFarland. She also has a blog by the same name. It's not exactly "fundy" but she deals with problems/emotions that are more specific to women who've experiences spiritual abuse.

On Hillary's blog there's links to other blogs. I'd particularly recommend "Commandments of Men". Lewis (the author) has an interesting perspective because he didn't grow up with this stuff but was introduced to by his might-have-been fiance.

[notdrinkingthekoolaid]

Thank you! I think I stumbled across Lewis' blog...spent a couple hours reading. I'll take a look at the other suggestions.

[Innocent Lamb]

Spiritual abuse is a new term for me, too. I did not grow up fundy, but married into a family with VERY fundy beliefs, even though they tried to hide how extreme they were. It was almost 5 years before anything I would consider "spritual abuse" started, and it came from my ex MIL. When her son cheated on me and abandoned me, it "looked bad" for the family, so she promptly turned it all on ME and started trying to convince me that his actions were due to MY "sin" of not being a good enough wife. She bombarded me with examples of how I had failed and brought this on myself (none of which were even remotely valid). I was so hurt and desperate for answers that I almost bought it, but I woke and and cut off communication with her instead. Just that brief episode of spiritual abuse was very painful and damaging to me, and I can't imagine growing up under a lifetime of it. I believe it is very much real, and I believe it can come from pastors/church leaders as well as family members.

[Darcy]

I second VanVonderan's books. They are excellent and really helped my to put my finger on my problems so I could deal with them.

[notdrinkingthekoolaid]

(04-27-2011 09:55 AM)Darcy Wrote:  I second VanVonderan's books. They are excellent and really helped my to put my finger on my problems so I could deal with them.

That's kind of where I am. I often think that it would be "easier" to deal with if there were specific points of time I could point to and say, THIS is when/where I was wronged. Instead...I've got these years of indoctrination to reprogram and sort thru.

Thanks for the suggestions!